Raising My Son
by chocolate-emeralds
Summary: Bella Swan is a single mom raising her 4 year old son. Edward Cullen has been a single dad for over 2 years since his wife left him and his now 4 year old son. On the 4th birthday of their sons, their world gets turned upside down with the news - they were switched at birth. Romance, Drama, Humor, some Angst. EB REm AJ. AH.
1. Chapter 1: Revelations

**Hello All. This is my first fic. I've had a lot of story lines in my head for a while, but this one keeps going and going and I finally decided to get it on paper. It'll be a slow go for a while, I'm just going to post the first couple of chapters to hopefully garner enough interest to keep on writing. **

**A couple of things about me and my writing style. I'm not big on switching POV's. I tried writing this in 3****rd**** person, but it didn't really sound as good. I do have this whole story outlined, but I'm a firm believer that each chapter builds on the previous and the next, so it is likely that I won't post chapters until I'm a couple of chapters ahead. I think that will make my story better. I love lemons, but prefer plots – if that makes any sense. If a lemon can be worked into the story, they will be. **

**FULL SUMMARY:**

**Bella Swan is a single mom raising her 4 year old son, Anthony. She spends her nights fearing the father of her son, her rapist. Edward Cullen has been a single dad for over 2 years since his wife, Tanya, left him and his now 4 year old son, Aiden. He's still a little mad at Tanya who left them because she felt no connection with her son. On the boys' 4****th**** birthdays, it is discovered that they were switched at birth. How will they deal with this new information? Canon couples. All human. Does deal with rape aftermath, but not as dark since some time has gone by. EB REm AJ. AH. **

**This is the edited version of this chapter, thanks to my Beta there should be a lot less mistakes! If you've already read this, no worries. You don't have to re-read.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight. Therefore I do not own Twilight or these characters or anything you might recognize. **

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Chapter 1 – Revelations

If someone had told me that the absolute worst experience of my life would put me on a path that would lead to the best thing that has ever happened to me, I probably would have had him or her committed. Things were, dare I say, normal when it all got turned upside down, again.

I look at him and see so much of a person that I don't know, a person I hate. He smiles at me, and I know it's not a smile I've seen on anyone else before. It's not my smile, it's not my Dad's smile, and although it's been years since I've seen her, I know it's not my Mom's smile. I hate the fact that someone I love so much, someone that represents love, innocence and the very best parts of me, also has ingredients that come from something so awful and evil.

I find it really hard to even think these feelings, because a mother should never have doubts about her child. Still, I can't help looking at the smiles of strangers trying to find the one that's only slightly crooked. The one that turns up on the left when he's being mischievous, or when he's shy or embarrassed about something. It's also a smile that is not crooked at all when he's happy, laughing or telling me he loves me. It's a smile that is all his, but it's not. It had to come from somewhere, right?

When I look at him, I am filled with warmth and unconditional love. He is such a loving and caring little boy and I know that I am responsible for that. I am the one that showed him how to love. When I doubt my skills as a Mom, one smile or hug from him wipes those thoughts from my mind.

Well, years of therapy haven't hurt either. Therapy has helped me come to terms with what happened to me. The thoughts and memories of what I went through no longer cripple me, but I am still haunted by that horrible event. However, rather then allowing these painful thoughts and memories to hurt me, I remind myself how far I have come and how strong I am. Seeing my beautiful son continue to thrive is the best therapy. But still, I can't help but be afraid sometimes. I have many reasons to be.

I was kidnapped. I was raped. I was beaten within inch of my life. I was left for dead. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. I was rescued. I spent months in the hospital recovering from extensive injuries. I fought. I kept fighting for my life. And nine months after my attack, I was a mom.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Rose, could you bring me the presents that I hid at your apartment for Anthony's birthday?" I said into the phone wedged between my shoulder and ear.

"Sure thing, girl. I can't believe the little man is going to be 4 this weekend. It feels like yesterday that you almost broke my hand giving birth," she replied.

My best friend likes to bring that up as much as possible. I think she's secretly happy that she got to witness the birth of her Godson. Not because it was such a magical experience or anything, but because she seemed in a hurry to have children before she watched me push a watermelon through a straw. Since then, she hasn't brought up her childless status, instead focusing on being the best aunt possible.

"Do you still want me and Jazz there at 10 am to help set up?"

"Yes. Thanks Rosalie. It's not going to be too many people, but Anthony was at Charlie's last night and I could use a lot of help to get this place clean, all of the food cooked, and the decorations put up."

"No problem sweetie. I told you years ago, you're not alone in this," she replied.

Rosalie continues to blame herself for what happened to me. She feels guilty that she wasn't there; believing that if she had been it would have made a difference. But what I went through has brought us even closer together. She has always been my friend, but I now consider her family. She was a tower of strength in my darkest hours, supporting me unconditionally. Knowing me as well as she does, she knew what decisions I would later regret and helped me to see the alternatives. She was my strength, my shoulder to cry on, and the light in the darkness.

There was a time when I was tempted to give him up, to let someone else raise my son because he was a product of my rape. I was terrified about so many things associated with him. I was afraid that I wouldn't love him because he would be a constant reminder of what happened. I was afraid that he might grow up to be evil. These thoughts caused me shame, I was going to be a Mother, and how could a Mother think these things about her child?

I was afraid of being a single Mom so young, without the money, the resources or the support to raise a child. I had nothing to offer this baby. If I was going to be the only parent this child ever had, I would be terrible. I would fail him and all his mistakes would be because I was a terrible parent. I was afraid of my own shadow and I could not leave my house. I was in no state to be anyone's Mom.

I remember the night I changed my mind like it was yesterday. Probably because it was the first time that I smiled since my attack. Or at least that is what people tell me. I was about five months pregnant and had just come home from the hospital. In all that time, I had never been alone for a single night. It was my first night alone since my rescue.

My family and friends had brought me home and helped my get settled before I asked them to go. I locked my bedroom door and made it very clear to everyone that no matter what happened I wanted to be alone. I was determined to get through the night in my comfortable bed.

But being alone was terrifying. I couldn't turn out the lights or turn off the TV because I was too scared of the silence and the darkness. My emotions were overwhelming and soon I started crying. Crying because I didn't know the man who attacked me. Crying because I knew he was still out there somewhere. Crying because when they found me there wasn't any DNA on my body to collect. I cried for the months my family sat by my side, how they were the first ones to find out I was pregnant. I cried with relief that they knew me well enough to know that I could not abort my child even though his father was my rapist. And I cried with frustration because according to the doctors I was too fragile to perform an amniocentesis and they were waiting until the baby was born to get any information on its father's DNA.

But mostly, I was crying for the fact that this child, my child, was going to grow up without me. My father and Jacob had spent hours talking to me, convincing me that adoption was my best option. My father told me horror stories about being a single parent and all the difficulties and challenges involved. Jacob mostly just worried about my health and my ability to care for an infant in my current mental and physical state.

Me, well I was waiting for a sign that would help me to make a decision one way or the other. Either I could do this, I was strong enough to do this, or I wasn't. But I couldn't see any sign. And I couldn't settle on a decision. One minute I would think I could raise this baby and the next I couldn't. I kept trying to make a plan but every 'If I do this' scenario ended badly. The only thing I was certain of, what I wanted, no what I needed, was for this child to be loved and taken care of. If I weren't the person who was best suited to do that, I would survive.

I told myself that if I decided this was really something I could do, wanted to do, and came to that decision before I left the hospital, then I would cancel the meeting I had scheduled with the adoption agency. But here I was, home again and still there had been no sign.

I was devastated and the perfect storm of being alone, pregnant, raging hormones and my fragile psychological state led to this cathartic release. I tried to remember the last time something had upset me this much. I think the last time that I cried like this was when I was little and my dad told me that my mom wasn't coming home anymore. I asked if she joined Grammy and Grampy in Heaven. Tears came to his eyes as he told me that she had gone to a place where Mom's go when they're sick and can't take care of their kids anymore. I know now that that place was Rehab.

My mom never came back home after her treatment. She didn't want to come back to live with my Dad and I. She eventually found a new family, one that didn't include me. I knew the pain of being a child that was unwanted and unloved by her Mother and there was no way I was going to put the child I was carrying through that. I had always thought that when I eventually became a Mom, I would love and support my child unconditionally and he or she would never, ever doubt how much they are loved and how very special they are.

The fact that I was now having a baby and I had no guarantees that they would grow up knowing this, made me cry even harder. It felt like there was no end in sight to my tears when the sign I'd been waiting for finally came. It felt like something was fluttering in my stomach. The feeling was so unnerving that I gasped in a giant shuddering breath, immediately worried that something was very wrong with me.

Because of my injuries from the abduction, I had been in the hospital for months. The physical rehabilitation and physiotherapy was grueling and painful. But I had continued to fight and I had survived. And despite the odds, so had the baby. My pregnancy was considered high risk because of the traumas my body endured in the early months. It was still very much a wait and see scenario as to whether or not the baby would be ok. And so far, I hadn't felt the child in my womb.

In hindsight, I had felt something like butterflies, but it did not feel unusual so I hadn't give it much thought. But suddenly I felt the movement again, and I sensed an almost immediate calmness settle over me. I knew that it was the baby moving and all I could think about, was the fact that this child, my child, was trying to soothe me. I never wanted my child to have to take care of me, like I had had to do for my Dad a lot while growing up. It was like a light suddenly went off in my brain. In that moment I knew that I was meant to be the mother of this innocent child. There would be no guarantees in life except for my love for him, and that was ok. I spent the rest of the night smiling to myself and talking for the first time to my unborn child.

When I finally did fall asleep, my dreams were filled with the happy future that I could have with my child, if I kept him or her. The next morning I woke up more determined than I had ever been before in my life. I got dressed in something other than yoga pants or a hospital gown, and I made the calls that would undoubtedly change my life. Then I unlocked and opened the door to my room to find Jasper and Rosalie asleep on the floor, keeping watch, even after I insisted I wanted to be alone.

I went downstairs and started cooking breakfast, one of my favorite things to do. It was my way of saying thank you for everything they had done for me. The smell must have awoken my guards, because they came running. I heard them slow down when they got close to the kitchen and enter the room warily. As if to say, 'don't worry, it's all going to be ok from now on,' my child chose that moment to kick again.

According to my two best friends, my hand quickly went to rub the spot on my belly and my face lit up like it was Christmas. Jasper and Rosalie immediately rushed to surround me with a hug filled with relief and pure joy. But before they could start crying, I scolded them and said, "No more tears. Today marks the first day of healing. I have an appointment with the therapist, I cancelled the appointment with the adoption agency, and we have four months to make this place baby ready because you two are going to be an aunt and an uncle."

My dad always said that it takes me a while to make a decision, but as soon as I do I rarely change my mind. He never questioned me on my decision to keep and raise my son. Whether it was my determination he saw, or the fact that he did not want to give his Grandson to a complete stranger to raise, I'll never know.

But back to the present.

"None of that today, Rosalie Lillian Hale!" I exclaimed. "Today is my son's 4th birthday party. Now tell me, are you going to invite that guy whose bed you just hopped out of, or will there be no plus one for you this year?"

"Just me this year. No plus one for Jazz either. I think after inviting Lucy and Eric to Christmas dinner this past year, the grilling that Poppa Swan gave them was enough to make sure no one meets the family until there is a ring on the finger. And when he whipped out those background checks? Well let's just say, your Dad was lucky that Anthony was there to protect him from me!"

I chuckled at that memory. My father adopted the two Hale siblings like his own after Rosalie was assigned as my roommate freshman year of college at UW. Needless to say, Poppa Swan, as they affectionately call him, is a little overprotective of all three of us.

"I think that's one of the reasons that Jacob and Carlie ran off to Vegas to get married."

"Probably. Are they flying in from Detroit?"

"Not this year, although it seems like they sent a whole toy store to make up for it. Billy is coming with Charlie, but the newlyweds just got settled into their new house. I wasn't expecting them to come."

Rose just hummed in agreement. Although she never got along with Jacob, I think she secretly misses him. But since he got married to Carlie and got a job working at General Motors, he's moved away and thus isn't around anymore for Rose to pick on.

"Alright well it's almost nine now and I have to, uh, head home and change. I'll call Jazz on my way to make sure he'll be there by 10 as well."

I said my thanks and goodbyes and got off the phone. There was so much to do, including finishing the cake. The cake, while an uncommon theme for a 4-year-olds party, was actually requested by my little man. He wanted music notes. Ever since we discovered his hidden talents for the piano, I've been overjoyed to indulge his latest hobby. I have a feeling that this won't be just a hobby if the smile on his face is any indication. And that is more than fine with me.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Two hours later, Jasper is helping move some of the furniture around to make more room for the guests. He has spent a lot of time outside getting the water balloons and slip-n-slide ready. Rosalie is decorating every inch of this house in green and blue decorations. I am in the kitchen putting the final touches on the food. It's a kids party, so they'd be happy with lots of sugary goodness and chips and dip, but since there will be more adults than kids, I'm having a lot of grown up food too. I'm just glad my kid's not picky when it comes to food. Being a chef, I'm constantly trying out new foods and recipes. Luckily Anthony likes to try just about everything I make.

We have the stereo on full blast and the three of us are currently belting, "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. Jasper's 80s/90s mix has the three of us doing more singing than working.

Jasper at 30 years old, is 4 years older than Rosalie and I, and a retired Marine. It was his idea to plan the 'epic water gun war' or so he deemed it. In fact, I've told the plan to all of the Dads who are going to be attending the party so they could participate too, if they wanted. Of course Rosalie, being a little bit of a tomboy, told me that was sexist, so I invited the Moms to participate also.

Jasper has a list of the participants, and has spent all week dividing the teams to make it a fair fight. I indulge him because my son loves him so much. And because it's just water, I'm hoping that no one gets hurt.

Once a Marine, always a Marine, or something like that. Only now Jasper runs his own security firm. He employs private security personal and bodyguards and installs and manages security systems for homes and businesses. I don't think it was in his original plan, but after what happened to me, he became obsessed with keeping people safe. Charlie tried to recruit him for the police force but Jasper preferred to do his own thing. He's been really successful so far. In fact, he's mentioned once or twice about expanding his business beyond Seattle.

Rosalie is a College Professor. She teaches two classes on Auto Mechanics, if you can believe that, and she is also the college's Swim Coach. At 5 foot 11 inches tall, the beautiful blonde has an air of intimidation that surrounds her. She's my take no bullshit best friend. In college when she was on the swim team, the girl was a size 0, but after graduation, it took her a while to learn what she could eat when she wasn't practicing 5 hours a day. She's put on some pounds since then, but the curves she has make her look better, healthier, and more bad-ass, if you ask me.

Me on the other hand, I'm a private chef. It's the perfect job for me to have while raising Anthony. I have about 25 families that I cook for a couple nights a week. I usually just cook the meals in my home and deliver to their homes before dinner. If a family has a special occasion or event, I'll cook in their house. It keeps me home with my son, but keeps the paycheck coming. I honestly love what I do. I also give private cooking lessons a couple of days each month.

Because the three of us has such flexible jobs, we spend a lot of time together with Anthony. Rosalie was right when she told me I'm not alone in this.

Just as the song switches to Joan Jett's 'I Hate Myself For Loving You,' my doorbell rings. The three of us look at each other and laugh. Five seconds earlier or later we might not have heard the doorbell over the music.

Jasper sets the chair down where it is, and starts making his way to the door. I reach for the stereo remote to turn the music off while Rosalie peeks out the bay window to try to see who's here. I'm not sure who it is either, since the party is not supposed to start for another few hours. I put down the taco dip that I'm in the process of making, and start wiping my hands on my apron. I may be a chef, but I'm probably the messiest chef there is. I'm sure there's flour in my hair or something, but that doesn't ever matter to me.

I hear the door open and Jasper asking if he can help whoever he sees there. He must not know who they are since the door is barely open and I can't see out. Typical Jazz, always watching for potential threats.

I hear a smooth voice ask for me and Jasper inquire what this is regarding.

"You must be Mr. Swan. My name is Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme. We've flown in from Chicago to speak to your wife regarding a very personal matter. I assure you we mean no harm, but it is imperative that we speak with you and your wife."

I'm at the door now and I can barely see through Jaspers stance, but the man and woman I manage to catch a glimpse of are about in their mid to late 50s, impeccably dressed and are looking nervous and slightly anxious. Jasper can obviously sense their tension too, because he shuffles, protecting his position and completely blocking the door to ensure neither of them will come through it.

"I'm sorry you came all this way Mr. Cullen, but I don't know you or your wife and I'm not sure about letting you into this home," Jasper replies. I notice he does not correct the couple about being my husband or this being his home. But I'm used to stuff like that when it comes to Jazz.

"I apologize Mr. Swan but the nature of our visit could not be relayed through a phone call and it really would be better if we spoke about this in private."

My curiosity piqued, I was just about to make my presence known and to tell Jasper to let them in when he decided to meet them halfway.

"If that is the case, Mr. Cullen then why don't you and your wife follow me around the house. We can speak on the back porch," Jasper replies, with curiosity leaking into his tone.

The backyard was decorated with funny posters of Anthony and other party decorations. But it also had been set up for the water fight that was planned for the party. Since Rosalie and I could cut through the house, we beat Jasper and the Cullen's to the backyard. I'm not sure if Jasper wanted us there or not, but I figured if he didn't he would have said something.

I heard her gasp before I saw her. Mrs. Cullen was just rounding the corner, in plain view of pictures of my son, when I got my first good look at her. She was probably my height with caramel colored hair that looked professionally styled. I couldn't see her eyes for they were hidden behind expensive shades. She looked like she was dressed for travelling. Well her husband did say that they had just arrived from Chicago. As she lifted her shades from her eyes, I noticed that she was staring directly at a picture of my son. The picture was of him cross-eyed, holding his breath and pulling his ears out. He thinks it makes him look like a monkey. She brought her trembling hand up to her mouth while the other squeezed the hand of her husband.

Her husband was also frozen, but he was staring in my direction, wearing a shocked expression. Mr. Cullen was tall, probably 6 foot 2, with grayish blonde hair. Like his wife, he is impeccably dressed in a button down and gray slacks.

Jasper knocked the couple out of their trance when he called for me. "Bella, this is," he started.

"Isabella Swan?" Mr. Cullen asked. "I'm Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme." He reached for my hand as I neared.

"Bella, please, Mr. Cullen," I replied, shaking the trembling hands of the couple before me.

"Bella then. Please call us Carlisle and Esme," she replied smiling widely.

"Well then Esme, this is Rosalie and," Jasper cut me off before I could introduce him. I believe he was trying to save me from introducing him as a friend rather than my husband, which the couple before me had presumed.

"I'm Jasper, why don't you follow me to the patio table. Can I offer you anything to drink?" He was taking this host thing a little too far. I don't think Anthony or I have ever been offered anything to drink when over at his house.

They declined Jasper's hospitality as the five of us started making our way over to the patio table.

"I'm sorry for the mess, we're preparing for my son's birthday party later this afternoon," I told them because they seemed a little too interested in the pictures and other decorations.

I heard Esme whisper to Carlisle, "It has to be him. And did you see her eyes?" as we were heading up the steps of the deck.

"Well I hate to call out an awkward situation, but we don't have all day. We have a birthday party to finish setting up for." Rosalie, ever the blunt one, exclaimed as we sat down.

"Rosalie!" Jasper and I both called. Jazz sounded amused. My reply was laced with censure because she came off as rude. But I was also relieved for what she said. I was curious to know what this meeting was about, but did not have the guts to ask these strangers to just spit it out. She just laughed us off with a wave of her hand.

"Bella, if you wouldn't mind indulging my wife and I a couple questions before we tell you the nature of our visit." I nodded; a little amused at the way Mr. Cullen spoke, like he was from a different century.

"You have a son who is going to turn 4 next week, correct?" Again, I nodded. The mention of my son raised the hairs on the back of my neck. I reached for Rosalie's hand, which made Esme's eyebrow quirk that I was seeking comfort from her and not my 'husband'. Jasper sensing the exchange put his arm around my shoulders.

"Your son was born at Northwest Hospital in Seattle, correct?" At my nod, Mr. Cullen grabbed for his wife's hand. "Then there's no easy way to say this other than to come right out and say it. We believe that the child you have been raising may be our Grandson."

At his words, I felt my breathing stop and my heart start to race. Did the parents of the man who raped me really just walk into my backyard and try to lay claim to their grandson? Could this really be happening?

Time seemed to stop as my brain made numerous connections. The color of Anthony's hair seemed to be an odd mixture of both of the Cullen's coloring. My hair is brown with hints of red and I had always thought his hair was similar to mine. His is brown with hints of both red and blonde making an odd bronze shade. His eyes were also the same shape as Carlisle's, but their color was the same as mine.

I was broken from my trance as Jasper jumped out of his chair, making it almost tumble off the deck.

"I can't believe you could show your face after what your son did to Bella. And sit there smiling at us like you have some claim to Anthony, are you fucking nuts?" He was shouting now.

I briefly heard Rosalie on the phone, most likely with my dad. I was just about to beg her to forbid my dad from bringing Anthony here, when she said the two words 'come alone'. Those words made me breathe a sigh of relief. The first breath I had taken since Carlisle had spoken.

Carlisle and Jasper were now shouting at each other, as Esme watched on with a horrified expression, tears streaming down her face. I honestly didn't know what to do when Rosalie slammed her fist on the table, the noise causing everyone to startle.

"That's enough!" She roared.

Properly chastised Carlisle started sitting down, while Jasper just stood there with his arms folded staring at the Cullen's.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean, I think it came out wrong. We shouldn't have said it like that," Esme started. She was speaking in riddles and not making any sense. I just wanted to, needed to, understand what she was trying to say.

"Esme, please explain it to us then. Why do you believe my son is your grandson?" I asked trying to remain as calm as possible. I don't know how I knew, but something was telling me that this couple did not come here to reveal the identity of my attacker. Nothing however could have prepared me for the news that they delivered.

"Bella, we have reason to believe that your son, and our grandson, Aiden, were switched at birth."

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**There you go. PLEASE LEAVE SOME LOVE!**


	2. Chapter 2: Denial

**Thanks for all of your great responses to the last chapter. I'm truly humbled by the reviews and the number of people who have put this story on their alerts. I recognize how hard it is to sometimes read the first chapter of a new story by a new author and put your faith that you're going to be reading something that's going to be finished. I'm hoping after I get the first couple chapters posted, I can get into a groove and have a regular posting schedule.**

**I took a lot of suggestions to heart and made a lot of changes to this chapter, which may be why I'm posting it later than I expected. An anonymous reviewer felt I glossed over the past a little in the beginning. I wanted to address that because I did that on purpose. It plays a major part to the story and I couldn't-not bring it up, but I didn't want to give all the details in the beginning. I honestly thought it would be too depressing and not really show how far Bella has come. I wouldn't want to show all my cards before placing the first bet! **

**This chapter is the edited version. I posted the changes after getting a beta. If you have already read this chapter the only changes were minor grammatical, so feel free to skip it.**

**A disclaimer that I forgot last chapter: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight. Therefore I do not own Twilight or these characters or anything you might recognize. **

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_Previously on Raising my Son …_

___"Bella, we have reason to believe that your son, and our grandson, Aiden, were switched at birth."_

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Chapter 2 - Denial

"I'm sorry, Esme, could you repeat that?" Jasper asks. It seems as if he is the only one able to speak right now.

"We recently had to run genetics testing on all the members of the family, and the testing revealed that Aiden was not biologically related to our family. At first we blamed my son's ex-wife" Carlisle started before Esme interrupted.

"Deceitful bitch."

"Esme!" Carlisle exclaimed looking at her then us with a wide expression.

"What?" She replied, clearly not apologetic of the description she gave of her ex-daughter in law. If this situation weren't so serious, I might have cracked a smile at her expression. "Don't tell me you haven't had the same thoughts about that horrible woman."

Carlisle turned back to us, ignoring his wife's statement. "We were prepared to just go on with life, it doesn't matter to us who fathered Aiden, just that our son loves that little boy just as much as we do."

Esme continued, "And we haven't told Edward what we've learned yet. We weren't sure how to tell him. At first we considered that Tanya had been unfaithful, and that was the reason for the results. That news would be devastating to him.

"But that scenario just wasn't adding up either. Tanya, Edward's ex-wife, told him that she wanted to sail around the world for their honeymoon. So Edward bought them a boat to do so. They left from Boston and really only made it as far as Key West before they started going stir crazy on a boat just the two of them. So they docked the boat and flew home. But it was later found out that they conceived while on that boat. Since they were completely alone, it didn't make sense that Aiden was not Edward's.

"We discussed our options with our other children and agreed to look into this situation further. So we ran some additional tests, including a maternity test, which is when we found that Aiden was not biologically related to Tanya either."

It was like I was having an out of body experience. On one hand, I was enthralled with this couple's story. A switched at birth story is not something you hear every day. On the other hand, I knew this was the part that started involving me and I had so many questions. How could they think that this involved my son? If they live in Chicago, why was their grandson born in Seattle? If they haven't even told their son, why tell me?

Carlisle continued the story where his wife left off. "At this point, we were too far into this situation to stop searching for the answers. I am a doctor, so I used my connections to find out what I could. Due to confidentially laws and such, there was very limited information we could access. So we hired a private detective. We weren't sure what we were looking for, or would find at this point. But knowing that Aiden was not Edward's or Tanya's biological child raised the question, whose child was he?"

I was absolutely stunned as I tried to process what I was being told. But what now? Did these strangers honestly think that they could walk into my house and say 'we think you've been raising our grandson' and I would just go along with that? That I would let them see Anthony or, God forbid, take him without verifying their story? Even then! Did they want to swap the boys back? Were they expecting to hand over the boy who they claim they've loved for the last 4 years? They mentioned genetic tests – what was that for? Was he ok? I stopped my thoughts right there before I could start concerning myself with someone else's child. Anthony was my priority. I needed to protect him.

I noticed it had been quiet for a while and I was just about to ask the Cullen's to get on with it, to tell me what they wanted, when Jasper walked back toward the table carrying 5 water bottles. I was too preoccupied, not even having noticed that he left, to chastise him for not pouring the water into glasses for our guests.

Jasper saw my expression and rolled his eyes before winking at me. His playful attitude broke my trance and I knew that there was no way Jasper would let anything happen to me, or my son. I smiled back at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme's face fall a little.

"Thank you Jasper," Esme said. Carlisle grabbed onto Esme's hand and smiled at her lovingly before continuing.

"Our investigator, Jenks, obtained the birth records of the children born at Northwest Hospital around the same time as Aiden. From the initial records, we were able to narrow the list down considerably until there were half a dozen names or so. From there he began tracking down the addresses for these families so that we could discuss this situation in person. Most of the other families still live in or around the Seattle area. We did stop at two other houses earlier today, but the occupants were not home. Now that we are here, and have seen your son's picture and seen you, we are fairly certain that he is the other child involved in this switch."

"How so?" My voice was weak. I was terrified of what was coming and it was clear in the words I spoke out loud.

"Bella, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to show you a picture of my son, Edward at age 4."

I could hear my heart beating in my ears, but I must have nodded because she let go of her husband's hand and reached into her bag, pulled out a photo album and opened it. She gazed down at whatever she saw and stroked it once before passing it over to me. Rosalie, sensing my inability to let go of the death grip I had on her hand, reached out and grabbed it from Esme for me.

I heard her sharp intake of breath before I saw the photo.

Looking down I saw a young boy about Anthony's age. He had an unruly mop of hair that was so familiar to me. It had streaks of brown, red, and blonde throughout, though his hair had more blonde than Anthony's. His eyes were identical to Anthony's, except this boy's were green and Anthony's are brown. It was the smile, though, that made me stop breathing. This smile, is the smile of my son. It turned up a little more to the left, probably due to the mischievous glint in his eyes. That smile, and that look in his eyes, is something I would know and recognize anywhere. It was my Anthony, except it wasn't. This boy was sandwiched between a couple – a younger version of the couple sitting across from me, who look as if they haven't aged a day. If it weren't for the grayer hairs on Carlisle's head and the worry lines that Esme now had, I could almost accuse them of posing for a photo with my son. Except I couldn't. I knew, deep down somewhere, that boy in the photo was not my son, but probably the father of my son.

That thought had the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The man I've feared so long, the faceless man who I thought of as my attacker, is staring back at me. Except I know in my heart that it's not true. This man is not him. If what the Cullens are saying is true then that means …

"Would you like to see a picture of Aiden, Bella?" Esme's soft voice broke me out of my thoughts. I was just about to look up at her when I heard the pounding of running feet coming at us, and the voice of my father shouting, "Everybody freeze! Hands up!"

And since it had been a while since I had taken a breath, my world went black.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

When I came to, I was lying on a lounge chair still on the deck. Rosalie was stroking my hair and I could see Jasper talking to Charlie. If it weren't for the tears in Rosalie's eyes, and the few words I could make out from what Jasper was saying, I would think that everything that just happened was an awful nightmare.

Rosalie, seeing my eyes scanning for our guests says, "We sent them away. I got their contact information but they acknowledged that it might be too much to handle at once, so they went to a hotel for the night." I nodded, relieved that I get a reprieve, at least for a one night. "Carlisle looked you over a bit before he left. He was too worried to leave without at least making sure you were ok."

I nodded, slowly sitting up a little. Rose took a seat next to me on the lounge chair and followed my line of sight to Charlie.

"What happened after I passed out?"

She chucked a little before answering. "I should have known when calling Charlie and simply saying there is a couple here claiming Anthony as their grandson that he would come here guns blazing. It was something out of a slapstick comedy. I saw you begin to fade, so I went to grab you before you fell out of your chair. Jasper, who is not used to being caught off guard, grabbed for his gun and dove behind the deck railing. Mr. Cullen, who had no clue what was going on, dove for his wife, knocking both of them out of their chairs and spilling their waters all over them."

I turned to look at her in horror. How could I have missed all of this commotion?

"Then your Dad, realizing what just happened yelled out 'Jasper Christopher Hale, you better not have pulled your gun on me, boy!' Jasper just put his gun down and raised his hands looking toward Charlie sheepishly. At that point, I was trying to get you to the lounger and I must have missed some part of the exchange because next thing I know, Charlie is sitting at the table next to Jasper talking to the Cullens."

"Does Charlie know?" I asked frightened. Were they trying to take Anthony from me? Could Charlie stop them?

"Carlisle and Esme gave Charlie the quick version of the story. They left soon after, leaving a packet of information from the private detective, including pictures of Aiden in there." She continued.

"Did you see him?" I asked timidly. I think I was afraid of either answer.

"No, Bella. It didn't feel right looking. You should be the first to see your son." My son? My son! No, my son was Anthony. I felt like I was betraying him for even considering looking at that picture.

Sighing, I looked at Rose, "Did anything else happen?"

"They left pretty quickly. But one odd thing did happen. Esme asked Jasper if he wanted to see a picture of his son. I'm guessing that she was still under the assumption that you were married thus making Aiden his son too. But when Charlie started laughing hysterically, she turned obviously catching on, and asked Charlie if you and Jazz were married. Charlie started laughing harder and made some comment about never giving a guy who pulls a gun on him, permission to marry his only daughter.

"Sensing her relief and confusion, Jasper reintroduced himself with his full name and told her about how we're all friends. At this point I piped in that you would rather have a husband that dives on you, than one who dives for his gun anyway. It relieved the tension and the Cullens left soon after."

"Phew, I'm glad they're gone and we don't have to deal with them ever again!" I said, starting to get up. There was still much to be done before the party. I wanted everything to be perfect for my son's 4th birthday. A small gasp escaped me thinking about another little boy that might be out there somewhere, also celebrating his birthday. But I couldn't let my thoughts go in that direction. My priority is Anthony, my son.

"I hope the dip isn't ruined. How long have we been out here?" I asked Rosalie while starting for the kitchen. I heard Rosalie calling after me, but I just shot her a look that said 'not now'.

"Bells!" My Dad called after me. I just shook my head at him. It wasn't true. There's no point in panicking when it wasn't true. Someone is going to tell me April Fools or something first thing tomorrow. I was getting Punked. Ashton decided that he wants to Punk regular people instead of celebrities. I must have looked crazy, because all I was trying to do was come up with a reason that everything that just happened was a lie.

He must have understood because when he reached me, he hugged me so tight, as a way to tell me that everything was going to be ok. "I'm going to head back to get Anthony. Billy can't watch him for too long because of the wheel chair." I nodded into his chest before letting him go.

"I would like for him to try and get a nap before coming back here," I said as I started into the kitchen. He grabbed my hand before I could get too far. The look he gave me was full of worry, but he just nodded, gave my hand one last squeeze before starting towards the driveway.

"Thanks Daddy." I whispered before turning my back and heading into the kitchen. Everyone seemed to get the idea that the party was still on and we were not going to talk about what just happened.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

We worked in practical silence too busy with our tasks and our thoughts to speak to each other. A couple of hours later, I heard a car pull up and honk three times. It must have been Charlie in an attempt to give us some warning before Anthony came through the door.

I sprinted to the front door ready to greet my son. I barely had the door open and kneeled down when he barreled into me screaming "Moooooooommmmmmmyyyyyyy!"

"There's my birthday boy!" I said cheerfully as I picked him up and started peppering his face with kisses. He just giggled and started patting my cheeks. "I think you're taller. Maybe a little rounder too. And is that a mustache you have growing?" I joked with him. Ever since he asked how old he has to be before he can grow a mustache like Poppa, we like to joke with him about it.

"Really!" He asked with a huge smile on his face and reached toward his lip.

"No not really." I replied tickling him. "I think its just milk."

He squirmed, so I set him down and he ran off to high five his Uncle Jasper and to hug his Aunt Rosalie.

"Tony-Baloney!" she exclaimed. It's been her nickname for him for a couple months or so. She had spent a weekend babysitting him and the only thing he would eat were baloney sandwiches. She called me in a panic at my therapy retreat, thinking she was going to kill him due to malnutrition.

"Nosy Rosie" was his typical reply. I think he's the only one that can get away with calling her Rosie. It started out when they played the 'I got your nose' game where they would grab each other's noses. He said 'I got your nosy, Rosie', and the nickname was born.

"Come on little man, let's go check out this backyard and all the cool party games your Mom planned for you." Jasper declared while picking him up and placing him on his shoulders. The two of them, followed by Rosalie, walked through the patio doors and started toward the lawn.

I heard my son's shrieks of joy at the decorations, games, food and even the funny pictures that were littering the backyard. I sidled up toward the deck railing to just watch the utter joy on his face. I was debating going inside for my camera to capture this moment before Charlie started walking toward me with a pensive expression.

I didn't take my eyes off Rose, Jazz, and Anthony, not wanting to acknowledge what I knew my Dad was thinking about. I did not want to sour my mood or this moment. But I could feel Charlie standing next to me, and his eyes upon me.

"Bells, I know you don't want to hear this," I started to interrupt him, but he stopped me. "Just let me finish, then we can table it till after the party. I looked over the packet of information that the Cullen's investigator found and it looks to be legit." I couldn't believe Charlie's audacity. He thought that just because they say that Anthony might be their Grandson, I'm just going to hand my son over to them?

"So what am I supposed to do? Hand over my son just because two people say he's their blood? I. Don't. Think. So. Call Kate; have her meet us here after the party. They are not getting my son. She's a lawyer, she'll know how to stop them," I hissed.

"And Charlie." I continued turning to face him. He flinched when I called him by his first name but that didn't stop me. "If you won't help me, you should leave now. I need to protect him. HE IS MY SON!" I practically screamed the last bit, but I didn't have time to worry about hurting Charlie's feelings. My priority is my son.

"Bella, please. We haven't even really gotten the full story. Who knows what they are expecting or what will happen."

I cut him off before he could continue. "Anthony!" I called, getting my son's attention from his Aunt and Uncle. "Come see the cake, it turned out exactly as you wanted!" And with that he ran toward me following me inside to the kitchen.

I knew Charlie, Billy, Rosalie and Jasper were talking about the Cullen's news, but we could worry about proving them wrong later. Right now, my son's 4th birthday party is about to start and that should be the only thing on my mind.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

About six hours later, my birthday boy was asleep in my lap. His head was curled into my neck and his breathing was calming me. He had such a good time at his birthday party. He spent most of the time running around playing games with his Uncle Jazz and his friends. The smile that was on his face never faltered until he fell asleep, and even then he still had a small smile gracing his lips.

Overall, I think the party was a huge success. He had about 15 friends there, who were mainly from his playgroup or preschool. Some, like Hannah, were children of my friends. But it turned out to be a nice group of kids, which is hard to say when there are 15 of them running around.

As for adults, I think most of them had more fun than the kids. They were especially giddy when it came to the water fights. The crowd from Forks consisted of my Dad, Billy, Sue Clearwater, Charlie's deputy, Mark and his wife Tina. Jake and Carlie even Skyped in on an iPad and spent most of the party being passed around from person to person and shown the events. The rest of the adult guests, with the exception of the parents of the kids in attendance, were friends of Rose and mine from college. Most of the friends, like Angela Cheney, formally Weber, and Heidi Parks, have been friends with us since freshman year. But when Rosalie joined the swim team later that year, some of her swimmer friends joined our group. James and Demitri King, Victoria Ford, Felix Peterson and Samantha Kane were all on her team and accepted non-athletes like Angela, Heidi and myself into their group of friends. I can't say we've been close with all of them since, but we have all remained in touch since college.

Ben and Angela Cheney, and their little girl Hannah, who just turned 3, were the last ones to leave about an hour ago. Angela, always one to sense when something is wrong, just hugged me tightly and told me she was there if I wanted to talk before picking up her sleeping daughter and heading home. The only people left now are Charlie, Rosalie and Jasper.

We were all sitting around laughing about the party. The epic water gun war was a huge hit among parents and kids alike. In fact, I decided at the last minute to participate. I was not willing to be too far away from Anthony at any point during the day.

Jasper, always looking out for me, was working double time during the fight to make sure I didn't have any clumsy episodes. He was watching Anthony and me, and not where he was going, when he tripped over the water hose and landed on the side of the blow-up water pool, that was set up to refill the water guns. The pool flew in the air, soaking all participants, and somehow declaring us the winners. Unfortunately, he landed on the nozzle of the hose that was in the pool and now has a black eye. On the other hand, Billy got it on video, so we've been watching it on slow motion over and over. I'm relieved for the laughter. But for the most part, the party was a blur.

There were just a few things that I actually took notice of. Charlie getting a piece of cake for Sue before he got one for himself was one. Another memorable moment was when Anthony got all of his friends to chase after me for a hug when they were soaking wet. The 'thanks Mommy' and 'thanks Miss Bella's' were enough to warm my heart. He was also so kind and gracious when opening his gifts. He was the life of the party while still being a little gentleman. And there was my son's smile. It was his full-blown, showing-all-teeth, I'm the happiest little kid on the planet smile. It didn't remind me at all of a smile that I saw on a picture earlier today. Which is just more proof that it can't be true.

The doorbell broke me out of my thoughts. I must have tensed because Jasper, getting up to answer the door, just looked to me and said, "It's my Aunt Kate. Remember we called her earlier?"

I hummed in agreement and let myself relax, still stroking Anthony's back. I heard Jasper opening the door and greeting Kate.

Kate was 12 years older than Rosalie and I, and 8 years older than Jasper. She is their Mother's sister, but she has always been closer to Rose and Jazz than she has been to her sister, Irina.

"Bells, why don't you let me put the little guy down." Charlie asked me, coming over after greeting Kate.

"Thanks Daddy, but I want to do it." We both knew it was my way of avoiding the story that was about to be told. He looked like he wanted to argue, but gave up quickly as I started to stand up, carrying Anthony back to his room.

The jostling must have woken him up because he let go of his grip on my shirt and wound his hands around my neck.

"Mommy, when can I have another party like that?" He asked me groggily.

I chuckled a bit before answering, "Not for a while, Buddy."

"Ok" he sighed. I set him down on his bed and was just about to change him into his jammies when he jumped up, determined to do it himself. My little man was growing up so quickly. One day he won't need me anymore. I was just about to start crying when he climbed onto the bed, curled into my side and looked at me with his big brown eyes. "Thanks Mommy. This was my best birthday party ever!"

"Anytime Anthony. I love you so much, you know that right?" I asked, stroking his wild hair.

"I know Mommy. I love you too."

"Good, now what story does the birthday boy want tonight?"

"Can you sing me my song?"

"Anything for you, Ant," I said as he laid his head back down on my shoulder. And so I sang his song, or the song titled "Your Song" by Elton John. It was a song I sang to him one night when he was about 3 weeks old and would not go to sleep. I can't sing to save my life, so I was afraid that it was only going to make the situation worse, when he started calming down while I was singing. I don't sing it to him often, mostly when he can't sleep or is really upset, but it's always been a favorite of his.

As I sang the last line, 'how wonderful life is now that you're in my world', I know he is asleep, I also know that I am terrified of what my life might be like without him. I want to hide in here with him because I know it would be a while before someone comes to check on me. My world was perfect as long as I had my son in my arms, and walking out this door may change my world, as I know it, forever.

How could anyone think that this boy, the boy who I have held in my arms every night, is not my son? I know my son; I know every mark he has on his body. I know his smiles, and his laughs. I know what his cries mean. And I know how to chase the monsters away. I know my son, this boy in my arms is my son, and I am not going to let anyone tell me differently.

With that thought, I climb out of bed and walk into the living room where my guests are still gathered.

"They took DNA samples when he was born, they would have noticed if Anthony was not my son." I said determined to put this whole day to rest and never think about the Cullens again. "That boy in that room is my child. He is my little boy. My son. I don't care who you have to sue or how much it costs to do it, that other family is not going to take him away from me."

"Bella, we don't know if they tested the DNA like that. They could not find any trace evidence on you when you were admitted to hospital. The only evidence collected after you were found, was your own DNA. I doubt the Police would have run your first samples against the samples collected after giving birth. There wouldn't be any point. And when they took new samples after the birth, no one would have even considered that the DNA collected from Anthony was not going to be a match to yours. We don't even know if they ran Anthony's DNA against yours. There would be no point. All that would prove was that the baby was yours and that was already a given. Plus we don't know if they took the second DNA samples before or after the switch took place. There are just too many unknown variables." Jasper said. I narrowed my eyes at him, whose side is he on.

"Jasper's right, Bells. That's definitely something we'll have to figure out. From what I can tell from the information that the Cullens left, they don't know how the switch occurred, just that it happened. The boys were switched," my dad continued.

"No!" I said. I did not want to pursue this further. It didn't matter what they said or what they thought, that boy is my son. "Anthony is my child."

"Bella, I know you may not want to hear this, and I'm just as terrified as you, but what if they are telling you the truth." Rosalie said, trying to reason with me.

Except, I was not going to be reasoned with. I am his mother, I know my son. All the while there was a voice in the back of my head that was shouting at me to remember the picture. It wanted me to think about that other little boy, living on the other side of the country. But I still did not want to believe anything that the Cullens had told me.

"If you are not going to stand by me in this, than you can leave now." I hissed, narrowing my eyes at each of them. "They are NOT taking my son."

"Bella, sweetie." Kate said, getting up and coming closer to me. She took my hands, which I hadn't realized were balled into fists, and held them within hers. "We have to look into this to make sure they are telling you the truth. If only to protect you and Anthony, we need to know. I am going to fight for you and Anthony with everything I have, but we need to know. And we need to meet with the Cullens to determine what they want."

I wanted to argue with her. I never wanted to see them again, but she continued before I could interrupt. "I love your boy, just like Charlie, Rosalie and Jasper do, and we are not going to let anything happen to him. I'm not going to lie, we may have a fight on our hands if it is true, but none of us are going to let them take your son."

Aunt Kate's acknowledgement that Anthony is my son let me breathe the first sigh of relief since I saw that picture, the picture of the 4-year-old Anthony look-a-like. My son did look a lot like the boy in that picture. As the tension left my body a little, the thought that I had not let myself hear all day finally came to my mind – what about Aiden?

* * *

**A/N. Say it with me now – DENIAL. Don't flame me too much – her thoughts were all over the place, so this chapter was all over the place. Bella could never just accept this right away. It might be a couple chapters until she fully accepts the truth, and even a couple more chapters until we meet Edward. **

**I know I said the last chapter that I would be posting the first 5 chapters or so before deciding to continue or not – well, I'm definitely going to continue. Only I scrapped the 4 other chapters that I did have written when I posted the last chapter. There were things that I didn't like, things that didn't really make sense. Plus there were things that my sister said I was making too confusing and way too difficult to understand. So, I've reworked the outline, and rewritten these chapters. Your reviews and encouragement only help make me type faster, so keep them coming!**

**I'll do my best to reply to each of the reviews, but I can only do that if you sign in.**


	3. Chapter 3: Anger and Answers

**You guys rock! Thanks for all of the great reviews! Someone asked if I was planning any EPOV, well not at this point. If I change my mind, you'll be the first to know.**

**Please be kind if you find some errors. And if anyone is willing to be a pre-reader/beta or knows someone who would be willing – PM me! **

**The usual disclaimer – the plot is mine. Anything else that you might recognize is not. I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just borrowed her characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

_Previously on Raising my Son …_

_Aunt Kate's acknowledgement that Anthony is my son let me breathe the first sigh of relief since I saw that picture, the picture of the 4-year-old Anthony look-a-like. My son did look a lot like the boy in that picture. As the tension left my body a little, the thought that I had not let myself hear all day finally came to my mind – what about Aiden? _

* * *

Chapter 3 – Releasing the Anger and Getting Some Answers

By the time everyone had left for the night, I was calmer. We have a plan. It's not a figure it out as we go plan either. We all have tasks and responsibilities. Jasper was going to get us a private detective of our own to look into this. My dad actually knew of someone reputable, so Jasper didn't have to do much but meet with him or her and figure out what they need to get the ball rolling.

Anthony and I were going to go get a DNA test done. Kate had called in a favor with one of her college friends who worked in a lab, so we were going first thing Monday morning and they were going to put a rush on the results.

Rosalie was in charge of calling the Cullens and holding them off until we had more information of our own. I couldn't trust the word of a stranger just because they had a picture of a boy who looked like my son. She has asked if I wanted her to meet with them about their expectations, should this all turn out to be true, but I said no. If it turns out that Anthony is not my biological son, then I would have to be strong enough to face his biological family myself. I could get through this; I just had to keep telling myself that.

Charlie was going to work with Detectives Austin Marks and Lee Stevens, who were assigned to my case all those years ago. Because the case had no suspects, no leads, and no hope of being solved, or so it seemed of being, this development shouldn't change much. Charlie was going to talk to them privately before we go on record, after the DNA testing is done. They should at least know what happened so the case files and collected DNA can be updated, if need be.

Kate was planning on working through the legal things on her end while we were busy with our tasks. She said that no matter what the results were, it was better to be on the offensive side of things. She and my dad talked through the specifics, but when she started speaking Legalese, my eyes went cross.

We have a plan and we are going to get through this. I just had to keep telling myself that.

I spent a little time after everyone left cleaning up, although most of it was done after the party. I then spent at least an hour watching Anthony sleep. I was blessed with a child who could sleep through just about anything. And he loves to sleep.

I remember taking him to the doctor when he was only a couple months old, scared because he was sleeping so much. It felt like I was always waking him to eat. All of the books I read, and the forums I took part in online, said babies didn't sleep through the night until they're about 9 months old, and Anthony was only 4. Granted it was only about 6 to 7 hours a night, but I was still overly concerned.

I remember Dr. Gerandy looked at me, took my hand with a serious expression on his face, and just smiled. He said, "I wouldn't say that too loud, Ms. Swan. Most of the mothers in the waiting room would give anything for one night of the sleep which you are complaining about." He continued after seeing my still confused expression, "just consider yourself lucky. Anthony is fine, his development is perfectly on track, he's just one of the few babies that sleep very well."

I smiled at the memory. But my smile fell as a new train of thought entered my mind. Was Aiden a good sleeper? Did he keep his mom up throughout the night when he was 4 months old? I wanted to know more, but I was afraid of letting my thoughts travel too much before I had one hundred percent undeniable proof in my hands.

I still wasn't sure how I felt about the whole situation. So I'm trying not to feel too much. Because when I let myself feel, the variety of emotions is too overwhelming. This whole situation has me in a state of shock. I'm terrified of what the truth might be. I'm wary of any agenda that the Cullen's might have in terms of my son. I'm feeling grief about another little boy who might be mine, who has lived four years and whom I know absolutely nothing about. But most of all, I'm feeling an overwhelming amount of anger that I am in this situation at all.

Trying not to let any of these emotions consume me, I head to my bedroom for the night. I also mentally add to the plan to call Dr. Siobban O'Connor, my therapist, for an emergency appointment.

Looking into the bathroom mirror, I say the words out loud that I'm hoping might help me sleep, "We have a plan and we were going to get through this."

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

I tried to sleep. I promise I did try. It took me forever to calm myself down enough to relax, let alone try to fall asleep. However, as soon as I was relaxed, my mind started wandering. I saw a faceless little boy, who looked to be about Anthony's age, frantically screaming for his Mommy. I didn't know who his mom was, but as soon as I thought I was close enough, I couldn't comfort him because I had Anthony locked in my arms and I was refusing to let go. Then no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get close enough to this other boy to reach out and touch him.

The screaming of the little boy woke me with a start. I tried relaxing again. This time I turned on the white noise machine that Dr. O'Connor suggested all those years ago. I usually have it turned to the rain setting, which in Seattle isn't always necessary. The sounds of the rain lulled me into a relaxed state once again.

This time I started dreaming of Anthony running around, laughing and happy as he ran into the arms of a man who looked to be his twin, just older. Anthony hugged the man before saying "I love you Daddy." It was then that the faceless boy came back, this time being carried by a woman whose back was turned to me. Anthony ran to her and she crouched down and hugged both of the boys at once. Anthony looked toward her face and patted her cheeks, like he always did to me, and said, "I love you Mommy."

I woke with a start again, this time angry with the man and the woman in my dreams for taking my son away from me.

I was unable to get my brain to calm down or my heart to stop racing after that dream. I was too afraid to close my eyes to try to sleep again. So, I got up and started cleaning the bedroom. After the bedroom was clean, I went out and re-cleaned the living room. And then I cleaned out the fridge. When that was done, I clean out the freezer.

After the freezer was relatively empty, I realize that I liked to always have a couple meals available to just thaw and eat, so I start cooking. I start making two different kinds of meatloaf – one with beef and one with turkey. Since I still had ground meat leftover, I then make meatballs.

When those were done, it is only 3 in the morning and I'm still not ready to go back to bed. So I start my slow cooker with some pulled pork for sandwiches the next day. Pulled pork sandwiches always go well with a tortilla soup, so I start making that as well.

While everything was simmering, I decided to start making one of Anthony's favorite meals. He has always loved my Chicken Lasagna. I had started cooking the chicken when I realized that I was running low on shredded mozzarella. Panicking, I search through the refrigerator. Because of my job, I tend to keep an overabundance of food available, so I don't have to make frequent trips to the store. In fact, I have two additional refrigerators in my garage.

Thinking about the additional food in the garage, I remember the blocks of mozzarella I have stored out there for this week's meals. I could just grate some in preparation for this week's recipes and be done with it.

So I start my preparations. I grate the mozzarella. I also decide to grate some Parmesan as well. I chop the peppers. My mind starts to wander because I can chop red and green peppers in my sleep. And when those are done, I chop the mushrooms. The sound of the knife repeatedly hitting the cutting board turns into white noise again and I start thinking about all the things I don't want to think about. I then chop the onions. I'm starting to get tired, and chopping onions always makes me tear up, but I can't stop. The chicken finishes in the meantime, so I take it off the burner and chop the chicken. I know I have tears streaming down my face because of the onion, and this causes all of the other emotions I've been trying to avoid to surface. I'm cooking to avoid these emotions, and I know it. And when the last little bit of chicken is done, I look down at my hands and all I see is red.

There is blood everywhere. The emotion that boiled up to the surface earlier when I was chopping was pain. And not pain from the events of the day, but pain because I was too lost in my own head to realize that I have multiple cuts in my left hand.

I drop everything and reach for some kitchen towels. Breathing through my mouth to avoid smelling the blood, I try to wash it off under the faucet but there's too much. Glancing at the clock, it is 5:03 am and I realize that I have no choice but to call for help and thankfully there's one person that I know is always awake by 5 am.

I reach for the phone, grateful that Rosalie set up my speed dial years ago and call Jasper.

"Hello," he answers a little groggily but awake.

"I need you to come over. I've cut myself and there's a lot of blood."

"I'm on my way, but keep talking. Tell me what happened," he replies rapidly.

"I was chopping, got lost in my head and cut myself, it looks like 2 or 3 times. I think one of them is really deep too, so I might need stitches," I told him feeling defeated. I just feel like this whole day has defeated me.

"I'll call Rosalie."

"No, don't bother Rose. You can help me get cleaned up, then I can drive myself to the hospital," I said. I don't want to bother anyone else this early in the morning, I just need someone to stay with Anthony while I go to the ER.

"Why don't you let me decide if you can drive yourself to the hospital or not once I get there?" he compromised. If I was being honest with myself, I knew that some of these cuts were worse than I thought.

But I was ashamed.

This is what I do - I cook. You don't see professional chefs cutting themselves, because they know better. It would be like saying that a professional swimmer drowned because they didn't know how to swim.

"Fine." I sighed. If I know Jasper, he was going to call Rosalie as soon as I got off the phone with him anyway. Then once he realized that my cuts were bad and I shouldn't be driving, she would miraculously show up quicker than usual and just walk in the door saying something witty about there being no traffic or something.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

About an hour later, I was sitting on a hospital bed with Jasper standing watch over me with wary eyes. When he had showed up, it played out exactly as I expected. He walked into the room saw my hands and didn't even bother to cover up the fact that he had already called Rosalie by telling me she would be there in 10 minutes.

He switched the towels that I had wrapped around my hands and walked into the kitchen to start cleaning up. I was grateful for that, because I didn't want Anthony to wake up and get scared at the sight of blood everywhere.

As soon as the lights to Rosalie's car pulled up, we were out the door. With only a kiss to the cheek from her to me in passing, Jasper and I took off.

I spent the whole car ride staring out the window, trying to keep my emotions at bay. I couldn't tell if a panic attack was coming, or if I was feeling so angry at the world I was going to burst, but I was trying to stay calm. Dr. O'Connor had taught me many techniques over the years to stay calm and not panic, and so far they were working.

I was in a daze for the whole drive to the hospital, in fact I barely remember arriving or checking into the ER. Luckily, it was almost completely empty and we were shown right into an exam room.

Jasper and I have barely spoken since we left my house. I was just about to talk to him about adding an appointment with Dr. O'Connor to plan, when the door swung open and a young guy walked in wearing scrubs and a lab coat.

"Ms. Swan?" he inquired. After my nod he continued. "I'm Dr. Fuller. It says here that you cut your hand?" He said, moving closer and pulling up a chair near my bed.

"She had a tough day yesterday and cooking is her outlet, so she spent the night cooking. She must have cut herself chopping," Jasper replied. I shot him an irritated look for answering for me.

My doctor must have done the same, but his reply voiced the words I was thinking.

"I would prefer it, sir, if she replied for herself."

"He's right. Between the grating and the chopping, I really did a number on my hands." I said unraveling the towels that have been wound around my hands.

"You sure did," he replied studying my right hand where my knuckles were raw from the grater. "These don't look like they'll need stitches, but they'll probably be more painful because of their placement."

I shot Jasper an annoyed look for bringing me here since I didn't need stitches but before I could start yelling, the doctor continued.

"Although this hand, you'll need quite a few on a couple different cuts," he said surveying my left hand. I turned to look, sucking a breath in through my teeth. I'd done my best not to look too closely until the point, too afraid that I would pass out. For some reason I've never felt queasy with Anthony's blood or cuts, but my own, they always make me nauseous.

There were deep cuts on both my thumb and pointer finger that would most likely need stitches. But the deepest wound was in the fleshy area between the thumb and pointer finger.

"How did you cut yourself this many times this badly and not feel it?" Dr. Fuller inquired.

"I tend to get into my own head when cooking. It's something that comes second nature to me, I didn't even notice," I answered feeling a little shamed and still not wanting to admit I'm a chef.

He nodded at me, placing my hands back down on the bed table in front of me.

"I'm going to go get all of the supplies I need to take care of your hands," Dr. Fuller told me stepping out of the room.

I turned to look at Jasper hating the worry that I saw in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jazz. I should have been paying better attention."

"Bells, if I had known you weren't ok, I never would have left," he sighed at me, turning to stroke my hair since he couldn't hold my hand.

"I spent most of yesterday in denial about what _they_ told me, Jazz. And you all recognized that and pulled me out of it. We formulated a plan, and we all know how much I like plans. So I did feel ok when you left. But the silence got to be too much. The thoughts and later the dreams just started driving me crazy. And these emotions…" I started.

"Bella, maybe…"

"No, you don't have to tell me," I sighed. "I already added scheduling an emergency appointment with Dr. O'Connor. I wasn't supposed to see her for another three weeks now that I'm on the once monthly schedule, but after she hears what is going on, she'll fit me in." He smiled a little at that news, probably feeling a little relieved at me coming to the realization that she could help me all on my own.

"I'm just so afraid, Jazz. He's my son. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, the best thing that I ever did with my life. And someone might be trying to take him away from me. And even if they're not, that means there's another boy out there that shares my DNA. I feel so many emotions about this that I don't even know where to start processing all of it," I finished, completely satisfied that I was finally able to put into words what I was feeling. It wasn't all that I was feeling, but at least I had words for most of it.

"I know darlin'. We'll get through this," he replied. There wasn't much else to say. Just then Dr. Fuller and a nurse came back through the door and Jasper went back to the plastic chair next to the bed.

"Can you call and check on Anthony for me? He's usually up by now." I asked Jasper. He nodded and left me alone to get my hands fixed.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

The doctor ended up using skin glue to close the cuts and covered them with special medical tape. The doctor also gave me a small sample bottle of a spray bandage to use to ensure the cuts stayed clean and dry. He said that because of the location of the cuts and frequent use of the hand, the glue would be a better option than stitches. He also warned me not to pick at the glue, just allow it to dissolve over time. They also wanted me to keep the cuts covered with the cloth surgical tape until the glue dissolved.

It's about 8:15 by now, and I was looking forward to getting home and possibly going out to breakfast with Anthony. Jasper and Rosalie would likely come along because of the painkiller that the doctor gave me, plus I have been up all night. They'll probably also stay for a couple of hours while I sleep a little. But for the time being, I was just sitting on a chair, by the main check in area, waiting for Jasper to get the car. I would have gone with him except it's pouring down rain, we didn't have an umbrella and Jasper didn't want my bandages to get wet.

We really lucked out yesterday with a warm, sunny day in March for Anthony's birthday party.

I was just about to walk towards the door when it swung open and a very pregnant woman came barreling through. I looked around and my breath caught in my throat when I realized that I had been in a very similar scene, almost four years ago.

I had been home alone when I realized I was in labor, and since Rosalie, who was my roommate at the time, was teaching a class, I decided to catch a cab to the hospital and call her on the way. I knew if I called right then, she'd walk out of her class to come home to take me to the hospital. Since she could get in trouble and I'd likely be in labor for a while, I didn't see the harm.

Right after I walked through those doors, a pretty bad contraction had hit, and I bent in half in pain. But remembering those moments, I realized that it was those exact doors where I had walked through. It was this exact hospital that I had my baby. And all of those emotions that I had managed to keep at bay for most of the night hit me like a wrecking ball.

Oh no. That poor woman here is here at Northwest Hospital, just like I was. She's here alone with no one to protect her baby.

I jumped up to her rescue, reaching for her hand, helping her walk.

"Ma'am. Ma'am! Are you ok?" I asked starting to feel a little frantic. "You should go to another hospital!" I said low, so that no one would hear me. "You can't stay here. They'll switch your baby. They don't keep track of the babies. Yours could get switched. You can't stay here! Your baby! YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOUR BABY!" I was screaming now. But so was she, and I don't think she could hear me.

I had to try again. She couldn't let anything happen to her baby. "You don't understand. It seems as if my son was switched at birth, at this very hospital, four years ago. You have to go somewhere else."

She must have been having a contraction, and she couldn't hear me over her pain. Two nurses were coming close to us now, and I had to warn her again before they could get to her! She had to protect her baby.

"They might have switched my baby!" I screamed. For a second, it seemed as if everyone anywhere near us stopped to stare at me.

"Bella, leave her alone," Jasper said reaching me at the same time the two nurses reached the pregnant woman. I was relieved that Jasper was here. He could help me protect this woman and her baby.

"Jazz! She has to change hospitals. This is where it happened. She has to protect her baby. They could switch them just like they did mine." I was frantic now, but I kept going. This was the hospital where it all happened.

Before I knew it, he was sitting next to me on the couch hugging me tightly attempting to soothe me and calm me down.

"Isabella Marie Swan. We don't know what happened. We don't even know if the boys were switched. I know you're angry. Hell, I'm angry, too. But you have to calm down. I promise you this, we will get to the bottom of what happened. And if your son was switched at birth, I will put you in a room with everyone responsible so you have some place to release all of that anger." I let out a small little sob at his words. He's right. "Because taking it out on a woman in labor is just insane. And you have to believe that no matter what happens, everything will work out."

I just felt so angry at this hospital. They were supposed to take care of me and protect me. If what the Cullen's say is true, then they didn't protect my baby.

"Bella?" a timid voice next to me asked. I felt Jasper stiffen in my arms, but I turned my head to see who called my name.

"Esme?"

I stood up and took a step toward the woman in front of me. I was close to falling to my knees, but I knew that I had to remain strong.

"Please, don't take my son from me," I sobbed.

"Oh honey, that's not why we wanted to tell you," she said stepping forward and pulling me into a hug. The fact that she was being so caring, so motherly, and so reassuring was the final straw that made me let everything out. All of the tears and emotions and fears that I had been feeling for the past day, I let it all out in her arms.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

After crying together for about fifteen minutes on the couch in the lobby, we walked across the street to the diner for some breakfast. I was in no shape to be home with my son right now, and I think I could finally get some sleep if I talked with Esme and Carlisle for a bit. If we could at least keep things civil between them, then maybe it would help us in the long run.

While Esme and I were crying, Jasper had apparently spoken with a hospital representative about the incident. They were concerned about me, and wanted more information about what I was saying. I'm not completely sure what was said but I'm sure he'll fill me in later.

Esme, Jasper and I slid into a booth and ordered some coffee.

"So, Esme, what brings you to the hospital today?" Jasper asked.

"Carlisle is a good friend with the Chief of Staff and was asked to consult on a patient," she replied. "He'll join us shortly. I called him while you were on the phone with Rosalie," she continued looking at me.

"So you didn't just come to Seattle to talk to me?" I asked.

"No dear," she replied. "We had been working up the nerve to tell our son, Edward, for a couple weeks. We thought that the request for a consult was a sign that we should track down the other family involved first. Try to find something more concrete to take back to Edward. Most of the families were still in the area, so we decided to theoretically kill two birds with one stone."

"Oh," I nodded.

"Plus, we realize that this news is better delivered in person." After that statement, we ordered our meals. Esme ordered for Carlisle seeing that he should be here any minute. "Perfect timing!" Esme exclaimed getting up from her seat.

"Hello again, Bella, Jasper," Carlisle said coming over to sit in our booth.

"That didn't take long," Esme said, turning to look at her husband.

"I had a chance to look over the chart last night, so all I needed to do was to order some labs. We have some time before they're completed and then I should head back over," He replied before turning to look at me. "Are your hands ok, Bella?"

"Some vegetables and I got into a knife fight and they won," I replied, looking a little apologetic after my statement. My sarcastic nature really comes out when I'm tired. But the Cullens didn't seem to mind. They just chuckled, sitting back in their seats a little easier.

Would they be thinking that I'm a bad mother because I accidentally cut myself?

"We keep a suture kit in the kitchen at home for Esme. She has a tendency to cut herself or burn her wrists on the oven about once a month," Carlisle replied. Whether it was true or not, it put me a little at ease.

"How long are you in town for?" Jasper asked. It was a relatively harmless question in this awkward situation.

"Just a few days, Jasper. Our Grandson's birthday is on Wednesday and there isn't anything that could keep us away," Esme replied with a little smile on her face.

Jasper was just about to continue when I interrupted him, "You still think of him as your Grandson?" I asked timidly. I already knew the answer to the question I asked, but I truly felt as if I needed to hear the answer out loud.

Esme looked a little taken aback. "Of course," she gasped. "Bella, you didn't think that just because we found out that Aiden, the wonderful little boy that we know as our Grandson, was switched at birth, and our biological Grandson was out there somewhere, that we love Aiden any less?"

"I'm sorry, Esme. I really don't know what to think. I'm all-over-the-place. I love my son. I. Love. My. Son. I've loved him no matter who his father is. And I'll love him no matter who his mother is. I'm just so confused," I said. Jasper put his arm around me and pulled me to his side.

"Bella, I can completely relate. We've known about this for a while, so we've had longer to process everything. There were times after we found out that we wished we never knew," Carlisle said.

"But, there were also times, when we realized that our heart grew so much after finding out there was someone else out there we could love and call family," Esme finished. "There were times that we almost didn't say anything. He is our Grandson and it didn't matter if he isn't our blood, he is our Grandson." I nodded, knowing exactly what she was feeling.

"We also realized that no matter what happened, we just wanted the opportunity to know our other Grandson. That's all," Esme said.

"We thought you might also like the opportunity to know Aiden. How that happens is up to you and Edward," Carlisle continued. "We're telling him next weekend after Aiden's birthday."

"We should know more then also," Jasper interrupted. "We decided to have some DNA testing of our own done too."

"Of course you should!" Carlisle exclaimed. "I'd never take the word of some strangers about something this important."

I let out a breath I was holding, relieved about my worries. They weren't here to take my son away from me. They just wanted to get to know him. And maybe, I could have the opportunity to get to know Aiden too. Just then our food arrived and we started eating in silence.

"I should tell you something, though," Carlisle started, after taking a few bites of his omelet. "My father, who was also named Edward, died suddenly just shy of a year ago now."

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," Jasper said. Having lost his own father about 10 years ago, he was always compassionate about the loss of a parent.

"Thank you, Jasper," Carlisle acknowledged before continuing. "We had an autopsy done because it was so sudden. The medical examiner found that he had a hereditary disorder called Hemochromatosis." I gasped, afraid of where this conversation was going. "He had started showing signs of fatigue and Parkinson's in the months prior to his disease, but everyone was attributing it to growing old. But anyway, since this is hereditary, everyone in the family needed to be tested. I am an only child, so it was just, me, my sons, and Aiden that needed the tests."

"Is it only found in males?" Jasper asked.

"No, but our daughter is adopted," Esme answered for him.

"That is what led us to the discovery that Aiden is not related to us biologically," Carlisle finished before picking up his fork to continue his meal.

"Thankfully, no one else was found with the gene, but you should know so you can get Anthony tested," Esme said looking up at us from her plate. "If I'm being perfectly honest with you Bella, it was the one thing that made us sure we needed to tell you about the switch. We thought you should know, just in case there is a problem."

Great, so now am I not only worrying about my son being switched at birth, but I have to add a potential genetic disorder onto that. I felt tears form in my eyes as I looked away.

"Can I ask how serious it is?" Jasper inquired, voicing the worries that were in my head

It was Dr. Cullen answering this time, "As with any disease, there is always risk. But if your son is affected, we're catching it very early. It's basically an overload of iron in the body. Excesses of iron can cause a variety of problems including arthritis, diabetes, heart and liver problems. Depending of the severity of the condition, it can be managed with relatively minor diet and lifestyle changes. There may also be some minor treatments required to keep his iron levels down or possibly medication. But Bella, although there is no cure, I want you to know that your son should be just fine. It is just better to know sooner rather than later whether or not your son has it.

Carlisle must have seen the distress on my face, because he reached across the table to my hand that was bunched in a fist and hurting my cuts. "Bella, I don't want you to worry. It's something that's completely treatable if they know about it. Besides, it's highly unlikely that the gene is there since neither myself nor my son has it." I turned to look at him, needing to see in his eyes that he was telling the truth. "My father lived eighty-two years before anyone ever had an inkling of this disorder. Everything will be just fine. Even if the tests come out positive, he has a mother that loves him so much. You'll get him through this Bella.

"Just let the lab technician know when getting the tests."

"Kill two birds with one stone." I murmured, exhausted but ready to go home and spend the day with my son.

* * *

**A/N. **

**I got the genetic disorder from Grey's Anatomy (I don't own Grey's either). If anything is wrong, blame them. I'm not a doctor (nor are they, but you get the point). I also got the additional information from Wikipedia. If anyone does have this, I mean no offense if I got anything wrong. **

**I also don't want anyone to worry about Anthony and this disorder. You'll find out next chapter, but a little teaser – he doesn't have it. I'm pretty sure that unless the father has the gene, then it is not passed down, but I needed a reason for the genetic testing. And this worked out best. I also might have been watching Grey's when working on the outline for this story.**

**I'm hoping I haven't lost anyone. I've had some reviews about people really not liking Bella. I hope you'll all stick with me. Now that she knows they're not trying to take her son away from her, she'll be better. I do have everything planned out, and starting next chapter the annoying, all-over-the-place Bella should be over, or at least close to it. She's just going through a lot right now, but she's working through it.**

**No promises on updating next week, I'm out of town. Like always, I'll do my best.**

**Please review! They totally make my day!**


	4. Chapter 4: More Answers

**AN Sorry this chapter took a little longer than expected. I knew where I wanted the characters to go; I was just having problems actually getting them there.**

**This is the edited version of this chapter. If it is something you have already read, most of the changes were grammatical, so feel free to skip it!**

**The usual disclaimer – the plot is mine. Anything else that you might recognize is not. I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just borrowed her characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

_Previously on Raising my son …_

_Carlisle must have seen the distress on my face, because he reached across the table to my hand that was bunched in a fist and hurting my cuts. "Bella, I don't want you to worry. It's something that's completely treatable if they know about it. Besides, it's highly unlikely that the gene is there since neither myself nor my son has it." I turned to look at him, needing to see in his eyes that he was telling the truth. "My father lived eighty-two years before anyone ever had an inkling of this disorder. Everything will be just fine. Even if the tests come out positive, he has a mother that loves him so much. You'll get him through this Bella._

_"Just let the lab technician know when getting the tests."_

_"Kill two birds with one stone." I murmured, exhausted but ready to go home and spend the day with my son._

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Answers**

The next couple days flew by faster than you would believe.

Jasper and I didn't stay much longer at the diner after Carlisle told us about the genetic disorder. The conversation was a little stunted. Esme did, however, work in the words 'your son' when referring to Anthony at least 3 times. I think she understood my fears, because I was grateful for the reassurance that they were not trying to take my son away from me.

We said goodbye, as it was unlikely that we would see them before they left for Chicago. Jasper told Carlisle that someone would be in touch after the DNA results came back. I think he was trying to kindly say 'don't call us, we'll call you', without actually saying the words.

As soon as I got home Sunday morning, I took a nap. Thankfully, I was too tired to dream.

I woke about 2 hours later with Anthony curled up next to me. I welcomed the cuddles for a while because I really missed hanging out with the little man this morning.

After a few quiet minutes of watching my son sleep, I figured I should go get some things done. I thought since Anthony was napping and I was home, Rosalie and Jasper would have headed to their own homes, but I was surprised to hear them as I neared the living room.

"Do you think she'll be ok?" I heard Rosalie ask. The fact that they were talking about me had me stopping in my tracks.

"Rose, four years ago just proves that she's stronger than we realize," Jasper said.

"I know but …" she started. It sounded like she took a deep breath before continuing. "My emotions are all over the place. I've just settled on disbelief for the time being. I'm not saying that it's completely impossible that two babies got switched at birth. I just can't believe that it happened."

"I know what you mean. But if the test is positive, then I don't think this will change anything about Bella's relationship with Anthony. I can't imagine being Bella though, and having to go about your day knowing that your own flesh and blood is out there, in the world, living life and you're not a part of it."

"Would you want to be a part of it?" Rosalie asked. I had to walk in the room at that moment, I didn't want to talk about this further until we had the results.

"Thanks for this morning, guys," I said, walking into the room. Rosalie and Jasper jumped a little and looked guilty. I imagine that they thought their conversation had been overheard, but I didn't want to bring anything up.

"Anytime, sweetie," Rosalie said, moving over on the couch to make room for me. "How are you feeling?"

"I could sleep some more, but I don't want my schedule to get off. But other than that, I'm feeling pretty good."

"That's good, Bells! What changed?" Jasper asked. Seeing me go off on a pregnant woman this morning must have made him wary of a quick turnaround.

"When I was getting ready to nap, I remembered something Dr. O'Connor said to me once. Remember when I was too afraid to order take out or drink anything that didn't come out of a closed bottle?" I asked, when my friends nodded, I continued. "All of those times I just kept saying – what if. What if the food or drink was laced with something? I got so scared that I was afraid to leave the house. She just looked at me and said 'you can what if yourself to death or you can prepare yourself for life'. You can't prepare for everything, but you can prepare yourself for the possibility of anything."

"That's a good quote," Rosalie commented, mostly to herself.

"Instead of thinking everyone was out to get me, it helped me be stronger and more prepared. And it also made me realize that in times like this, there's no point in what if-ing yourself to death when we'll probably have the answer in a week."

"That's what makes you such a good planner," Jasper observed.

"I think the thing that is driving me most crazy is the uncertainty. There really is no planning in this situation. And I can't really make any plans until I know the truth."

And with that, the conversation was dropped. We stayed and gossiped about Victoria's ridiculously expensive gift for Anthony yesterday. Always one to flaunt her wealth, Victoria bought Anthony a rare 1980's GI Joe figurine. He did get really excited, and took it out of the box and started playing with it immediately. She looked like there should have been steam coming out of her ears and her eyes shot toward mine. But what did she expect? He's a kid and it's a toy.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

On Monday morning, Anthony and I went to get the DNA tests done. I spent most of the morning trying to figure out what to tell him about why he needed to have his blood drawn. In the end, it was all for nothing as all they did was swab the inside of our cheeks. The lab technician told him that it was a new cool way to check to see if you're healthy. He just shrugged his shoulders and asked for a lollypop.

Anthony spent the rest of the day at his pre-school class. I debated a long time on whether or not to enroll him because I'm a work-from-home mom. In the end, I realized that since I only had one friend with a child, Angela, I wanted him to have the interaction with other kids that is so important in the early years. I had told myself last fall when he started that if he didn't like it, it'd keep him home. But he loved it. There were mornings on the weekends when he would cry because he couldn't go.

A boy who loves school, he is definitely my son.

After dropping Anthony off, I had an appointment with Dr. O'Connor. I saw her stunned into silence for the first time ever after I told her what happened over the weekend. We talked a little and she reminded me that I could call her any time for help.

I spent the rest of the day working in the kitchen. I was able to get a little ahead for the week.

Tuesday passed like any other normal day at our house. Anthony and I woke up, ate breakfast, then he told me about what he learned yesterday. Today, he was happy coloring and practicing writing his name while I was preparing the grocery list for the rest of the week. We were going to use the pictures he was coloring as thank you notes for his birthday gifts he received this weekend. Since he couldn't really write yet, I would be writing the notes, but he always signed his name and colored everyone their own pictures.

While he was in school, I stopped by the grocery store for some minor necessities and went to Costco for the large items to prepare the meals for my clients. I also had to pick up the rest of the ingredients to make cupcakes for Anthony's birthday tomorrow. He would want to bring cupcakes to pre-school for all his friends.

On Wednesday morning, I woke up well before the sun. All I could think about was my son's birthday. There's something about his birthday that always makes me reminisce about giving birth to him. Today's memories were a little different. I'm thinking about it with new eyes. I'm trying to go over everything to rationalize the possibility that he was switched at birth.

Kate had called and said that the results were going to be ready by Thursday, so I vowed to keep it off my mind for the sake of my son.

And that's exactly what we did. We celebrated the birth of my son.

Once Anthony woke up, he ate his breakfast of four pancakes with a candle on top. Then he helped me decorate his birthday cupcakes. Actually, I think he just enjoyed the icing a little too much. Plus he was deciding, while putting them into the carrier, which cupcake was for which of his friends. Amie got the pretty red one because it was her favorite color. Mark got the blue one because he likes when it makes his tongue turn blue. He went on and on. It almost made me cry how thoughtful he was in making sure everyone at his pre-school would get a cupcake that they would like. He even had me leave the icing off one of them because Miss Wendy was on a diet. He was such a thoughtful boy.

I took him to his pre-school and stayed while they sang to him. He took such joy in handing out his cupcakes. I think most kids his age would just want to go straight for the cupcake, but he made sure everyone had theirs before picking his up. His brown eyes sparkled up at me as he mumbled 'thanks Mommy' as I was walking out the door. I wanted to reprimand him for talking with his mouth full, but the moment was too sweet.

After picking him up from pre-school, I took him to get his final present. One of Rosalie's swimmers is going to give Anthony piano lessons for a little extra college money. We stopped at home so he could open up the keyboard that I got him and then I took him to meet her. He was so incredibly excited with his gift. We ended up staying longer than expected with Sarah, so we stopped to get some dinner on the way home.

Then he spent the rest of the night trying to find the perfect place to set up his new keyboard. He even thought it was cooler than a regular piano, because he could move it around easily. I was thankful for his enthusiasm, because I could not afford a regular piano.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Thursday came around quickly. It is the day we would go and get the results. I had considered waiting to get the results; in fact it is all I thought about after Anthony went to bed last night. But certain thoughts kept creeping into my mind. Did Aiden have a good birthday? Did he have cupcakes or a cake? Was it homemade? What gifts did he get? And so on.

Since reading wasn't helping, I tried to keep my mind off of the situation by thinking about Anthony's birth. Then the questions started again. I know I saw my little boy right after I gave birth to him, but I didn't get to hold him until about an hour later because I passed out. So, if the boys were switched in that time, did I ever get to hold the son I gave birth to?

All I know is that the results, whatever they may be, will not change how I feel about Anthony. He is my son, my little boy, and my life. He is, without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to me.

I think I put it best when I told Jasper and Rosalie that the uncertainty is the hardest part to deal with. Whatever the outcome is, I can deal with it. I'm just not sure how much longer I can deal with all of these unknowns.

And with the determination that no matter what the results are I will not let this adversely affect Anthony's life, I get out of bed ready to face the day.

Three hours later, Jasper, Rosalie and I are sitting in Kate's office waiting for her to get out of a meeting. My father wanted to be here, but he had to work a shift, so we're going to Skype him in. Anthony was spending the morning with Angela and Hannah. Angela works as a book editor, so she has the availability to spend a lot of time at home too. If one of us had a meeting or something to do, we would often watch the kids for the other. It was a great arrangement. Rosalie doesn't have any morning classes on Thursdays, and Jasper, well, he's the boss and can determine his own hours so there is always someone available to babysit, or kid-sit as we have to say to avoid the "I'm not a baby" comebacks.

We had only been waiting about 20 minutes when Kate waltzed into the room. Since we were family, thus not a real 'paying' client, Kate's been known to keep us waiting, so 20 minutes was nothing to complain about.

She sat down at her desk after hugging and kissing all three of us.

"Are we waiting for Poppa Swan?" Kate asked sitting down at her desk.

"We need to Skype him in," Jasper replied setting his iPad up since he was all ready to go.

Moments later, I heard my dad's voice echo throughout the room. Since he doesn't know where the microphone is on his laptop, he has a tendency to scream at the computer when Skyping with us. It cracks Anthony up.

I love my dad for embracing these new technologies as a way to talk to Anthony. Living a couple hours away, it's not always easy to see each other as often as we'd like. I'm just glad that he was so close on Saturday when the Cullens showed up. He was only at a nearby park so he was able to race over when Rosalie called him to say that there were two people there claiming Anthony as their grandson. I didn't think she expected him to race into the backyard guns blazing, but with the limited information my dad had, he thought there was a threat. But that's neither here nor there.

"Bella, are you ready?" Kate asked me, bringing me back to the present. I nodded, unable to find my voice.

I reached for both Jasper and Rosalie's hands as Kate picked up a letter and a letter opener. I don't think any of us were breathing.

A minute later I saw Kate's eyes scanning the letter before she looked up at me.

"Bella, Anthony is not your biological son," she said grimly while looking into my eyes.

I had tried to prepare myself for this possibility. The evidence the Cullens had brought me had been compelling and plausible. However, deep down I kept hoping and praying that they were wrong. That they had the wrong child and it was actually some other family who would be involved in this mess. I did not want to find myself in the middle of a nasty custody battle with a family who lives halfway across the country. I do not want to share my son with these strangers.

There are so many things that make me Anthony's mother. No one else knows just how tight to tie his shoes so they stay on and stayed tied, but aren't too tight that he starts complaining. No one else knows the song to sing him when he won't calm down to sleep. I'm the one he cries for when he scrapes his knee or bumps his head. It's my bed he crawls into when his tummy aches and he wants a band-aid to make it feel better. I could name a million things that make me Anthony's Mom, but apparently biology is not one of them.

I take a deep breath, square my shoulders look directly at Kate and just say "okay".

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

We didn't leave Kate's office for another three hours. After my acceptance of the results, pandemonium erupted in Kate's office. I think that my being okay meant Jasper, Rosalie and my Dad were finally able to release the emotions that they'd been keeping to themselves these past few days.

Jasper immediately started shouting about how could someone have let this happen. Rosalie tried to argue with Kate that the Cullens must have paid the lab technician off and it was all a big conspiracy. But it was Charlie's reaction that almost broke me. He said he needed a minute then he walked out of view of the web camera. He didn't realize that we could still hear him and I heard his cries for a solid ten minutes.

About two minutes into his breakdown, I stepped out into the hall to call Sue Clearwater a good friends and Charlie's maybe girlfriend. I thought he was going to need someone to help him get through this.

Charlie's breakdown made all of us a little calmer. No one said anything when he came back into view of the camera. We all just started talking through the situation. Although there were still more questions than answers, we were at least relieved to also find out that Anthony tested negative for Hemochromatosis.

We then updated our plan. Jasper was going to continue to speak with the private detective. Charlie was going to work with the detectives assigned to my case. Rosalie was going to call Carlisle and Esme and inform them of the results. Kate was also going to speak with them as my lawyer. My next task was to have another appointment with Dr. O'Connor, which I had already scheduled for next week.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

I spent the next couple days tied to Anthony. We went to the park. We played games. We had a lot of mother and son time. Rosalie told me on Saturday morning that she didn't think I was dealing, but I really just thought that it was my way of proving to myself that I will not let this news negatively affect Anthony's life.

On Sunday, Anthony wanted to cash in on one of his birthday gifts from Jasper. This year Jasper got him a coupon book. There were about fifty good-for-one-tickets in there. It really was a nice gift from Jasper that I could tell he had made especially for Anthony. There were good for one afternoon at the park; good for one happy meal from McDonalds; good for one movie at the theater. The list goes on and on.

When Anthony opened the gift, he immediately declared that his Uncle Jazz was going to take him to see the new Dr. Seuss movie next weekend. He was already asking when he could use his next coupon. He also told me he was willing to share it with me, if I ever needed a happy meal or ice cream. He's such a cute kid.

But now that I was alone with my thoughts, I can't figure out how I should feel. It has been a whirlwind of a week. I think of nothing else but Anthony most days, but when I'm alone, thoughts of Aiden creep into my mind.

After the shock from the declaration wore off and I was able to think a little more clearly, I was surprised to discover that my heart had grown. I felt as though I walked into Kate's office a single Mom of one little boy and walked out as the Mom of two children. It's confusing to me because, at times, I feel like I'm failing Anthony as a Mom to even think about Aiden. But other times I can't help wonder what he's like.

I didn't know who to talk to about this, it's not like many people could relate or understand. Plus, I wasn't ready to publicize our situation.

I think I really just want the opportunity to get to know Aiden a little. I want to see his smile and hear his laugh. And I want to know without a shadow of a doubt that he is happy, cared for, and loved.

I knew what I needed to do and I needed Rosalie's help before I lost my nerve.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Esme?" I asked timidly. I can't believe I let Rosalie talk me into this. She came immediately after I called her and brought the Cullen's phone number along with her. I would have called immediately, but Anthony came home soon after. Rosalie stayed to have dinner with Anthony and I, but he fell asleep not long after dinner. I think Jasper wore him out today.

As soon as we knew Anthony was asleep and not likely to wake up soon, Rosalie passed me the phone and their number, pushed me on the couch, and started me down till I started dialing.

"Bella, dear, is that you?" I nodded and I could see Rosalie roll her eyes.

"Hi, Esme," Rosalie said. "It's Rosalie, and I'm here too."

"Of course, Rosalie. How are both of you doing this evening?" she replied, sweetly. I was relieved that she didn't seem to mind the intrusion so late in her evening.

"We're good. Sorry for the late night phone call, Bella was just hoping to talk to you for a bit, that is if we're not intruding," Rosalie explained. I'm glad she said something because until this very moment I had forgotten about the time difference.

"That would be lovely. Carlisle is working the late shift tonight and I don't sleep well till he is home anyway, so I'm all yours," she said and it sounded like she was getting comfortable. "How can I help you, Bella?"

I took a deep breath, grabbed Rosalie's hand, and said the words that would undoubtedly change my life. "Can you tell me about him?" I asked quietly.

"Oh, Bella. I may be a little biased, but he is truly the most wonderful little boy. He is shy when he first meets someone he doesn't know, but once you've met his approval, there's no turning back. And he loves to learn. Aiden is like a little sponge, learning anything someone is willing to teach. Sometimes when Carlisle and I are watching him, he'll sit on Carlisle's lap for hours and learn about being a doctor and the human body. And he's already so smart. Edward thinks it was from him reading Tennyson to Aiden to try to get him to go to sleep when he was an infant."

I heard a gasp from Rosalie next to me. She was about to fill Esme in on my love for Tennyson. But it's the fact that I used to read Tennyson to him in my womb that brought tears to my eyes. I never had to break out the classics with Anthony because he was always such a good sleeper.

"Tennyson?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I never understood it, but Edward saw it in a book somewhere that sometimes the rhythmic cadence of the poetry is soothing enough to lull anyone to sleep, even a crying baby."

"I can't believe it," Rosalie muttered next to me.

"What, dear?" Esme asked, curious about Rosalie's statement.

"I used to read him Tennyson when I was pregnant. He was always awake at night, so I would read it to him to try to calm him down enough so I could sleep."

"Unbelievable," Esme said an audible gasp coming from her. "What are the odds?"

"Does your son still read him Tennyson?" I asked, wanting to hear more about Aiden.

"Maybe once in a while when he won't sleep. But he loves having books read to him at night. In fact, sometimes it's easier to get him to get in bed by saying it's story time rather than it's nap time."

I laughed. That was probably true for Anthony as well.

"Let's see. He doesn't really have a favorite color. But I think that's more my son Emmett's influence rather than the truth. I suspect that Emmett put him up to it to annoy his sister, Alice."

"Does he see your other children often?" Rosalie asked. I suspect she was seeing similarities of Aiden's relationship with his aunt and uncle to her own relationship with Anthony.

"All the time. We are a very close family, and with Edward being a single dad, we help him out a lot. Every Wednesday, Emmett takes Aiden out on a new adventure. Most of the time, Emmett does it because he wants to, not because Edward needs the help. It's so cute, Aiden tells me all the time about the Adventures of Aid and Em."

She went on for the next hour speaking lovingly about Aiden. I was listening intently to every story, just wanting to know as much as possible but still too afraid to ask the one question I needed to know. Rosalie, seeing my reluctance squeezed my hand until I looked up at her. She nodded and mouthed 'you can do this'.

"Esme, can I ask a question?"

"Anything you want to know, Bella."

"Does he look like me?" I asked as I held my breath for the answer.

"So much, Bella, it's uncanny," she answered quickly. I'm glad she didn't question me on why I hadn't looked at the picture they left yet. I want to, and I probably would soon. I think I just needed some reassurance.

"He has curly dark hair, it's about your hair color but curly. I suspect it's a lot like your father's hair after meeting him briefly. He has a smile that lights up the room but it's your eyes that really made me stop in my tracks when we met. They are all you down to the shape and the beautiful brown color.

"My son tells me all the time how expressive Aiden's face is. I felt the same of you when we met."

"Would you like to hear about Anthony?" I asked Esme. I needed to change the subject before her kind words had me crying. I feared that once I started again, I wouldn't be able to stop. Esme had done so much to calm my fears, and she was so willing to share her life with me, a complete stranger, that I felt it important to offer the same back to her.

"I would love nothing more, Bella, but," she paused as I heard her take a deep breath. "I think Edward would want to be the first to ask these questions. I wouldn't feel right with me knowing more about Anthony than he does."

"Did you tell your son?" I asked timidly. I didn't want to pry into their lives, but I thought I might be able to help if he's having trouble dealing with the news. After all, I was probably the only other person who could relate to the news of their child being switched at birth.

"Yes," Esme sighed. "There were parts that he took better than expected, and parts that were worse."

"You can talk to me about it if you want. I don't want to intrude or anything."

"It's not that, sweetie. I can't tell you the whole story because parts are not my story to tell." The fact that she would say that really spoke to her character.

"Understood."

"I think he's feeling similar to what you felt when you found out. Only we had the blood tests to prove it. He was angry that we knew for so long and hadn't told him. And he's just so confused about this."

"I can relate, completely."

"I'm not sure what's going to happen, Bella. I still wonder if we did the right thing by saying something."

"It's not like you could have waited a couple years with this. It's not the kind of news that gets easier with time."

"I know. It's just so hard to see my little boy feel this way."

"Now that is something I can relate to, as a Mom."

She was quiet for what felt like a couple minutes. It was making me realize that this news isn't just hard on Edward and myself, it is something that affects all of our family and friends. It wasn't the first time that thought had crossed my mind, but now it really hit home for me.

"Bella, I'm not sure how this all is going to work out. But I want you to know, you can call me anytime day or night and we'll get through this."

"You too, Esme. I'm here for you too, just so you know. And it sounds like your son has done a great job raising Aiden. Knowing that will help me sleep better."

We spoke a little more after that. When we finally said our goodbyes, Rosalie was asleep on the couch next to me.

I fell asleep fairly easily then. I think it was the knowledge that Aiden, the boy I gave birth to, was happy, healthy, and completely loved.

* * *

**A/N PLEASE REVIEW! They totally make my day and make me type faster. **


	5. Chapter 5: Hopeful Conversations

**AN … Thank you. Thank You. THANK YOU. To all of my readers and reviewers. Your praise and words of encouragement keep this story brewing in my head no matter what else I am doing. I didn't get to respond to reviews this time, I'll try to do better in the future because they truly are appreciated.**

**This chapter ended up being longer than expected. I hope you like it. There's some fluff in the beginning, only I don't see it as fluff considering it's character building. Plus, it's setting up what's to come.**

**This is the edited version of this chapter. If it is something you have already read, most of the changes were grammatical, so feel free to skip it!**

**The usual disclaimer – the plot is mine. Anything else that you might recognize is not. I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just borrowed her characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

_Previously on Raising my son …_

_"Bella, I'm not sure how this all is going to work out. But I want you to know, you can call me anytime day or night and we'll get through this."_

_"You too, Esme. I'm here for you too, just so you know. And it sounds like your son has done a great job raising Aiden. Knowing that will help me sleep better."_

_We spoke a little more after that. When we finally said our goodbyes, Rosalie was asleep on the couch next to me._

_I fell asleep fairly easily then. I think it was the knowledge that Aiden, the boy I gave birth to, was happy, healthy, and completely loved._

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Surprising Questions and Hopeful Conversations**

It's been two weeks since my conversation with Esme and not much has happened. It's amazing sometimes, you get news that totally rocks your life to the core, but doesn't change a lot in your daily activities. Mine and Anthony's daily routine have stayed the same, and for that I'm grateful. At least there's a sense of familiarity in our routine. I think the only change is I'm sticking a lot closer to Anthony. I've started to notice that we cuddle more - he sits on my lap if we're watching TV, playing a game, or coloring. And I've started telling him that I love him so much during the day that he actually looked at me and said 'I know' before rolling his eyes yesterday.

I guess, while dealing with all of this change, I keep trying to reassure myself through these actions with Anthony that nothing will change with his and my relationship, not that he even knows what's going on. It's not like there's a self-help book on how to deal with finding out your son has been switched at birth. I could write one, but I only know of one other person who might buy it.

Speaking of that other person, we have yet to speak. I have spoken with Esme once more after our long conversation. She told me not to worry, that her family was working through everything much like I had. I was hoping to speak with Edward soon, but I also wanted to be the one to contact him. I don't know how I would deal if that phone call came out of the blue. Maybe I will call Esme and ask her to give me some warning before Edward calls.

I also know Kate has been in contact with the Cullen's lawyer, Emmett Cullen. I believe for the time being, they are not moving forward with anything until Edward and I speak. I also want the opportunity to converse directly with him and not through our attorneys.

This week, my dad is driving up from Forks and we have a meeting with the detectives. While he's here, we're also going to meet with the private detective to go over some information that he has found.

I was in the process of loading my SUV up with the deliveries for my clients, when Rosalie showed up. "Hey Rose!" I exclaimed while continuing to load the salad supplies. I had made a fresh Caesar dressing, so the salads were coming in parts for the homeowners to assemble themselves.

"Hey, is there more inside?" She asked, heading toward my car.

"Nope, this is the last of it," I replied. "I'm just glad that six of my families are on a cruise this month. I don't think I'd be able to take all of the food in my car if they weren't."

"If they were here, you probably would have made something different."

"Good point."

"Plus it's rare that you deliver to all families in one day," She reminds me. It's true. Most of my families I only cook for three nights a week, so I can stagger my deliveries. Plus there are some that I can deliver all the meals for the week at once, with instructions to housekeepers on how to heat the meal. There are about eight families that I deliver to five nights a week. They scoffed at me when I mentioned things such as leftovers and pre-prepared meals. It must be nice to afford a catered meal five nights a week and to eat out the other two.

"I know, but with the appointment at the precinct tomorrow, I'd like to be prepared." I finished organizing my deliveries then shut the door to the trunk. "So, did you come here to watch me load food, or are you coming along to make these deliveries?"

"I'm coming," she said hopping into the car.

She didn't say a word, and a couple of minutes into the drive and the silence was starting to drive me crazy. Rosalie usually doesn't have any issues speaking her mind.

"Spit it out Rose!" I exclaimed.

"I hate men!" she complained. I almost sighed when she said this. Rosalie has a tendency to give up on men about twice a year. She sticks to it for a couple weeks then 'falls off the wagon', at least, that's how she puts it. But the whole time she's not dating, she drives both Jasper and I crazy trying to make us entertain her.

"What happened this time, Rose?"

"So I was out to eat with some of my colleagues last week. When we got to the restaurant, we all had thought that someone else had made the reservation and there was about an hour wait without one. We were debating going somewhere else when four seats opened up at the bar. The other girls complained, but I was hungry." I laughed a little at this part. I had seen the girl put away dozens of chicken wings when she ate. I also saw her crabby when she was hungry, so I knew her colleagues didn't stand a chance at convincing her to eat at another restaurant.

"So we sat down and the bartender came over. And you know my motto," she said looking to me.

"Always befriend the bartender."

"Exactly! So I flirted with him. I started out doing it so I might get a free drink or two. But Marco was really hot. Tall, dark, a great smile, a little too scrawny for my taste, but something I could definitely work with.

"By the end of the night, I was ready to call a cab and he had asked me out for the next night. I would have said no, I mean, come on, one night's notice? But Meghan was sitting next to me and spoke up that I did not have any plans when he asked.

"So we made a date for the next night. I mentioned that I had an early class the next day, just so he knew."

"Ah, the whole early class or practice to give yourself an easy out."

"Exactly!" She agreed. It was not unusual for Rosalie to have an excuse before the first date just in case it starts to go south. She's not one to waste her time.

We had just arrived to the first house. She hopped out to help me carry everything in. This process was repeated at the next three houses, as they were all neighbors. It went so quickly that Rosalie didn't have the opportunity to continue her story.

"So you went out with him?" I prompted. I already knew she went out with someone last night. We talk to each other daily in fact, but I worried that if I didn't at least prompt her some, this story would take forever to tell.

"We met for tapas. We went to that place … you know … ugh … what's the name … the one on Market."

"Yeah, I know the place. The name's not coming to me though."

"Anyway. We went there for dinner, and I have to say on a scale of 1 to world's best date ever, I'd give dinner an 8.2."

"Wow, he knocked it out of the park." I said, impressed, but also curious how a date could have gone from an 8.2, to an 'I hate men'.

"I think that's what makes the next part so fucked up!" She replied. Rosalie must really be mad if she's swearing. The girl can have the mouth like a trucker, and she really doesn't have any control over it when her moods are at an extreme. "So, since dinner was so awesome, I decided to take him up on his offer to go to a pool hall that's close when he asked.

"We went to the pool hall and he tries to buy me a drink. I'm sticking to my absolutely no drinking on the first date policy. Plus I really do have that early morning class, so I say no. And Marco proceeds to get college freshman, never had a drink in his life, first night away from the parents, drunk. It was embarrassing.

"By this point he can't play pool and I'm practically babysitting him and carrying him around."

I pull up to the next house, but the story's getting good, so going inside can wait a few minutes.

"I debated just leaving him there, screw him! But it had been so long since I've been on a date that was an 8.2," she wined a little at the end. "I'm trying to get him to want to leave. I've been trying to get his phone to text a friend, or something. I'm really not sure how to take care of this situation when this guy walks up.

"He introduces himself as the owner and tells me that Marco is cut off and asks if I need help getting him in a cab. I'm so thankful for the kindness of this complete stranger, but when I smile at him, Marco sees and then tries to hit the guy.

"Holy crap!" I exclaim. I'm still a little confused. I always took Rosalie as the girl who would go gaga over a guy defending her honor, even if it was misguided.

"A whole bar brawl gets started and Marco starts breaking bottles over the bar. That's when the cops showed up.

"So now, I'm in this awkward situation, especially because I wanted the date to be over hours ago. And what started out as an 8.2 is now a 2.8. But I stay to talk to the officer, and try to explain that everything was a misunderstanding. Don't ask me why, but I did.

"I'm on one side of the room, Marco is being belligerent on the other side of the room, and the owner is by the door speaking to another cop, when the cop with Marco starts to cuff him. I heard him reading him his rights and I'm debating calling Kate to get her to help him. But before I could get my phone out, they have Marco halfway out the door. But before they can get him outside he calls back to me 'Rosie, can you call my wife?'" My mouth was on the floor and I looked directly at Rosalie. It looks like she's not sure whether to cry or laugh. I feel so bad for her, but I can't help it, I bust out laughing.

Rosalie gets out and delivers the meal to the house that we've been sitting in front of because it doesn't look like I'm going to stop laughing any time soon. I start to get worried that I've offended her with my laughter, but when she comes back she has a smile on her face.

"Rosalie, oh my god. I'm so sorry for laughing, but these things only happen to you."

"I know!" she exclaimed as she chuckled a bit. "I swear some days I only date for the funny stories, oh and the free food."

"Did anything happen after that?" I asked slightly curious if she spent the night in jail for assault or something like that. I wouldn't put it past her.

"Well I did charge him, but the officer caught me and held me back. When he found out that we were on a date and I didn't know he was married. He let me have one good hit." She turned to me then with a huge smile on her face, "Marco went to jail with a black eye from a girl.

"After that, things kind of died down. The officer I was talking to tried to convince me to go tell Marco's wife, in person, who I was and where Marco was. He wanted to film it for you tube. The other officer that was there, overheard and reprimanded him. Apparently the first cop, the one that held me back, thinks that his job should be one big episode of cops."

We both busted out laughing again. I was relieved that she was laughing with me this time. After about five minutes of laughing and driving, I pulled into my next house. But before I got out to make my delivery, I turned and hugged Rose.

"Thanks, Rosalie. I'm sorry you had such a crappy night, but it's been a while since I've laughed like that."

"I know girl. As much as I wish it didn't happen, I'm glad I could at least make you laugh."

I got out to make my delivery, which was a quick one, luckily. The homeowner is usually home when I stop by, and she is a talker. There are times when I'll save her for last just in case she decides to talk to me for a bit.

When I got back to the car, Rosalie was smiling, but she also seemed lost in thought.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Can I ask you a question?" she replied, looking slightly nervous. At my nod, she continued, "Have you ever thought about dating again? I mean you haven't dated since, umm, college."

I know what she meant to say, I haven't dated since my rape. But what she actually said was also true. I haven't been on a date or in a relationship since college. While I wasn't exactly shy when I got to college, I wasn't exactly experienced either. Rosalie told me all the time that I was more 'small town'.

Having spent my whole life in Forks, I guess small town was an accurate description and not an insult at all. It's hard to be shy when you grew up in a town where everyone knew everyone and everything about everyone. Angela and I played together when we were both in diapers. We were fairly inseparable from a young age. We were both bookworms. It was her mom that taught us how to cook when we were old enough. When we got to high school, we got boyfriends together.

When it came to college, I wanted to stay closer to my dad and Angela got accepted to Oregon State. She got a good scholarship because that's where her mom went. So I went to University of Washington in Seattle and she went to Portland.

A random lottery paired me with Rosalie and, while most complained about their freshman year roommates, Rosalie and I had found best friends in each other. We complimented each other perfectly. Where Rosalie was a bit of a party girl, I was a bit of a bookworm. So, she got me out of the dorm room for the social events, and I kept her study habits in line. And with her help along with some of our swimmer friends, I was able to start noticing some of the attention that boys were giving me. I had a couple boyfriends while in college, but I always knew none of them were 'The One'. In the end, Rosalie ended up graduating Cum Laude, and I had a great college experience and graduated with a 4.0 in English.

In my final year, I had applied, and was accepted, for the position of assistant junior editor at a local publishing house. But because of my attack, and the fact I was in the hospital for so long, I wasn't mentally prepared to start work. So I contacted the woman who was going to be my supervisor and had to turn the job down. Luckily for me, they offered it to Angela at my recommendation.

It was from there that I really developed my love for cooking. I had always been a good cook, I really loved to experiment with flavors and was always keen to create new dishes for my friends and family to try. I found that cooking gave me something to do, a piece of normalcy and predictability in my chaotic life. Something I could work into a routine, that gave me something to do each day and kept me moving forward.

Despite the fact that the art of cooking is described as messy, chaotic and stressful by many, when I'm in the kitchen, I gain a sense of calmness, focus and control. When I'm not cutting myself and bleeding all over it that is.

And since I started my career where I am mostly a work-from-home Mom, it is nearly impossible to get out there to meet someone.

"I don't know," I sighed, finally answering Rosalie once we reached the next house. "I don't know if I'll ever truly be ready for a relationship. I still have nightmares. Not to mention my baggage. Could you imagine me meeting a guy right now? 'Hi I'm Bella, I'm a single mom. The son I'm raising isn't the child I gave birth to because he was switched at birth. I'm raising him and my birth son is being raised by another family. Oh, not to mention, my child was conceived from my brutal rape which left me with physical and emotional scars that may never truly fade. Oh, and they never caught the guy. So what do you do?'

"It's hard. Every time you or Jasper introduces me to someone new, I try to put my brave face on, but the fear's still there. I guess I'm still scared. I don't know if I'll ever truly be ready for a relationship again. I wish I could meet someone that I feel an instant connection with, but would be patient enough with me to start out as friends. I guess I'm hoping for a connection that would give me enough courage to try." I looked at Rosalie then imploring her to understand my trepidation. She had tears in her eyes and pulled me into a fierce hug.

"I'm just so happy that you still believe you can get a happily ever after. For so long, you didn't believe you could."

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

I thought a lot about Rosalie's statement about a happily ever after. In fact, I spent a lot of time last night writing in my journal about just that. The moral of it is if there was a guy sitting in front of me saying I'll go as slow as you want, then of course I'd take a shot. I'm just scared. I also might be too cynical to believe that a single guy like that actually exists.

I knew what Dr. O'Connor would say though. 'Trust your instincts.' Even during the time when I was too scared to leave the house, or to talk to strange men, she always encouraged me to trust my instincts. She hasn't steered me wrong yet, so maybe at our next session I'll show her my journal. Then again with everything else going on, dating should definitely take a backseat.

And with that thought, I agreed to let myself think about it and possibly revisit those thoughts in the future. But I don't think I could be too logical about dating right now with all the other changes happening.

Anthony was super excited this morning, as today was the day that Charlie was going to come up and stay for a couple days. Anthony knew that he would be here when he got home from pre-school, so he practically dragged me out of the house to take him there.

On the other hand, I was moving slower than usual. I didn't like going to the Police Station, and I especially hate speaking to the Detectives. It's not that they are bad guys or anything, but I always felt weird around them knowing that they knew the full story. I am always so self-conscious around them. They have pictures of my injuries. They sat there and listened to my story making notes and asking detailed questions. Sure, my dad was there too, and I asked him to tell Jasper and Rosalie so I wouldn't have to.

But whenever I see the Detectives, it is only to talk about my case and the attack. It constantly reminds me of the attack and how little control I really have over my life and how easily someone could hurt me. I always feel like my safety has been compromised when I walk out of there, that somehow being in that place has made me physically weaker and drained the fight from me. I hate feeling like I have lost control, that I am weak and defenseless. I also feel like they constantly pity me, yet are apologetic for not finding the scum who did hurt me. That's probably why Charlie is usually the one who speaks with them on my behalf.

"Come on Mom!" Anthony said, trying to pull me toward the car.

"Hey, little man! What has you so riled up? You just saw Charlie for your birthday!" I asked walking purposefully slower as Anthony tugged on my hand. When he didn't slow down, I kept going. "It's early Anthony. You'll be the first one there."

"That's the point!" He exclaimed with an exasperated tone.

"Woah!" I said, tugging him to a stop and turning him to face me. "Explain!"

When he didn't say anything, I picked him up and brought him back to the house. After sitting him on a chair, I knelt down in front of him to look him in the eye. The look in his eyes nearly broke my heart.

"Anthony, what's wrong?" I asked but he just shook his head and clamped his eyes shut probably to keep the tears from falling. "Awe, buddy! What is it? You can tell me."

"Then can we go?" he asked with a whine in his voice.

"Yes, buddy, then we can go."

"I wanted to ask Miss Wendy if I could bring Poppa in for show and tell," he said, or at least I think that's what he said. The toddler speak really comes out in him when he's upset like he is now.

"I don't see why that would upset you, Anthony."

"Last week Johnny's Dad brought in his pet lizard. His dad stayed while we played with the lizard. His dad was so cool. Mark wants to take his dad to show and tell now because he thinks his dad is way cooler than Johnny's Dad. I thought that I could take Poppa Charlie. He's so much cooler than anyone's dad. He's the Chief. 'Sides, I don't have a dad to take."

My heart broke at his explanation. I had been anticipating this question for years. He had asked once before, about a year ago, but settled for the explanation that he shouldn't be jealous of his friends, since his friends don't have an Uncle Jazz, an Aunt Rosie, an Uncle Jake, and so on. He conceded, but I knew that the question would come up again.

It was a big debate amongst my friends and I, what I should tell him. The truth was too much for a little boy, and while I always knew I would tell him the truth eventually, four was way too young for that conversation. I had considered for a long time about telling him that his father was dead, but I was afraid for the questions that explanation would raise. I also didn't want him to mourn a non-existent, dead father. Plus, I was afraid he'd ask for pictures. We kind of settled on artificial insemination, or something of the sort. I can't even remember the story we came up with now. But again, how do you explain that to a four year old? With the switch, things have just become even harder to explain. I sat there and hugged my son, silently crying behind his back. I can barely come up with the words to explain this to myself let alone my four-year-old.

"Anthony, I think your Grandfather would be so honored to come to show-and-tell. He's definitely the coolest," I said, trying to buy myself some time to answer the looming father question.

"Really?" He said, jumping up and out of my arms. "Then what are we waiting for?" He asked, pulling me out the door. This time, I let him. Just add this to the growing list of things I need to talk to someone about.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Dropping Anthony off at pre-school was pretty uneventful. He practically ran inside to ask Miss Wendy about bringing his grandpa in for show and tell. Wendy was more than happy to allow his request, for which I was thankful. Having grown up without a father as well, she said she always felt a sort of kinship with Anthony.

Her situation was a little different than Anthony's. Her mother got pregnant to a man who didn't want a family at the time. He has never truly acknowledged Wendy as his child, even now that he has four other children. And while she didn't know our whole story, she knew enough to not question his request.

Charlie was waiting for me at my house when I got back from dropping Anthony off. One look at my face and he knew I was already struggling. We had some time, so we sat down and I told him about my conversation with Anthony. I don't think he knew how to react. It was a question we all knew I would have to answer someday, but it still caught me by surprise. It was only a matter of time until it gets brought up again, and I know the non-answer can't be the same this time. There is only so long distraction tactics work, and I know I am reaching the limits.

Twenty minutes later, Detectives Marks and Stevens were waiting for us when we got to the precinct. I'm not sure if it was good or bad news. After obligatory greetings they led us into a conference room of sorts. I'm glad because when I had imagined this meeting, I feared they would lead us into an interrogation room. And I don't know how much more I can take.

"Charlie, Isabella, we don't have a lot of information for you, but we wanted to go over what we do have," Detective Marks began as we sat down. He was an older officer, probably around Charlie's age with graying hair and glasses.

Detective Stevens, though, was much younger, probably in his thirties. He was of Asian decent and was always very compassionate toward me. It was the look in his eyes that I always felt was pity directed towards me.

"We had the lab technician that ran your maternity tests send us their results as well as the DNA map. We compared those results to the samples that we have in evidence," Stevens started.

"Our lab technicians had to run our own samples again and compare the results. They also ran further tests, comparing the evidence collected after the birth of your son, to the samples collected when you were first admitted after the assault. Apparently our technicians are not quite as fast as yours, and were trying to be thorough. That's what took us so long to get back to you," Detective Marks interrupted.

"Isabella, I'm sorry to have to tell you, they weren't a match."

"What does that mean, weren't a match?" I inquired, exasperated with the situation and the unclear answer I had just been given.

"I'm sorry Isabella. These results are extremely confusing for us also. The DNA samples we have in evidence are a match with the DNA samples of Anthony Swan, but not yours," Detective Stevens tried to explain.

"What?" Charlie questioned, absolutely stunned.

"But I remember them taking my sample at the hospital. I remember it," I tried to argue with them.

"Something just doesn't add up," Charlie stated, shaking his head at the news.

"We don't know how it happened, but the DNA that was entered into evidence after the birth of your son, the evidence that we ran through our databases, actually belongs to Anthony Swan. The maternal sample, which was taken at the same time, does not belong to you either, but to Anthony's birth mother. As you know, there was no physical evidence from your attacker found at the time of your attack. We never compared the samples taken after the birth of your son to your original DNA samples because there was no reason to.

"The only sample that was used to look for the perp, was that of the child we thought was your son, and there was no hit in the system on the paternal DNA. The lab has only recently run the second samples, the ones of mother and child, against each in order to establish a maternal link, which there was. However, after the mention of the switch, we asked them to compare your first sample to the second samples. They did not match. The samples taken at the birth show the match between mother and child, but not to you. The private lab that ran your recent genetic tests has confirmed our results. I'm sorry to say, we do not have the DNA samples from your birth son, and therefore we are still unable to run his DNA to determine if your attacker is in our databases," Detective Marks summed up quickly.

I looked up from the spot on the table that I had been staring at since we entered this room. All eyes were on me. Detective Marks looking at me with a serious expression. Charlie was looking at me warily. I guess since my breakdown after dropping Anthony off, he was worried I might lose it again. But it was Detective Steven's pitying eyes that got to me. I lost it. I bust out laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all.

"So, let me get this straight. Not only was my son switched at birth, but our DNA samples were mixed up as well?" I managed to get out through my hysterical laughs. To their credit, the Detectives maintained their serious demeanor. "I need some air," I said and with that I left the room. When will the absurdity of this situation end?

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

As soon as I stepped outside, I finally calmed down enough to stop laughing. I just couldn't believe the absurdity of the events of the past couple weeks. I knew it was going to take Charlie a while longer to talk this development through with the Detectives, so I decided to call Dr. O'Connor. I figured that she could talk to me about the events of the day for a little. Hopefully it would calm me enough for when I picked Anthony up from pre-school.

She was able to talk to me for the fifteen minutes that I waited outside of the precinct. We chatted more as friends than doctor/patient and she was able to give me enough perspective to not feel so out of control.

When Charlie and I got home with Anthony, Charlie stepped outside to call Jasper and fill him in. He had told me a little more while we were driving to pick Anthony up. The detectives were just going to brush it off as some accident mix up by the hospital, but Charlie begged them to look into it some more. I mean, seriously, what are the odds? But apparently that is what took so long after I left the room. They didn't actually have any additional information about my case beyond that.

That night Charlie and I played games with Anthony. He was more than happy to entertain us. Shortly after Anthony headed to bed, Charlie went too. He had a long day between the drive, the meeting at the police station, and playing with Anthony. I wasn't far behind, after some preparations for breakfast in the morning. I didn't sleep very well the previous night, my brain preoccupied with thoughts surrounding Rosalie's question.

The next morning, I woke early and made one of Charlie's and Anthony's favorite meals – breakfast pizza. It was fairly easy and luckily I had done most of the prep work the night before. When Charlie came into the kitchen, I noticed that he was already dressed in his cop uniform. I didn't even know he brought it with him.

"It was in my trunk, and I thought Anthony might like it if I look the part today," he answered my unasked question for me. I just smiled at him and finished setting the table.

"Um, Dad?" I asked quietly. He looked up from the morning paper, the look in his eyes urging me to continue. "Would you mind if you and Jasper go to the private detective's office without me? I just am afraid that we are not going to find anything new, or answer any of the questions that I do have, which would just drive me crazy. But I'm also afraid of what new information we might find and the questions that might be raised. I can't take any more uncertainty or any more surprises. I think I'd rather just hear the highlights later." He must have understood my apprehension, because he reached across the table to grab my hand.

"Sure thing, Bells. You've been through a lot these past couple weeks. I completely understand wanting to take a step back a little. You're so strong." I knew it was just as hard for Charlie and everyone else and I felt a little selfish asking to sit this one out. But I just couldn't walk into another room expecting some answers and leaving with more questions.

Anthony walked in at that moment, effectively ending the conversation we were having. He was rubbing sleep from his eyes when he must have smelled what we were having for breakfast.

"Pizza!" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. When he looked over at us, he saw Charlie in his police uniform. "Poppa!" He screamed even louder and launched himself at his grandfather.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Charlie left with Anthony later that morning. I offered to drive with them, but Anthony was just too excited to go in the police cruiser. He thought that it would only add to 'Poppa's coolness'. I was just planning on turning up my XM radio, putting my apron on, and getting lost in my kitchen. It is my way of relaxing and dealing with things.

I have learned my lesson from a few weeks ago not to let my mind wander too much when I have a knife in my hands, which have thankfully healed up nicely. I had chickens boiling on the stove, to make chicken broth for some soups that would be on the menu this week, when the phone rang.

I wasn't sure who it could be because I wasn't expecting any calls and everyone I regularly speak with is working right now. I glanced at the caller ID and didn't recognize the area code. I was about to let it go to voicemail when curiosity got the best of me.

"Hello?" I asked.

"I'm calling for Isabella Swan," a smooth male voice stated. It was a deep baritone voice, but I could hear a little trembling when he spoke.

"This is she, may I ask who is calling?"

"Isabella, this is Edward Cullen."

My breath hitched as I mentally cursed myself for not asking Esme for a warning about this phone call. I leaned over and turned the stove off. I was nervous enough about this conversation, and I didn't want to worry about burning my house down.

"Edward," I said and I knew he could tell from the tone of my voice that I knew exactly who he was.

"Wow, I don't really even know what to say," he replied sounding a little more relaxed.

"I know what you mean. I've been expecting your call for some time now, but I'm still caught off guard."

"I hope I didn't catch you at an inconvenient time, Isabella." I took a seat at my kitchen table with a big glass of water trying to calm my thumping heart. The irony was not lost on me that I declined going to the private detectives office so that I could have an uneventful afternoon at home. If I had gone, I would not have been here for this conversation.

"No, it's fine, Edward. I think we both know there will never be a truly convenient time for this conversation."

"Touché," he murmured. "I have to admit my mother gave me a little information on your schedule, and I was hoping to catch you at a time where your, uh, Anthony, was not around." I noticed that he did not refer to Anthony as my son, which had my heart starting back up. Was I naïve to trust Carlisle and Esme?

"My son," I stated firmly. I was not going to mince words. I wanted him to know that Anthony was without a doubt my son. He may not have grown under my heart, but he grew in it and I was his Mom. I wanted Edward aware from the get go that if he was going to try something, to battle me for custody, I would not give up without a fight. I would never give up my son. "Anthony, my son."

"Yes, of course, Isabella. I'm sorry, I did not mean it like that," I scoffed at that; unsure about how much I could trust him. "I truly apologize. Anthony is your son, and nothing will change that." I could hear Aunt Kate in my head shouting to get that in writing in front of a notary and we could call it a day.

But my rationality got the best of me. This is an awkward situation for all parties involved. I'm sure at some point in time, I'm going to put my foot in my mouth as well. And right now, the best thing for me, and the best thing for my son, was for me to remain civil.

"I'm sorry too, Edward. I think this whole situation has had me on edge since the moment I found out," he sighed with relief then too.

"I've been trying to make this phone call for days now, but I every time I imagined it, I never really thought it through beyond the introductions. I'm trying to figure out what to say next," he said. That was something we had in common. Although I knew it was coming as well, I never gave it enough thought to know what I would say when I finally got Edward on the phone.

"I know what you mean. I'd ask you how you are and how your day is, but I think small talk would just be insincere."

He laughed a little, a sound that put me a little more at ease.

"I don't know what to do, but I am hoping that you and I can work through this together."

"I would like that, Edward. I mean this whole situation is inconceivable. Our boys, switched at birth? Is this real?" I said. I think I was babbling a little, but I needed to say out loud what I was feeling.

"I'm so glad you said that!" he laughed.

"What do we do? There's not a guidebook on how we react to this."

"I don't know. Truthfully," he said then we both were quiet for a while. "I think a nice option might be for me to take some time off from my job. I could probably swing about five days next month, maybe more. I just think these kind of conversations need to be done in person. I was thinking that we could meet in person and talk this through like adults. I could come to Seattle, you could come to Chicago, or we could meet somewhere completely neutral. I'll leave that decision up to you. Then if it all goes well, and we both agree, maybe we could meet each other's sons."

"I'm going to need to think about that for a while, maybe talk it through with my family," I replied. He mumbled in agreement. I didn't want him to feel like I was rejecting his ideas, so I added "But I think it sounds like a good plan, I'll just need to figure out some things before we make anything official."

"That's fine with me, Isabella. I would just really like for you and I to try to talk through this situation together. I'm afraid if we let our lawyers speak for us, neither one of us will be heard."

"You're completely right, Edward," I sighed in complete agreement. I love Aunt Kate to death, but if we can work this out civilly, without lawyers, then I think it would be best in the end. If we are going to be in each other's lives, seeing each other's children, it would be best for all if there is as little antagonism as possible.

"Take a couple days, think it over, talk it through, and let me know. We can figure out the details from there," he said before we exchanged email addresses and cell phone numbers so we could also text or email in the future to work out the plans.

Having nothing else to really talk about with this complete stranger, we were about to get off the phone when something compelled me to tell him the thoughts that I had after I got off the phone with Esme those few weeks ago.

"Edward!" I said and waited for acknowledgement before continuing just in case he had already hung up. When he answered, I continued, "I just want to let you know, from what I heard from Esme, you have done a fine job of raising Aiden. He sounds like a wonderful little boy and he is lucky to have you as a father."

Esme had always done a great job of reassuring me that she was not trying to take my son away from me, that I felt compelled to return the sentiment to Edward.

I was shocked, though, when I heard a sob break out through the phone. "Thank you, Isabella. Those words mean the world to me. I love Aiden so much. He is my world."

I smiled what I realized was my own watery smile and replied the only way I knew how.

"Bella."

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"My name, you can call me Bella."

"Bella," he sighed. And something in my heart told me everything was going to be ok.

* * *

**A/N So you have heard from Edward, and now I would like to hear from you – REVIEW PLEASE!**

**You can thank the Olympics for keeping me writing this week. I was tired and wanted to sleep but also wanted to watching the Swimming finals. So I've been staying up later, which also means I've been writing more. YAY! They are also responsible for me not having a cliffhanger this chapter. Well, the Olympics and the fact that Edward just wanted to be heard. And don't worry, he will be seen soon enough.**

**As always, I make no promises with the timing of the next chapter. I have been putting a chapter a week out there, so hopefully I can keep the momentum going. But I am getting side tracked each night by the Olympics. **


	6. Chapter 6: Meeting My Son's Father

**A/N Sorry this chapter took longer than the rest. I would like to thank JFish88 and Deebelle1 for the awesomeness that is this chapter. It's probably my best chapter yet, and it's not just because we meet Edward! It's all thanks to those two ladies. **

**I'd also like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story. I can't believe I'm almost at 100 reviews. I read each and every word you write and I'm so thankful that you're taking your time to let me know what you think of my story. It keeps me writing.**

**The usual disclaimer – the plot is mine. Anything else that you might recognize is not. I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just borrowed her characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

_Previously on Raising my son …_

"_Thank you, Isabella. Those words mean the world to me. I love Aiden so much. He is my world."_

_I smiled what I realized was a watery smile and replied the only way I knew how, "Bella." _

"_Huh?" he asked confused._

"_My name, you can call me Bella."_

"_Bella," he sighed. And something in my heart told me everything was going to be ok._

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Meeting My Son's Father**

It wasn't until a week after that conversation, that I told anyone it took place. I needed to think, on my own, about how I wanted to move forward. Edward was kind enough to leave the decision on exactly how we would do this up to me, and I had been mulling it over almost non-stop all week.

On one hand, it would make sense for us to meet somewhere completely neutral, but I think there's an additional awkwardness in that. If we are both in a place that we've never been, then neither one of us would be very comfortable. Nor would we easily find a comfortable place to have the conversation. Plus there is the added complication of entertaining an active four year old in an unfamiliar place.

The easiest choice for me, would be to meet somewhere in Seattle. I could pick a neutral, but familiar place where I know I would be completely comfortable. But then I guess the whole time that he, or any Cullen for that matter, were in Seattle, I'd be looking over my shoulder thinking that they might just show up at my home any minute.

This led me to decide to travel to Chicago. I know it wouldn't be my home turf and I wouldn't be in a city where I was comfortable, but I think this is what I needed. It would also be nice to get away for a couple of days. Most importantly, I needed to see where Aiden lives. This way, I'd be able to see with my own eyes that he is being taken care of and has a wonderful life. That would make it easier to come back to Seattle and have our lives go back to normal, relatively speaking. Plus, I would be able to take Anthony on a day trip to see Jake and Carlie for the first time since their move. This whole plan in my head hinges on the hope that Jasper, Rosalie, and maybe even Charlie would be willing to come with me.

I know, I must be completely crazy to want to go to Chicago, but I'm worried that if we decide to meet each other's sons, after they leave I would start seeing Aiden, subconsciously at least, in Seattle. If I go to Chicago, I can leave all those memories in Chicago. I just hope I have the strength to do this.

I'm glad I waited to talk about my conversation with Edward until I had made my decision. I was going to do it as soon as Jasper and Charlie got back from the meeting with the private detective, but they wanted to tell me all about their meeting, so my news had to wait. The information was exactly what I thought it would be, pointless. Apparently the only information that Liam, the investigator, found was about the Cullen's. When I was informed there was nothing bad in the report, I chose not to hear it. I wasn't one hundred percent sure I had already made my mind up about meeting Edward, or why I felt the need to, but I wanted to form my own opinions about the family that was raising the son I gave birth to.

Telling them my decision to not hear any of the information that Liam found, caused a little argument that night. Charlie and Jasper thought I was being reckless by not listening to any of the information about the Cullen family. It wasn't until Rosalie arrived a couple of hours later that they finally backed down. She looked at her brother and my father and asked if Liam had found any information that was vitally important or anything bad that I needed to know. When they said no, she turned to me. She asked me if Jasper and Charlie did find anything about the Cullen's that I would need to know, would I listen. I said absolutely. The tension was lifted immediately with her mediation and the rest of the night passed quietly.

A few days later, I invited everyone back over for dinner to tell them about my conversation with Edward.

"Not that I don't love eating your cooking, Bells, but you must have had a reason for calling us here," Jasper said after clearing his plate from the dinner table. Anthony was watching _Finding Nemo_ in the living room and Rosalie was staring at me with a curious expression that matched her brother's.

"Something happened a couple days ago that I didn't want to talk to you two about until I decided what I wanted to do," I started. I knew they would be mad at me for keeping this from them, but I hoped that they would see that this is what I needed to do, for my peace of mind. "I received a phone call from Edward Cullen."

"What?" Jasper gasped. Rosalie just sat there with her mouth open.

"He called while you and Charlie were meeting with Liam."

"And you're just now telling us this, Bella?" Rosalie asked. I couldn't tell if she was pissed or hurt that I kept this from her.

"I'm sorry. I was going to tell you once you got back from the meeting, but we all got a little sidetracked. And after, you gave me some more to think about, and I wanted to reflect on it, on my own, before I made any decisions. I needed to figure out what I wanted before I talked to you about this." I said, feeling somewhat guilty, but still justified. I know I would feel upset if they kept something like this from me, but they had to see my point as well.

"Just tell us what happened," Rosalie said.

"He called and honestly the conversation wasn't longer than five minutes. There wasn't much said on either side. I think neither of us knew what to say."

"Understandable," Jasper said. At least he was letting the glare fade a little.

"Basically we decided that it would be best to speak to each other about this whole situation in person, and try to work on an arrangement that suits both of us. He said he could take a couple of days off of work."

"So he's coming here? Soon?" Rosalie asked, her eyes going wide.

"No, it probably won't happen until next month," I said and I watched them visibly relax. "He left it up to me where this meeting would happen. He said we could meet someplace neutral, he could come to Seattle, or we could go to Chicago. That's what I spent most of the time thinking about and it's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"When he comes, is he bringing Aiden?" Jasper asked. I glossed over his assumption that the meeting would be taking place here.

"When we spoke, we agreed to meet without our sons initially and to talk this out as adults. After if we come to an understanding, and sort a few key things out, and if both Edward and myself are comfortable with it, we'll probably each spend some time with the boys."

"Great! So what do you need us to do?" Rosalie asked.

"Come to Chicago with me," I said with finality. I didn't want to leave my decision to go to Chicago up for discussion; it's what felt right to me and at this point, I think this mattered most.

"WHAT?" Jasper questioned. But Anthony walked into the room before anyone could say anything else.

"Mommy? Can I have some milk?" he asked as he walked over and climbed onto my lap.

"I'll get it for you, Ant," Rosalie said getting up and walking toward the kitchen. She knew it would be hard for me to get it seeing how Anthony was now sitting on my lap. He always gets really cuddly when he's tired.

"You tired, buddy?" I asked while rubbing his back.

"Yeah," he mumbled before taking a sip of the milk Rosalie had just returned with.

"Why don't you go get your PJs on before watching the rest of the movie," I told him. I knew he would want to continue watching the movie, but if he put his PJs on, he could just fall asleep on the couch. It was the best of both worlds.

He just nodded and continued to drink his milk.

"Ok, Anthony. Let's go get ready for bed," I said standing up with him.

We went to his room and then the bathroom and got him ready for bed. By the time we finished his nightly routine, he was yawning so much that I just turned the TV off and put him right to bed. He didn't even complain.

I was walking back into the kitchen and my friend's voices cut off. I knew they were talking about me, but I hadn't heard what they had been saying.

"Bella, why are we going there? Why can't he come here?" Jasper asked. He was getting right to the point.

I sighed, sitting down. "I thought a lot about it, and yes, the easy decision would be to have them come here. Home field advantage and all that. But I don't want that. I need to see where Aiden lives. If they come here, I won't get the chance to see that. It also won't be as easy to have my life go back to normal, after they go back to Chicago, if I have memories of Aiden all over the city. The whole thing is going to be hard enough as it is."

I looked up then; both Jasper and Rosalie were deep in thought. I don't know if this was the best decision or not, but it felt right. 'Trust your instincts' said Dr. O'Connor's voice in my head.

Rosalie was the first to speak up. "I guess I can see your point. Classes are still in session throughout May, but it is likely that I can get some time off. One of my TA's can teach for a couple of days."

"You know I'll be able to swing it whenever you need, Bella," Jasper sighed. I could tell that he didn't necessarily agree with my decision, but I was also grateful that they weren't arguing.

"Out of curiosity, have you told your dad yet?" Rosalie asked with a smirk on her face.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Telling Charlie didn't go over even half as well as telling Jasper and Rosalie did. I think he was more upset than anything that he wouldn't be able to go. He only had limited amount of time off, and he had already taken a lot of it to be with me for these unexpected meetings and other things. In the end, I think he understood though. He did mention trying to fly out to Chicago for at least a couple of days, instead of the whole time we were going to be there.

Now, I just needed to talk to Edward and figure out when the trip would be taking place. I didn't know anything about his schedule or what he did, so I just had to chance it when I called.

It rang a couple of times until his familiar voice answered.

"Hello, Edward Cullen speaking."

"Edward? It's Bella Swan," I replied. This time I was the one with the nervous voice.

"Bella," he said my name, and it sounded like he was relieved to finally be hearing from me.

"I hope now isn't a bad time?" I asked out of courtesy.

"Not at all, Bella. Just give me a minute to go into the other room," I heard him speaking to a woman briefly before I heard a door open and then close. "I'm glad you called. I was starting to worry that you had changed your mind."

"No, not at all. I just wanted to think through your proposal thoroughly before calling you back."

"I take it you've made a decision then." he said.

I paused just then. I knew telling him my decision and making the actual plans would undoubtedly change my life forever. There would be no going back. It was going to make this situation unmistakably real, rather than all the hypotheticals that had been playing in my head since Carlisle and Esme came to my house. It would take a lot of strength to get me through this next part, and I needed to be absolutely sure that this is what I wanted.

"Are you still there?" he asked.

With my thoughts interrupted, I took a deep breath and answered, "Yeah, sorry. Just let us know when, and we'll come visit you in Chicago."

A gasp came from the other line, "You'll come here?"

"I have a couple reasons for that decision. I'm my own boss so my schedule is possibly more flexible than yours. I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I can potentially take more than just 5 days off of work, if need, in order to give us extra time to work everything out. And I also have friends that recently moved to Detroit, so we're going to take a couple days and go visit them as well," I told him. I didn't want to divulge the fact that I was interested is seeing where Aiden lives. I was afraid that he would find that a reason to push to have the meeting here instead.

"Thank you. That really works out perfectly," he said and I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"So have you figured out when you could get the time off?" I asked.

"I don't know how much you know about me, but I'm a pediatrician. It's just a matter of closing the office for a couple of days and finding someone to cover my hospital shifts," he told me. "And if you're going to be coming to Chicago, I might be able to take a couple more days by only working a shift or two while you are in town."

"That would be fine," I said. I wasn't going to make promises on how long we would stay or how exactly things would work out until we finally met in person. "Do you have an idea of a date that would be best for us to arrive?"

"I was thinking the last full week in May, the 21st. Maybe you can look at plane tickets and just let me know when works best," he replied. I was relieved that he was being flexible on the days because I know what plane tickets can cost these days. If we can pick the dates and times, hopefully we can find something reasonable.

"I can do that. Can you recommend a hotel nearby or at least an area of hotels?" I asked. Hopefully we could find something reasonable and maybe Jazz and Rose could stay with us to help cut the costs and ensure that there was more than one person on hand to look after Anthony.

"Why don't you let me take care of the hotel? My family has a standing discount at one close to our homes," he said.

"Absolutely not," I said firmly. "Please just give me an area and we will find something."

"Bella, I'm not offering to pay for it. I can tell that wouldn't go over well if I did. I am offering to make the reservation for you. If I call and reserve one or two rooms, the discount you get would be better than anything you could find on your own."

I thought about it for a minute. If he really did have a deal with a local hotel, who would I be to turn down a better rate? I was a little concerned that I had no clue which hotel it was or the cost, but it was just a suggestion, and if I was uncomfortable I could always find something more my style. Plus, seeing how both Carlisle and Edward are doctors, they probably don't live in an area where we can just stay at the Holiday Inn for practically nothing.

"Are you sure it wouldn't be an imposition, Edward?" I asked.

"Bella, if we get the reservation then we can also get access to some private dining. It would be a good place for certain conversations to take place. Please, let me do this for you―for us," he pleaded with me.

"If it is just making a reservation, I guess I can let you make that phone call on our behalf."

"Good!" he said. We wound up the conversation and I promised to email him as soon as I made our flight reservations, and to let him know if I needed any additional help with transportation or anything else that came with when traveling with a child.

I spent the next couple of days working out the details. We were able to get a cheap flight on Tuesday the 22nd, and Jasper was going to go with us. Rosalie couldn't arrive until Friday, but I understood. I was already asking a lot of them. Charlie was also trying to fly out on the Saturday after Rosalie. He was going to wait a bit to make his arrangements though.

I also had to work out my job. While it was feasible for me to take off work, I couldn't really afford to not be working for too long. I figured out a way to still supply about half of my families with their meals by making certain things ahead of time. I could deliver them their weekly supplies before we left. Rosalie also said she could make a round of deliveries before she left, so we pretty much had most of the families covered for a week. I was also going to make another round of weekly meals to put in the freezer that I could possibly ask Angela to deliver for me. This way we could stay in Chicago for as long as ten days, and I would only lose less than one third of my income.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

It was the weekend before we were leaving when Rosalie decided that we needed a girl's night in. Jasper and Ben had offered to watch the kids for us, so Anthony was going to go over to Angela and Ben's house with Jasper while the ladies came over to mine.

Victoria, Angela, Heidi, Samantha and Rosalie all came over where we stuffed ourselves full of junk food, ice cream, brownies and booze. The girls were in the living room dancing around when I pulled Angela aside to ask her about making deliveries for me.

"I have a favor to ask you, Ang," I said pulling her into my bedroom.

"Anything, Bella," she replied.

"I have to go out of town next week. Would you be able to make some deliveries for me?"

"Sure thing, Bella. Is everything ok?" she asked. This is what I loved about Angela. She agreed without asking anything in return. I knew if I told her everything was ok, she would smile and the subject would be dropped. But I also knew I could trust her.

I hadn't told anyone besides Jasper, Rosalie, Charlie and Billy about the switch. I think Billy told Jake, but I had been dodging his calls, so I wasn't completely sure. I think talking to Angela about everything would take some of the weight off my shoulders. She also might be able to relate to some of my feelings because she was a mother too.

So I broke down. I told her about meeting Carlisle and Esme before Anthony's birthday party. I told her all about my embarrassing trip to the hospital the next day. Her mouth dropped open when I told her about the official results and my conversation with Esme. She started to tear up when I informed her about what we found out from the detectives, and then finally my conversations and decisions to meet with Edward.

We had been talking for about two hours when Heidi and Victoria finally came to find us. They got concerned when they saw Angela and me crying. She covered for us quickly though by telling them that her Mom was going in for tests this week and she was really worried that something might be wrong with her. I was really grateful for the lie because these girls are not the kind of friends that would leave well-enough alone or mind their own business if we were to just say nothing.

Shortly after midnight, Jasper returned with a sleeping Anthony in his arms and, after he put him into bed for me, he loaded all of the girls up to drive them home. Rosalie was staying with me, so we stayed up for a couple more hours talking about everything and nothing. She listened to my fears about what might happen when we got to Chicago. I listened to her recent coffee date. She decided to try again after married guy, but this time she would only commit to coffee. The problem with this date was that the guy only referred to himself in the third person.

"Raul likes Rosalie," she said in a Spanish accent. I loved my best friend so much. She knew exactly when I needed to let go and laugh a little. Tomorrow and Monday I would be cooking my heart out. Then Tuesday, Jasper, Anthony and I were heading to Chicago.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Jazz! I can't do this. I didn't think this the whole way through. Where's my backup? Why do I have to go through this alone?" I was freaking out on Jasper. Our flight had been delayed, so we had arrived later than anticipated in Chicago, leaving me less time than planned to check in and get Anthony settled before I was due to meet with Edward downstairs. I thought I had planned everything so well, and the rushing was making me anxious. My main problem was that I would have to meet Edward all alone while Jasper watched Anthony. I hadn't even realized this when I made this 'great plan'.

I wasn't willing to take Anthony near Edward until I had met him beforehand. I just didn't realize I wouldn't have someone by my side when I met Edward.

"Bella, you had enough strength to make the decision to come here. You're facing all your fears. You're facing all of your challenges head on. If there is someone who can handle tonight, it is you. I have no doubt in my mind that you're going to get through this meeting without issue," he told me staring directly into my eyes.

Here we were in the nicest hotel that I've ever stepped foot in, The Peninsula Hotel in downtown Chicago, close to the Lincoln Park area where Edward lives. The hotel, and the surrounding area, is absolutely beautiful. I had a near panic attack when we pulled up. I didn't feel like I could afford to step into the hotel let alone stay for a week. But when I gave my name to the lady at the front desk, she just smiled and gave me a weekly rate of $200. I was floored. A hotel like this usually goes for $200 a night minimum. And they were giving me a two-bedroom suite, for $200, for a week!

My incredulous expression must have given me away because the next thing the receptionist said was "Must be nice to be friends with the Cullen's," with a reassuring smile as a way of an explanation and adding to my stress.

"Bella!" Jasper sighed bringing me back to the present. "The meeting is taking place in a private dining room downstairs. You have your cell phone, and you can call me if you need me. Anthony and I are no more than an elevator ride away from you."

"Maybe you should tell me everything Liam told you. What if I have a panic attack? What if he―"

"Bella stop! I'd tell you what Liam said, but we don't have time, and there was nothing in his report that was cause for concern. I promise. Now take a breath and calm down!"

"I know Jazz, I just don't know if I can do this. There have been so many times where I've tried to picture what my attacker looks like, and in those nightmares, he looks a lot like an older version of Anthony. I'm just afraid that as soon as I meet Edward, all I will be able to think about is that he is the one that attacked me," I said to Jasper. I think the crux of my issues came down to those nightmares. Luckily Anthony was still sleeping in the other room. I don't know what I would do if I had to have this freak out silently so I wouldn't alert Anthony to my issues.

"I think I can help with that," Jasper said, getting up and moving over to his briefcase. "I have two pieces of paper. The first is from the private detective that Esme and Carlisle hired. It proves that Edward is not Aiden's father. And here is a plane ticket from Miami to Chicago on the day of your attack. It matches the Cullen's story that Edward was on his honeymoon around the same time."

"Why did you do this Jazz?" I asked. The information gave me relief, but I felt like we had invaded his privacy by gathering it.

"Honestly, Charlie called Liam on his way over to your house the day Carlisle and Esme showed up. He had been privately been looking into your case for years, and Charlie wanted him to have a jump start on everything. We forgot to tell him to call it off for a couple days what with everything that happened. He had already gathered the flight information by the time I showed up to tell him about the switch," Jasper replied, a little guilty. I know he doesn't like invading people's privacy, but I also know he would do it without question if it would help keep me safe.

"I'm just going to keep telling myself 'he's not my attacker' and 'he's not my son's father'," I said, and then I repeated it silently a couple of times.

"Yes, I was going to say that he's not Anthony's father, but he kind of is. He is also kind of Aiden's father. I got too confused trying to come up with a saying, so I'm glad you thought of something," Jasper said then we both busted out laughing.

"Mommy?" Anthony said, wandering in from the bedroom where he'd been napping.

"Hey buddy, come cuddle!" I said and he ran onto the couch and hugged me. It was exactly what I needed. This beautiful, loving, spunky little boy was my son and, as his mother, I needed to be strong to protect him.

As I sat here with my son on my lap, I took three deep breaths and tried to remember exactly what I was freaking out about.

"I love you Mommy," Anthony mumbled into my neck. That was all that I needed for my resolve to strengthen.

"Are you going to be good for Uncle Jazz tonight?" I asked him.

"Yeah, Ant. I thought we could order a pizza then go swimming. They have a pool here. How cool is that?" Jazz said trying to get him all excited and take his mind off the fact that I wasn't going to be around all night.

"Cool! A Pool!" he said as he hopped off my lap and started toward the bedrooms. "I need to practice my swimming so I can show Aunt Rosie next time!" And if I knew my son, he was going to run off to find his floaties and his swimsuit. Now that my son knows what he's wearing, what am I going to wear?

As if sensing my panic start to return, Jasper pulled my arm up and we followed Anthony into the bedrooms.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

I had a hard time finding the right outfit. I needed something that said strong, independent woman while also saying sweet, caring mother. Jazz was absolutely no help. My first choice was too casual. My second choice reminded him of the habit's nun's wear. Finally I settled on black pants. I wore my favorite royal blue top with a lightweight silver cardigan over it. I paired the outfit with a fun pair of strappy silver sandals. I think Rosalie would approve.

I haven't really dressed anyway but fairly casually and occasionally professionally since Anthony was born. I was ashamed of my body and afraid to show any skin at all in case it was interpreted as being provocative. I got rid of everything in my wardrobe I thought might send out 'look at me signals' as soon as I got home from the hospital after my attack, leaving nothing but my baggy, unflattering maternity wear. I'm not sure if I would even feel comfortable wearing something 'sexy' anymore because I haven't worn anything like that in years.

After walking Jasper and Anthony to the pool, I decided to head to the restaurant. We were having dinner at the hotel restaurant, but in a private dining room off to the side. At first I was worried that it would be too secluded and away from other patrons, and that I would feel cornered. But the hotel manager had let me scope out the room earlier, and it really was just another section of the dining room that would not be needed tonight, since it is a Tuesday. It also has an entrance onto the patio where other patrons could sit. Not that I think anything is going to happen, but my experiences have taught me to never walk into a room without knowing every possible way to get out.

I was also glad to see that the restaurant has its own entrance separate from the hotel, so Jasper and Anthony coming and going from the pool will not have the possibility of running into Edward as he arrives.

When I walked up to the hostess stand, the manager, who I was introduced to previously, was waiting for me and escorted me to the dining room. I sat down trying to figure something to do with my hands. I was just about to ask for a bottle of water when the manager returned with a tall man in tow.

My first thoughts were completely jumbled with mixed emotions. A part of me thought I had traveled to the future where I was looking into the face of my son. Another part of me was terrified of the man standing before me. He had a nervous look on his face. It was a look that I had come to know well, as my son does it often when he himself is nervous or afraid about something. That wasn't what scared me, though. It was the fact that up until two months ago, it was the face I expected to see when I came face to face with my attacker. I stood up to flee, but my legs wouldn't move. Fight or flight? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath at the same moment the man before me spoke.

"Isabella Swan?" he asked. I knew that voice. Edward! I knew it was him, and his voice brought me back. This is Aiden's father. Edward. He is not my attacker. He is Edward.

"Edward Cullen?" I asked as he came toward me to shake my hand. As he got closer, I realized why Carlisle and Esme never questioned Anthony's paternity. His hair was sticking in every which way possible but still looked like silk. The color was an odd shade of bronze close to Anthony's, except Anthony had more brown than Edward. Edward had his father's eyes, except his were a brilliant green that held so much warmth in them, much like Anthony's. Anthony's eyes are brown, though. Edward's face was sharp and chiseled, but not harsh, where Anthony still has his round baby face. Oh, I'm so going to have my work cut out for me when Anthony is a teenager if the man standing in front of me is any indication.

A clearing throat brought us both out of our musings. I realized then that we were both standing there staring at each other dissecting each other's features. The manager handed us both a menu and left to get us to our own.

"Please sit, Isabella."

"Bella, please," I reminded him.

"Yes, of course, Bella. I remembered that you preferred that, but wanted to make sure you hadn't changed your mind now that we are face to face," he replied. I noticed that he spoke like his father, very formally. And while in another situation I might rib on him for being so proper, the way he spoke was so Jane Austen, that I took comfort in it like I do her books.

"Thank you, Edward," I said looking away a little. I wasn't sure what to say. Here I was having a meal with the biological father of my son and the man who is raising my birth son. How do you have a normal conversation with something like that hanging over our heads?

"Why don't we order first, that way there will be less interruptions when we speak?" he inquired and I was relieved. It seems that he is feeling the same way I am.

Just then our waiter came over to take our drink orders. I asked for an unopened bottle of water, stilled or sparkling whatever he had, and a glass of ice. Edward gave me an inquisitive look at my choice but said nothing as he ordered himself lemonade. We browsed the entrée list for a couple minutes and ordered when the waiter returned with our drinks.

"I'll have the Mushroom Risotto but could you ask the chef to make it with vegetable stock. I'd also like a crab cake on the side, and ask the chef to broil it if that was not his plan," I said. I hated ordering in front of strangers. They always thought I was overly picky, but it's something common with chefs.

"Let me guess, you're a chef?" Edward asked with a smile on his face after ordering the prime rib, medium-rare.

"What gave me away?" I joked with him.

He smiled back at me, and it was a glorious smile. It turned up a little on the right so it was just a little crooked but it made his eyes shine.

"My sister dated a caterer and every time we went out he made sure to specify cooking instructions on everyone's meals at the table. But the funny thing was, most of the time he would just recite the menu back to the waiter. My brother and I learned to order by reading the descriptions of meals, rather than just the dish name."

I was concerned for a second that he didn't approve of my picky ordering style when I realized that he was just opening up and not showing censure.

"Well, if doctors make the worst patients, then chefs make the worst patrons."

He threw his head back and barked out a laugh. I'm glad that the awkwardness seemed to have left the table, but I still wasn't at ease quite yet. I bit my lip and looked toward the restaurant but I could still feel a small smile threatening to appear.

A gasp from Edward brought me out of my thoughts. I turned to look at him and this time it was me with the inquisitive look.

"I'm sorry, it's just, you look so much like Aiden when you bite your lip like that," he said, looking a little nervous. I was nervous too, but I'm glad he was the first one to bring the boys into conversation.

I offered him a small smile before I replied to the compliment. "You look so much like Anthony, period."

He ran his hands through his hair a few times. I noted that it didn't make it look any worse.

"Can you tell me about him?" he asked timidly. My heart sank and I started to feel so guilty. I was able to ask Esme some questions to get me through this time. He didn't have anyone to ask. I should have offered earlier.

"Well when you see him, there's no denying the switch. He's pretty much a mini you. He is the most wonderful little boy, so full of life. I also truly believe that he has a gift of knowing exactly what someone needs before they know it themselves. He's a total Momma's boy. He loves to help me cook. He just started taking piano lessons," I listed off. I could have continued all night, but Edward interrupted me.

"He has?" Edward inquired with surprise in his voice.

"Yes. He's quite talented at it already. His teacher told me he was the most naturally gifted student she's ever had," I replied proudly.

"My teacher said the same thing about me when I was his age," he said wistfully. My breath caught in my throat. I knew there would be things like this that would come up, but I hadn't expected them so soon.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked. I eagerly nodded hoping for more information about Aiden.

"My full name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," he said.

"What? No way!" I said shocked. "What are the odds?"

"The ironic thing is we were planning on naming our son Anthony, but when Tanya found out that another child was just born and was named Anthony, she refused. So we settled on Aiden Charles Cullen."

"Charles is my father's name." My comment caused Edward's eyes cut up to meet mine quickly.

"We choose Aiden because someone gave us a baby name book and when we started at the letter a, it was the first name we both liked. I knew I wanted Charles to be his middle name. It is honoring a friend of mine.

"How did you choose Anthony's name?" Edward asked.

"His full name is Anthony Thomas Swan," I said with a smile. Rosalie calls it my Mom smile. She said that it is the same smile all Moms get when talking about their children. It's a mixture of pride, wonder and love. "I always knew what his name would be. It was in homage to the two men who saved my life, Anthony Garcia and Samuel Thomas. It would have been Anthony Samuel, but I didn't want his initials to be ASS," I joked. I was hoping that he would just laugh and not ask about the men who saved my life, which he did, thankfully. That was not a story that I would share with a virtual stranger.

"Anthony Thomas," Edward said with reverence once he stopped chuckling. "Perfect."

"Lightening McQueen or Thomas the Tank?" I asked changing the subject before he could ask about the 'saved my life' part of the story.

"Cars all the way!" Edward replied with a laugh. "How about Anthony?"

"Oh he loves Cars. But he also is a huge fan of Finding Nemo and Ninja Turtles. In fact he wanted to be a Ninja Turtle for Halloween last year, but when he found out that my father, who is a police officer, was going to come and go trick-or-treating with him, he decided he wanted to be a policeman instead," I said. They were so cute going out in matching costumes, 'keeping the peace' as Anthony said. It is one of my favorite memories of Anthony's short life so far.

Edward gave me a wistful smile. "Aiden was the Cat in the Hat from Dr. Seuss. He loves those books!" He looked down then and that is when I noticed he was playing with his wedding ring. A pang entered my heart at the thought of another woman helping to raise Aiden, my birth son. This is going to be harder than I thought.

"Can I ask about Aiden's mother?" He had every right not to reply. I was uncomfortable with him possibly asking questions about Anthony's father, but I couldn't help being curious.

"She has not seen Aiden in two years. It's a very long and complicated story. And Anthony's father?"

"He is not in the picture. Never has been," I said trailing off as our food had arrived at the table.

Thankful for being saved by the risotto, I dug in and was pleasantly surprised it was prepared perfectly. I was busy enjoying my food when Edward called my name.

"Bella?" he asked and I looked up at him. His face was so heartbroken that I almost reached over to grab his hand to offer him some comfort. "You're not going to take Aiden away from me, are you?"

"God no!," I exclaimed immediately and honestly. I had been so afraid that Edward might want to take Anthony away from me, that I had never even considered that Edward might fear the same for Aiden."What made you think that? It's not at all what I want."

"Every child needs a mother, and right now he doesn't have one," He said bluntly.

"Well, Anthony does not have a father. Are you going to take him from me?" I retorted.

"Never," he replied. He looked right into my eyes as he said it as well, and I could feel it deep in my soul that he was telling the truth.

"How are we going to make this work, Bella?" he finally asked.

"I was Googling this a lot these past few weeks. It doesn't happen often, but most cases the children are switched back. In some cases one of the families takes both children. I won't let either of those happen," I said firmly. This time it was me staring Edward in the eye. I wanted him to understand that Anthony was my child and I would fight to the death for him.

We stared at each other for a couple minutes. I was trying to figure out what my next argument would be if he wasn't in agreement with my statement. After what seemed like forever, Edward released the breath he was holding and sat back.

"I don't want to change them back," he said picking up his fork to take another bite. "I just want the opportunity to get to know Anthony."

"And I would love nothing more than to get to know Aiden too. But as a family friend." I felt like now was the perfect opportunity to define the relationship I wanted to have with Aiden, and the one I hoped Edward would be amenable to have with Anthony. "I'm coming to terms with the fact that I won't be the person to raise the boy I gave birth to. I'm just so thankful that he has a loving family."

Edward smiled warmly at my comment and nodded his head in agreement. He cleared his throat before saying, "Friends of the family keep in touch through emails, Skype, phone calls, and maybe a visit once a year?"

"At least once a year," I relented with a smile and offered my hand to Edward to shake. "Deal?"

"Deal," he shook with a smile.

"How about we call the lawyers together after dinner? That way we can have them start to draw up the papers to make everything legal," I said. I knew Kate would kill me if I didn't get a deal like this in writing.

"I was thinking the exact same thing," he said with a smile as he sat back and picked his fork up again. "So, a funny story about Aiden …"

* * *

**A/N Please review and leave me some love. I'm hoping everyone is as excited as I was to FINALLY meet Edward. YAY. And just a little teaser – we'll meet Aiden next chapter. **

**I'm also going to go back and repost chapters 1-5. I'm working with my beta to fix all the issues that are there. **

**Plus, good news! I've already started Chapter 7, so I'm hoping I won't keep you waiting very long. But as always, no promises.  
**


	7. Chapter 7: Navy Pier

**AN I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter. It was actually a lot of fun to write. **

**Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. Your reviews are better than Red Bull to get me writing. I really truly read every one and while I didn't get to reply to everyone, I'm getting better at that. **

**I would like to thank JFish88 and Deebelle1 for helping me with another great chapter. I truly couldn't have done it without you two. **

**I have updated Chapters 1-5 to the beta'd versions. The changes were only really minor but I thought I'd let you know they're there just in case. **

**The usual disclaimer – the plot is mine. Anything else that you might recognize is not. I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just borrowed her characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

_Previously on Raising my son …_

"_Friends of the family keep in touch through emails, Skype, phone calls, and maybe a visit once a year?" _

"_At least once a year," I relented with a smile and offered my hand to Edward to shake. "Deal?"_

"_Deal," he shook with a smile. _

"_How about we call the lawyers together after dinner? That way we can have them start to draw up the papers to make everything legal," I said. I knew Kate would kill me if I didn't get a deal like this in writing. _

"_I was thinking the exact same thing," he said with a smile as he sat back and picked his fork up again. "So, a funny story about Aiden …"_

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Navy Pier**

After we were finished with our meals, we did a quick conference call with Kate and Edward's brother/lawyer, Emmett, to tell them the terms of our agreement so they could draw the papers up. I think they were both glad that an amicable decision was reached.

Edward and I spent the rest of the night talking about our boys. There were hard moments when he was telling me stories about Aiden and what a wonderful little boy he truly was. It is painful for me to think that he would always have these stories and moments throughout his life, and that I would not get to be there for them. It would be hard, but it's what is best for all of us.

We also talked a lot about how to introduce each other to the boys. It was already decided that we would be introduced as friends of the family. This led to a humorous encounter between Edward and myself.

"What should Aiden call you? Miss Bella?" he asked.

"Only if you would like to be known as Mr. Ed," I replied before we both started laughing.

"Bella and Edward it is then," he said, after we stopped laughing. "I like the sound of that."

One of the last things we had left to figure out was if we would go and spend the day just the four of us, or if the meetings should be between Edward and I with one of the boys. We decided that neither of us wanted to chance jealousy amongst our boys or hurt feelings. That made the choice for us and we decided to meet the boys individually on our first introductions.

Rosalie would be arriving on Thursday morning. It would be more convenient for Jasper and her to watch Anthony together. So, Anthony and I are going to spend the day with Edward tomorrow. Then, on Thursday I would meet Aiden for the first time. I was both nervous and excited to meet the little boy I carried in my womb, even if he wasn't meant to be my son now.

After our plans were complete, the manager for the restaurant came over to settle our bill and inform us that the restaurant would be closing soon. I looked at my phone shocked by the time; I couldn't believe that we had been talking for that long.

Edward moved to take his credit card out of his wallet and I did the same.

"No, Bella. I got this," Edward said as he went to slip his card in the billfold.

"Thank you for the thought, Edward. But I insist on paying for my own meal," I replied. I was uncomfortable with Edward paying for my meal, especially since he was kind enough to get us his family rate at this hotel.

"Please, Bella. No woman has paid for her own meal in my presence. My mother raised me better than that," he pleaded. He was staring at me so intently, that he hadn't even noticed that the manager had already walked off with the bill and both of our cards.

"Should we take a picture so Esme can put it in your book of firsts?" I retorted as I pointed to the now empty spot on the table. He cracked a little smile, his green eyes shining with laughter since he'd obviously been bested. He was just about to say something when the manager returned with our slips to sign.

"How did I miss that?" he finally asked. Although, I wasn't sure who he was asking.

"I'm just that good, sir," the manager responded before I could. And Edward and I both started laughing. Edward had one of those infections laughs. I couldn't help but crack a smile every time it I heard it now. It had been a long time since I had spent this much time laughing with someone outside my family.

After we left the restaurant, Edward walked me to the elevator. He promised to return at nine thirty the next morning and asked me to dress casually. Since I wasn't exactly sure what we were doing yet, I agreed with a nod, and then we said our goodnights.

I made it back to the hotel room to only to find Jasper asleep on the couch. As I was going to cover him with a blanket, he woke up.

"You were out late, young lady," Jasper said, his voice scratchy from sleep.

"Sorry. Let me go check on Anthony and then I'll tell you all about it," I said as I went to look in on my sleeping son. He looked so tiny on the king-size bed, but he was sleeping as he always slept – curled up in a ball clutching his stuffed Nemo fish. My heart ached with need. I wanted nothing more than to climb up there with him and clutch him to my chest, but I had already promised Jasper I'd talk. All of the emotions and adrenaline from earlier crashed down on me. I carefully sat on the edge of the bed just to look at him for a bit. I could see so much of Edward in him. "I love you so much, little man. Dream only happy dreams."

I kissed him on the forehead and pulled the covers up to his chin before going into the bathroom and getting myself ready for bed. After changing into some comfy PJs, I walked back into the living room. Jasper was waiting for me and had already gone and gotten me a bottle of water.

"Spill," he said firmly.

So I did. I told him about the uncanny resemblance between Edward and Anthony. We spoke for a little about how much my fears had been altered, and about the questions Anthony would ask in the future.

The only time I was interrupted was when I told Jasper about noticing Edward's wedding ring.

"Wait! I thought Esme called Aiden's mom, Edward's ex-wife?" Jasper asked.

"She did!" I exclaimed remembering. I had thought about it while we were at dinner, but I couldn't remember officially either way. That was why I'd only asked about Aiden's Mom and not his wife. "I wasn't sure, but you're right she had said that."

"I wonder what that's all about," Jasper thought out loud. I was wondering the same thing, but while speaking with Edward, I had other worries.

"I asked about Aiden's mother, and he said it was a long story. I didn't press though. I didn't want Edward to ask questions about Aiden's biological father," I said. It was true, there were a lot of things about Anthony's biological mother that I wanted to know, but I wasn't willing to ask until I was prepared to answer the questions about Aiden's paternity.

Jasper looked at me with sad eyes, so I continued detailing my evening. He didn't say a single word as I went through the rest of the night sharing some of the stories that Edward and I told. I also told him about our agreement and the call to Kate. I stopped even looking at him as I talked, I couldn't interpret his expressions and it was driving me crazy. When I finished telling him some of the stories that we shared we sat in silence for a couple minutes.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" Jasper asked. He had been so quiet that there was no way for me to anticipate what he wanted to know.

"Sure," I replied warily.

"Do you honestly believe that this friends of the family plan is going to work out? That you could just meet your biological son, spend a couple of days with him, then have life go back to normal?"

I took a minute to think before I answered. The easy answer was, of course, yes. But I knew this would be where my strength would come in, because I knew deep down, it wouldn't be easy. This wasn't about me or Edward right now. This is what I needed to do for my son, hell, I needed to do it for both Anthony and Aiden. It is the best thing for him―them, at least for the time being.

"It is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I have to think about Anthony first," I told him honestly. "I thought making the decision when I was five months pregnant to keep him was hard, you know? To raise him on my own and face all the questions I was sure he would ask when he was older, that would be the only major strife I'd face. Edward and I agreed easily, but―"

"But it's what's best for the boys," Jasper said, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"When Edward proposed seeing each other once a year, I knew that it would never be enough for me. That's why I amended it to be at least once a year. It'll still never be enough though. But what am I supposed to do, Jazz? Joint custody when we live on opposite sides of the country? Hand Anthony over to him for summer breaks to be raised by another family while Aiden maybe comes to me for summer breaks?

"When I walked into that restaurant, my main goal was to protect Anthony and his best interests because he's my son, biologically or not. I was so scared that he would be taken away from me, in any capacity, that I knew if Edward proposed meeting once and just sending a yearly picture, I would have taken it. I just needed to make sure that our decision was what is best for Anthony and Aiden. If Aiden's happy and loved that's all I need to know.

"It doesn't matter how hard it is going to be for me. It's been confusing and hard on me ever since the Cullens made an appearance in my life," I told Jasper. I will continue to tell myself that I could walk away from Aiden right now, but I know after I meet him, it'll only be that much harder.

"You are the strongest person I know," Jasper said, pulling me into a hug. "There have been days where I don't know how you've gotten out of bed. I hope you know how much I admire you. Just know that you can lean on me whenever you need."

I felt my tears falling onto Jasper's shoulder, tightening the hug because I couldn't let go just yet. I'm so scared and the questions floating through my head weren't helping. What if Anthony likes Edward better? What if he recognizes him? What if he can see how much they look alike? What if I'm making the wrong decision? What if…

"Stop!" Jasper exclaimed shaking me out of my panic and not-so-internal monologue . "Stop with the what if's. As a mother, you have and you will make mistakes. But as long as you keep Anthony's best interests in mind, everything will be ok."

I really hoped so.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

It took me forever to get to sleep. I ironed our clothing for the next day, not that it needed it. I also unpacked our bags, then repacked them in case we needed to leave quickly, and then finally unpacked them again. I was afraid to jinx myself.

Exhaustion finally took over, and I was able to fall asleep, though it wasn't restful at all. My dreams were filled with images of Anthony and Edward happy. They were playing together with another little boy, when they all ran over and jumped on a faceless woman who was lying on a chaise lounge. My heart was hammering in my chest at the image of this happy family. Was I denying Anthony the ability to grow up in a family with a father, by limiting our contact? And what about Aiden?

It was about six in the morning when I climbed out of bed. I would have tried to sleep some more seeing how it was entirely too early for someone who is used to Pacific Time, but I couldn't continue to toss and turn anymore and possibly wake Anthony. Edward was due to arrive at nine thirty and I felt like I needed time to prepare alone.

I went into the living room and curled up in the chaise lounge looking out over the window. The repercussions of a day like today were hitting me hard. My son would be spending time with his biological father. It was a day that I spent years praying would never happen, because that would have meant I had to face the man who made me a victim. I spent so long working on being a survivor and a mom for Anthony that I never truly wanted that day to come. I still don't know the outcome what of that day will be, but I'm afraid of what today will hold with Edward. If it doesn't work out well, what would that mean for any relationship I would like to have with Aiden? And if it does go well, is my son going to hate me years from now for limiting his time with his biological father? What if Anthony knows right away who Edward is, will he still want me in his life? The questions without answers continued to grow.

Edward and I are going to have to sit down and talk again after these next two days.

An hour and a half later, I went in to wake Anthony and I was surprised to find him crawling out of the bed. It was still early on the Pacific Coast, so I thought he would be almost impossible to wake early.

"Hey Buddy! Did you sleep well?" I asked kneeling down to hug him tightly, needing to feel him in my arms again.

"Yeah," he mumbled into my neck. "What we doing today?"

I picked him up and walked back to the chaise lounge to talk to him. I was going to take all of the cuddle time from him I could. "Well, my friend Edward is going to show us around the city. He has lots of fun things planned."

I wasn't exactly sure what Edward had planned. It was a last minute plan, so I hoped he has something fun planned otherwise Anthony might get irritable.

"Cool!" he said as he sounded like he was waking up a little bit more.

"So why don't we have some more snuggles then we'll go get you a bath. That way you can get all squeaky clean to meet my friend, Edward."

He nodded and we stayed like that for another twenty minutes. I had thought he had fallen back to sleep, when he spoke up, "Mommy, I'm hungry."

"I can handle that, Ant," Jasper spoke from the other side of the room. I was so lost in my world with Anthony that I never heard him come out of his room. "I was just about to order some room service. What are you hungry for?"

"Waffles!" he said bouncing up and down on my lap, making me laugh.

"Ok, you better hurry and get your bath, your waffles should be here when you're done," Jasper said walking over to the phone, getting ready to place the order.

"What do you say, Anthony?" I prompted.

"Thank you Uncle Jazz."

"Anytime, little man," Jasper replied as he held his hand out for a high five from Anthony. "Do you know what your mommy would like for breakfast?"

"Bacon!" Anthony shouted.

"No," Jasper and I started laughing. "What does Mommy usually eat for breakfast?" I asked.

"Sausage!" Anthony shouted. He was being really cheeky this morning. I just shook my head at him. "She likes oatmeal, but I don't like oatmeal." His face curled up in disgust at my usual breakfast choice.

Jasper and I couldn't help but laugh harder at his reasoning.

"How about we order your mom some oatmeal, and I'll order some bacon with my pancakes?" Jasper reasoned.

"Can I have some?" Anthony asked timidly looking up at Jazz before turning his puppy dog eyes at me. I quirked my eyebrow at him. "Please?

"If it's ok with Jasper," I prompted.

"Of course," Jasper replied.

"Thank you!" Anthony said running toward the bathroom.

"No running!" I shouted. I think he was just so excited to be in a new place. "Can you order us some fresh fruit too?" I could feel his nod as he pulled me into a hug. "Thanks Jazz."

Anthony's bath time went smoothly, for once. He's usually so excited to be in the water that it's almost impossible to get him out. I think he was excited to do something new, that he was more than willing to just bathe then get out of the bathtub. Jasper was right, the food was there by the time he was done. I got him dressed and then he went to eat with Jasper while I hopped into a quick shower.

After showering, I dressed and rushed through my breakfast before starting to pack my mom-bag. I wasn't exactly sure what we were going to be doing today, so I just had to be prepared for all possibilities. I was able to keep my hands busy until I heard a knock on the door. Jasper looked up at me. I had Edward meet us up here because I wanted the introductions to happen in someplace private. I also knew Jasper would want to meet him before we left for the day.

"Jazz, could you go and get Anthony's shoes on for me?" I asked. Jasper knew what I wanted, so he took Anthony into the other room and shut the door.

I walked toward the door to the suite and took a deep breath before looking through the peephole just to be sure. Edward was on the other side of the door running his hand through his hair and I could visibly see him taking deep breaths to try to relax. Glad I wasn't the only one freaking out, I unlocked all of the locks and turned the handle to let him in.

As soon as the door was partially open, Edward straightened himself up to look at me. I noticed he glanced down toward my legs and behind me before looking me in the eye, obviously looking for Anthony already.

"Good morning, Bella," he said stiff and formally.

"Come on in, Edward," I replied as I stepped aside to let him in. "Good morning to you, too."

We didn't walk much further than the entryway. After the door shut I turned and looked at him and stopped in my tracks. He was putting a hat on. I was almost disappointed that his beautiful hair was covered when I realized its importance. He must have seen my initial question because he explained himself before I could ask.

"If we look as much alike as you described I was worried if Anthony realized we looked similar he'd ask too many questions," he explained. "I thought the hat might help at least delay some of the questions until we were ready to answer them."

"That same thought kept me up late last night, well that and many other questions too. Kids are smart, especially Anthony, and I was worried that the questions would be asked before we knew exactly how to answer them," I agreed. "I think the hat will help, at least for now." It is not as if he could constantly wear a hat around Anthony, nor will it stop Anthony from noticing the similarities. I just hope it was enough to give us time before those questions are asked.

"Can I ask what you have told him about today?" Edward asked.

"I told him my friend Edward was going to show us the city," I said with a shrug. I didn't want to make a big deal about the day to Anthony. "What are we doing today anyway?"

"I didn't plan too much, but I thought we could go to the Navy Pier and walk around. There's a lot to do for kids. They also have boat tours. You said he loves the water, so I thought he might enjoy something like that. Do you think he'll like that?" Edward asked.

He seemed so nervous, but then again, so was I.

"That'll be great, Edward. Thank you for thinking about what he might enjoy in your plans," I replied honestly. Deep down, I knew he would think about what kids would like to do in picking the activities for the day. But to choose the boat tour and the Navy Pier because he heard how much Anthony enjoys the water, really made an impact on me I hadn't expected.

He just gave me a slight smile in response before shoving his hands in his pockets and looking nervously behind me. It was apparent he was looking for Anthony.

"I guess this is it, then," I said as I started for the other room. "I'll just go and get him." I heard him following behind me, then stop at my words, realizing I would bring Anthony out to him. I walked into the bedroom where Anthony and Jasper were waiting for me.

"Hey little man, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked as I went to sit on the bed next to him. Jasper got up and started for the living room. I knew he was going to introduce himself to Edward and speak for a bit. Anthony just looked up at me with his big brown eyes. There's no turning back now. "My friend, Edward, is in the other room and he's very excited to spend the day with us. I would like for you to be on your best behavior."

His only response was to nod at me as he got off the bed as if to say 'let's just go, Mom!'

"I love you, so much, you know that right?" I said as I drew him to me and hugged him.

After I pulled back to look into his eyes, he just patted my cheeks and said, "I love you, too, Mommy," before giving me a giant smile. I stood up and took his hand to lead him into the living room where Edward was waiting for us.

I was watching for his face when we walked into the room. His eyes got really big as his hand went to cover his mouth, but he stopped. I could see the emotions fly across his face but he was trying to keep them at bay, which I was grateful for. I don't know how open Anthony would be around Edward if Edward were a blubbering mess.

"Anthony, this is my friend I was telling you about, Edward," I said looking down at Anthony. I glanced back up at Edward before saying, "Edward, this is Anthony."

Edward looked up at me, and I could tell that it took effort to look away from Anthony. He gave me a smile before kneeling down to speak with Anthony.

"It's nice to meet you, Anthony. Your mom has told me a lot about you," Edward said.

"Yeah?" Anthony asked looking up at me. I just smoothed his hair down and gave him a smile.

"Oh yeah, she's your biggest fan," Edward said capturing Anthony's attention.

"She's cool like that," Anthony said with a shrug. It was everything we needed to lift the tension because everyone broke out into laughter. The way he said it was just so blasé.

"I'm cool like that, huh?" I asked down at Anthony with a smile. He looked up with me with his crooked, mischievous smile. I heard Edward's tiny gasp at Anthony's smile, it was his first time seeing it. "Well, I think you're cool like that too, _my_ little man."

"So what do you cool kids have planned for the day?" Jasper asked. I knew he was asking partially out of curiosity, but I knew he also wanted to know so that if I needed him, he would know where to go.

Edward stood up and took his eyes off of Anthony to answer Jasper.

"I thought we would head down to the Navy Pier. There's lots of food, an arcade, a small amusement park, and maybe we can take a tour of the city on a boat!" He said with excitement in his voice. "Does that sound like fun?"

"What kind of boat?" Anthony asked excitedly. And with that, Edward, had completely won my son over and my worry increased. He was visibly excited about the prospect of spending time on a boat with Edward, and all of the questions came back to me full-force, especially when Anthony took Edward's hand and pulled him toward the door.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Fifteen minutes later we were pulling up at the Pier. Edward had arranged for the hotel's transportation services to drive us to the Pier. I was going to complain to Edward when he told me about the arrangement, but apparently it's a free option the hotel offers their VIP guests. Not to mention, it was just too far to walk, and apparently parking nearby is extremely difficult. He was just thinking about making it easy on Anthony, and I couldn't argue with that.

The whole drive over Edward and Anthony spoke about boats and the boat ride that we could take today. Anthony wanted to know about the size of the boat, how many people could fit on it, and more. He asked just about every question you could think of under the sun about the boat. Edward was more than happy to answer his every question. When Anthony had the full schematics of the boat, Edward asked Anthony about the boats that he has ridden on. Anthony told him about fishing with Poppa Charlie and the boat they usually take. It's a small speedboat that really only fits Charlie, Anthony and one other person comfortably. But he also told Edward about the Ferryboats that we often have to take to get around Seattle and to visit Forks. They were still talking when we arrived.

Edward jumped out of the car as I started getting Anthony out of the car seat. Edward had the hotel place it between us, I believed so he could watch all of Anthony's facial expressions. He came over and opened my door and helped Anthony out, and then he grabbed my hand and helped me out too.

"Thank you," I said quietly to Edward. It was a testament to his character that even in the most difficult situations, he remained a true gentleman.

I squatted down and spoke firmly, "Now, Anthony, there will be a lot of people around us, and lots to see. I want you to stay close to Edward and me. If you run off away from me, we will go back to the hotel room."

Anthony just nodded at my words looking down toward the ground. I wasn't sure if I was truly getting through to him, so I had to continue.

"I mean it, Anthony. We will go back to the room, even if we haven't gone on the boat yet," I said firmly, the thought of him being taken away from me in any capacity was at the forefront of my mind.

"Ok, Mommy," Anthony said. I knew he truly understood because he looked directly at me when he said it.

"Are we ready?" Edward asked next to me. I nodded and reached for Anthony's hand. But it was Anthony who reached for Edward's hand as well. I heard Edward breathe in a stuttering breath, emotional at Anthony's innocent gesture. It was something that he usually does when walking with two adults, but I knew it meant more than that to Edward. "So what do we want to do first?"

"To the boat!" Anthony said excitedly. So we started walking the Pier. Being so little, Anthony could easily be distracted and got excited as soon as he saw the fountain near the entrance. "Mommy! Mommy! Look at the fountain. Can we go see it?" He didn't give me the opportunity to answer before pulling us in that direction.

It is a beautiful fountain that sits in front of the entrance to the Pier. It has a square structure in the middle that holds several fountain streams that are continuously running. But it was the water periodically shooting out of the floor that really caught Anthony's eye. I had to catch him before he ran right into them and soaked himself.

"Anthony stop! Don't get too wet, it's still early in the day," I said trying to hold him back from playing in the fountain.

"But Mommy!" he wined.

"We can come back and play later, little man," I said. He looked up at me and gave me his best puppy dog eyes. When I just shook my head, he turned them on Edward. In the past, he's had some luck changing my mind when I say no to something when we're out with Jasper or Rosalie if he gets them on his side. Not expecting the full on Anthony pout, Edward's eyes got wide. I could tell he wanted to give Anthony anything he wanted, but also didn't want to step on my toes.

"I think you should listen to your mom, Anthony. Mom's know best," he said. I was thankful that he was taking my side on this. Anthony wasn't having it, I could tell he wasn't ready to give up that easily. He really wanted to play in the fountain. "I think I heard that they don't let people who are wet on the boat, anyway."

Anthony's eye's got really big. I could tell that he was deciding between playing in the fountain now and not getting to go on the boat, or going on the boat then playing in the fountain later.

"Later?" he asked.

"Later," I said. I did have a small towel in my mom bag, so getting wet before we went back to the hotel would be ok.

"Anthony, look!" Edward said trying to distract his attention away from the fountain. "There's a Ferris Wheel, have you ever been on one?"

"Not that big!" Anthony said in awe, the diversion working. Edward smiled over at me as we lead Anthony toward the giant Ferris Wheel.

Pier Park was this quaint little amusement park on the pier. It had a Ferris Wheel, a Carousel and a couple other small rides. I could see Anthony's excitement grow as we neared the park. Edward led us immediately towards the line for the Ferris Wheel. I was about to protest getting in the line without tickets when Edward produced a pack of ride tickets.

"When did you get those?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not a big fan of lines, and these can be purchased online, so I got them this morning before I left my house," he explained.

"How much do I owe you?" I asked reaching into my bag.

"Nothing, Bella," he replied. "Please let me do this. I would like to pay for this day with Anthony and you."

The day was already too emotionally charged to start an argument this early and I didn't want Anthony to see us fight. Plus, I was sure I could find a way to pay for his lunch or something.

"I'm sure there will be other purchases today that I can pay for, so you've won this one, Cullen," I relented.

The line for the Ferris Wheel was quicker than expected. Since the park was fairly empty today, we were able to get our own gondola. Anthony sat with his face glued to the window waiting for the ride to get going. I'm not a big fan of heights, so I took the opportunity to get some pictures of Anthony and while avoiding the view to the best of my ability.

"Would you like for me to take a picture of the two of you?" Edward asked.

"Please," I smiled. Anthony turned around then and cuddled into my side.

"Say 'flying monkey'," Edward prompted. Anthony started laughing and then I did too, clearly we'd been expecting Edward to ask to say cheese.

"Flying monkey," Anthony and I laughed together. Edward passed the camera back to me and I glanced at the picture he had taken. He captured the moment perfectly. I knew it would be an image I would treasure for years.

"Bella, would you mind―never mind," Edward said, shaking his head and went back to pointing out some to the buildings and other things for Anthony to see. I knew what Edward was going to ask, and I also knew that tomorrow I might be in a similar situation where I would like a picture with Aiden.

"Edward, would you like a picture with Anthony?" I asked extending an olive branch.

"Yeah!" Anthony cheered. He loves getting his picture taken. Anthony slid over on the seat toward where Edward was sitting.

I tried to think of something for them to say, but they really didn't need my prompting. Their smiles were bright enough to light up the city. So I just counted to three before taking the picture. I just hope my shaking hands didn't cause it to be blurry.

As I brought the camera back down, Anthony went back to looking at everything he could see and asking Edward, what it was. I glanced down at the picture that had turned out perfectly. My emotions were everywhere and my eyes watered.

Turning the camera so that Edward could see as well, I said, "I'll be sure to send you copies."

"Thank you, Bella," Edward said with audible emotions. He turned back to the city and wiped under his eyes, stopping any errant tears from falling.

After the Ferris Wheel, the three of us rode the carousel. I was just about to head toward the swing when Edward started steering us toward a small pond where they had remote control boats that you could race. "He won't be tall enough for the swings," Edward said.

Edward and Anthony raced their boats at least a half a dozen times, while I took some more pictures. I tried to participate during the first race, but after I kept crashing into the wall, the attendant kindly asked me to either stop racing or the boat would break. Anthony could not stop laughing at me. He just looked up at me and said, "Mommy, if we ever get a boat, maybe I should drive."

Luckily after Anthony won, again, he declared that he was hungry. We decided to walk up the Pier a bit and eat at Bubba Gump's Shrimp.

"They have a pretty good kids menu here," Edward stated as we were walking.

"Really?" Anthony asked looking up at Edward.

"Yeah, it's one of my son's favorite places to eat," Edward said excitedly.

"You have a son?" Anthony asked with big eyes. Edward and I stopped walking. We hadn't really talked about how to address this situation. But since Edward brought it up, I was hoping he would know how to deal with this.

"I do. He's four, just like you!" Edward replied.

"Cool! Where is he?" Anthony asked looking around like he would magically appear.

"Aiden's with my mom today," Edward said. I could tell where these questions were going, so I decided to step in and help Edward out.

"Maybe before we go back to Washington, we can spend some time with both Edward and his son, Aiden. Would you like that, Buddy?" I asked as I knelt down to look at him.

"Awesome!" Anthony said, and he really did look excited.

"Great! Now let's go get some shrimp!" Edward said excitedly shooting me a grateful look once we started walking again.

At lunch, Anthony took center stage and talked our ears off. Edward didn't need to ask any questions to get to know him. Anthony was more than willing to share anything and everything.

I did have my first near panic attack, though. Edward started to excuse himself to use the restroom, but before he could leave the table, Anthony asked to go with him. It was something he usually asked Jasper or my dad when they were with us. He had figured out the girls room and boys room issue a couple months ago at pre-school and now takes any opportunity he can to go into the boys room instead of having to use the girls room with his mom. Edward's eyes got wide and he looked to me. I could tell he was more than willing, but wouldn't agree without my approval for which I was grateful.

In that split second, I had visions of Edward taking this opportunity to run off with Anthony and leave me sitting there.

I think Edward could see the nerves in my eyes because he pointed toward the bathrooms, which were in plain view, letting me know that they wouldn't be far out of my line of sight. I relented then, not because I truly wanted to, but because I knew this would have to be one of those moments where I needed to be strong and trusting. Anthony would pick up on the tension between us immediately if I refused.

"Please wash your hands when you're done," I said. I watched them the whole way and kept my eyes laser beamed on the door while they were gone. The waitress interrupted my staring with our drinks, but I still kept the door in my peripherals. When she asked if there was anything else she could get us, I decided to hand her my credit card to pay for lunch.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I don't understand. You haven't received your meals yet," she questioned.

"The gentleman I'm with always tries to pay for lunch. I'm giving you my card so that you can charge it now, rather than when we're done with our meals. That way he won't have the opportunity to try to pay," I answered.

"Um, ok," she replied. She either still didn't understand or she couldn't comprehend why a woman would want to pay for a meal when a man was willing.

Anthony and Edward returned shortly after the waitress had with my signed receipt. I may have also over-tipped her as an incentive for continued good service. Anthony spent the rest of lunch telling us about all his friends at pre-school. Edward hung on his every word, soaking up as much information as Anthony would share.

At one point they had gotten into a heated debate about the characters of Anthony's favorite movie _Cars_. Edward thought Lightening McQueen was the coolest while Anthony loved Mater. What Edward didn't know was that Anthony thought my old truck looked like Mater's non-tow-truck brother. It still ran and was sitting in front of Charlie's house, but I had to give it back to my dad after realizing that it would be unsafe for a child's car seat. Anthony always had a love for Mater because of my old rust-bucket.

We finished eating and Edward asked the waitress for the bill as he reached into his pocket. When she told him it had been taken care of he looked to me.

"When did you manage that?" he asked stunned.

"When you were in the bathroom with Anthony," I said, smirking a little at having pulled one over on him.

"Oh it's on now, Swan!" Edward said as he stood up and I laughed.

We had about thirty minutes until the next boat tour started. There were many tours to choose from, but Edward had chosen the speedboat tour when he purchased the tickets this morning before he came to the hotel, thus proving he one upped me again. He thought it would give Anthony a thrill while still touring the city from the lake. We decided to sit on a park bench and wait for our tour to start. Anthony was a few yards in front of us playing with a small ball that I kept in my mom bag. It keeps him entertained in times like this.

"Thank you for today, Bella," Edward said next to me.

I glanced up at him quickly, not completely taking my eyes off of Anthony. He was staring right at Anthony watching him play. He was completely captivated by him and I wondered if I would be like this tomorrow with Aiden.

"I'm just glad that everything is working out so well. He is having a great day," I said.

"He is truly a wonderful child. You have raised a smart, well-mannered, beautiful boy, and for that I couldn't be more grateful," Edward said softly. I didn't really know how to respond.

"I'm his mom, and that's what we mom's do, we love completely and with our whole hearts. He's made it pretty easy on me," I said looking up at him again so he could see my sincerity. He looked a little pained, but before I could ask what was wrong I heard Anthony's cry.

Edward and I sprung up from our seat, my heart was pounding in my chest. I had only looked away for a split second. I was so mad at myself because I had to ask Anthony what happened. I should have never taken my eyes off of him.

"It's wet, I slipped," he cried. I could see a small gash on his knee already, so I picked him up and made my way back over to the park bench. He was holding onto his knee and crying so hard that when I got to the bench, I just held him and tried to soothe him so he could calm down.

"I'll go get a First Aid kit," Edward said next to me.

"No need," I replied pointing to my mom bag. He picked my bag up and brought it over toward me so I could get the small First Aid kit out of it.

"Anthony, I'm a doctor. Would it be ok with you if I looked at your cut?" Edward asked kneeling down in front of us.

"No! I only want my mommy!" Anthony wailed. I didn't have to have my eyes on Edward to know that it was hard for him to hear that. I knew I could handle the scrap, but since Edward wanted to help, I was going to let him.

"I'm right here, Anthony. But I can't see your knee while you're sitting on my lap," I said to him as he started calming down. "How about you stay on my lap while Dr. Edward looks at your knee? Or you can sit on the bench yourself so I can look at it with him. It's your choice, Buddy."

He held onto me tighter but let go of his knee. Edward was fast to react with a wet-nap from the kit that I'd handed him, so that Anthony didn't get blood all over himself. Edward worked quickly on his knee as I was finally able to calm him down.

"How's that feel, Ant?" Edward asked after the Band-Aid was securely on his knee.

"It still hurts," Anthony mumbled.

"Well, I know just what you need," I said, sliding Anthony off my lap and going to kneel down in front of him so I could reach his knee. "You need some Mommy magic!" I exclaimed as I kissed his Band-Aid. "And you need some tickle magic!" I said as I reached over to tickle him.

He started laughing and when he finally started to push me away, I knew he would be ok. I looked over to Edward who had cleaned up the bandage wrappings for us and I swore I saw him wipe a tear from his eye.

"You ok now, Ant?" Edward asked after Anthony had calmed down.

"Yes, thank you, Edward" he said getting up off the bench to hug Edward.

"Anytime, Anthony. Anytime," Edward said. And this time he couldn't hide the tears from me. I just offered him a small smile before looking toward the boats.

It wasn't long until we were putting on our life vests and boarding the boat. The boat wasn't very full so we got our choice of seats. Edward led us to the front row, stating that they're the best seats, and we sat down with Anthony in between us. I was somewhat scared to be on a fast boat with Anthony, but when I saw there were also seatbelts, I felt more at ease.

The boat ride was a lot fun. I spent most of the time snapping pictures while Anthony kept laughing at the speed. Edward was a better tour guide than the actual tour guide, but that might be because he was pointing out things that would be extra interesting to Anthony or that were more personal to himself.

After the boat ride, I let Anthony play in the fountain. He was already a little wet from the boat, so I couldn't see an issue with that. Plus, it gave me a good excuse to get him back to the hotel for and down for a nap. There wasn't much more we could do on the Pier especially since he was now already so wet.

It ended up working out perfectly because by the time the car arrived to pick us up, Anthony was getting a little crabby. On the short drive back to the hotel, Anthony fell asleep in the car seat. After carefully getting him out of his car seat so as not to wake him, we walked into the hotel. I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. We had talked about spending the day together, but I wasn't sure if the day ended here or not. Plus, I was sure he has other obligations with Aiden.

"Bella?" Edward called to me softly, breaking me out of my musings. "Would it be a terrible imposition if I asked if we could have dinner together? I would like to spend more time with Anthony and I'm not sure when I'll get to have another day like today."

I understood what he was saying, we had really only spoken about spending a single day together with each of the boys. We hadn't really talked much further beyond that besides saying that we would remain in contact.

"I think Anthony would like that very much, Edward," I said as we walked to the elevator. I looked up at him once we were in the elevator. Edward was a perfect gentleman, pushing buttons and opening doors. As we walked toward my hotel room I spoke again, "I'm not sure what you might have planned for tonight. You've already worn him out with the adventure filled day."

He laughed a quiet laugh. "Maybe we could just order a pizza and watch a movie?"

"That sounds nice," I said.

We arrived at the hotel suite with little incident. There was a moment when I was worried about how I would get my key out from the back pocket of my pants while holding Anthony. But our timing was perfect, Jasper was just returning from the gym at the same time. So he was able to open the door for us all.

I excused myself to the bedroom to change Anthony and lay him down. He didn't wake up, not that I expected him to. I needed a couple minutes to myself, so I stayed with Anthony for a little before using the restroom to clean up myself.

After taking a couple minutes, I headed back toward the living room where I could hear Jasper and Edward speaking. I heard Edward telling him about our day and everything we did. He sounded so excited that it was hard not to smile at Edward's obvious joy.

"It sounded like it was a great day for all three of you," Jasper said when Edward detailed Anthony playing in the fountain.

"It truly was," Edward said with a far off look in his eyes. "If you'll excuse me for a minute, I'd like to call my mother and check on Aiden."

Jasper and I nodded as I motioned toward the patio so he could have some privacy. Once the doors were shut again, Jasper turned to me and gave me a hug.

"What's that for?" I asked after he released me.

"You look like you needed it," he replied.

"It was a hard day and felt impossible at times. But I think I worked it up more in my mind. Plus I've had harder days. They got along great, and I couldn't have asked for a better day," I said with a shrug. "It was difficult to deal with all the emotions, especially when Anthony was so full of life and enjoying the time with Edward. I tried to just enjoy the moments and not think about the implications of the day."

"My little Bella's growing up," he said as he faked wiping a tear.

"Jerk!" I yelled as I hit him with a pillow from the couch.

The rest of the evening was quiet but lots of fun. Edward ended up ordering us some of his favorite deep-dish pizza for us all to enjoy. It's what Chicago's know for, after all. When Anthony wasn't too impressed with the movie selections, we ended up playing card games for the rest of the night.

We started playing Old Maid and Memory, which was Jasper's forte. But Edward was the hit of the night when he taught us all how to play Tongues. The object of the game was to keep four cards in your hand at all times and pass cards from player to player. Once a player has four of a kind in his or her hands, they stick out their tongue. If you notice someone else sticking out his or her tongue you can also stick out your tongue. The last person to stick out their tongue loses.

It was almost impossible to be discrete when playing with Anthony because as soon as he saw someone with his or her tongue out, he would start giggling. Not to mention, he has a tendency to stick his tongue out when concentrating really hard.

It left all four of us laughing most of the night. Anthony was completely wound up and practically bouncing off the walls. I knew that it was going to be almost impossible to get him to sleep when Edward swooped in and saved the day.

"Anthony have you ever played Sardines?" he asked with exaggerated enthusiasm. I was about to interject and say no but he winked at me.

"No," Anthony exclaimed with excitement at the possibility of a new game.

"It's a lot like hide-n-seek. You go and hide and we'll try to find you. As we find you, we have to hide with you until we're all hiding in the same place," Edward explained. I was starting to catch on, so I nudged Jasper and we smiled up at Anthony.

"Awesome!" Anthony explained.

"Ok, we'll cover our eyes and start counting. You go hide, but no going outside this hotel room," Edward explained as we all covered our eyes.

After he counted out loud to forty, he looked over at us to explain.

"It used to work on me all the time when I was young. I would stay so long in a hiding place that by the time the last person found me I was asleep," he said with a small smile. "I would have just left so you could try to put him down, but I don't think he would have calmed down anytime soon."

"Thank you, Edward," I said reassuringly. "I think this might work perfectly."

And it did. Jasper was the first one to find Anthony. He had hid in Jasper's room in the closet. When Jasper crawled in the closet with him, he made Anthony get on his lap so it would be more comfortable. Edward found him next and by the time I had found the three of them, Anthony was asleep with his body on Edward's lap but his feet stretched out on Jasper's.

I was able to pick him up and get him in bed without incident after that.

"Bella? May I say goodnight to him?" Edward asked shyly. "I promise not to wake him."

I just gave him a small nod. I could relate to how hard this was on him. I haven't met Aiden yet and I already knew it would be just as hard to say goodbye for me. I left the room to give him a minute but left the door open incase something happened.

"Rosalie texted you and asked for you to call her before you go to bed," Jasper said when he saw me exiting the room.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Edward left about fifteen minutes after Anthony fell asleep. We spoke briefly about the plan for tomorrow and Edward gave Jasper a couple of suggestions of things he could do with Anthony and Rosalie the next day.

I went to call Rosalie after Jasper went to bed. She had an 11:30pm flight to Chicago which would put her arrival in around 5:30am Central Time.

"Hey," she yawned, as she answered after the third ring. "Sorry, I was just napping a bit before heading to the airport."

"Do you want me to let you go? We can talk when you arrive in the morning," I asked. I was emotionally exhausted so I wouldn't have minded delaying this conversation.

"No," she said. "I needed to talk to you for a reason."

"Okay," I prompted, curious what wouldn't wait until she saw me tomorrow.

"You need to look at those pictures now," she said. I knew what she was talking about. I've been carrying the small photo album in my purse since I'd originally spoke with Esme. But I've never been able to look at the pictures of Aiden. I knew it would change a lot and I was scared.

"What? Why? I'm going to meet him tomorrow," I argued.

"Bella, you're going to be extremely emotional when you meet him tomorrow. You'll probably be a blubbering mess. You'll scare the poor kid away if you don't at least prepare yourself a little. Just look at the pictures and that way tomorrow won't be as shocking." She had a point, but I was still scared. "It'll give you a chance to get your emotions under control before you meet him. You can cry, sob those big fat tears even, tonight. But you need to look at those pictures before tomorrow."

"I'm scared," I admitted. I was scared that he'll look like someone I never wanted to see. Or that he'll look like me and I wouldn't want to let him go. I wasn't sure how to put my fears into words she could understand.

"I know you are, Bella. But tomorrow you'll come face to face with the boy that you carried inside you. You're going to meet the boy that grew for nine months under your heart. He is not something to fear, but something to celebrate," she spoke in an earnest voice. "It's the situation that has you afraid, not Aiden. But you need to look at those pictures. It's only going to make you that much stronger for tomorrow when it comes to spending time with him."

"You're right," I said, thankful she was able to form the words I couldn't and address what I was afraid of. I went over to my purse and pulled out the photo album. "Will you just stay on the line while I look at them?"

"Of course," she said. Sitting back on the couch and getting comfortable, I placed the photo album on my lap while holding the phone in my other hand. I took a deep breath and looked down at the navy blue photo album. Rosalie interrupted my internal debate, "Just open it!"

"Fine," I sighed. I stuck my finger in between the pages to open the book to a random place. When I looked down, I saw a beautiful child staring back at me. He had a hat on his head and there is a cake in front of him with a big number three on it. It must have been from his third birthday. I was trying to look everywhere but his face, studying every inch of the picture until there was nothing else for me to look at.

"Oh my god," I said when I finally looked at his face. He looks a lot like Charlie. His brown hair, short, but curly. He has my shy smile on his face, as if he wasn't quite excited with being the center of attention. His eyes are also brown, like Anthony's, but the shade of brown is closer to my chocolate shade. He looks so happy with his shy smile and sparkling eyes. But I knew now, by looking only at this photo, and after meeting Edward, how right Carlisle and Esme were. I could see what they meant and it was obvious that the switch really did happen.

"Aiden," I said, tracing his face in the picture. "My son is so beautiful."

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**AN – I'd love to hear what you think! Please review!**

**Don't hate me too much for ending it there! The chapter was already so long and since we couldn't get to the day with Aiden I had to end it there. **


	8. Chapter 8: Meeting My Birth Son

**A/N: Are you still there? I'm so sorry this took so long. I have excuses, but it shouldn't matter to you because there's a whole lot of chapter below. And the truth of it is a combination of real life and the fact that this chapter just wasn't up to my standards until recently.**

**First a couple quick notes. I love my readers. You have literally doubled my reviews in just one chapter. I loved reading each and every one of your reviews. **

**I would like to thank JFish88 and Deebelle1 for keeping me writing when life got in the way. You both did an amazing job with this chapter, and I couldn't be more excited to finally post it! Also if you have some free time, check out Deebelle1's recently completed story The Lucky Ones. It's a great story about two people finally finding love. **

**Some good news at the bottom, so I'll let you get to it.**

**The usual disclaimer – the plot is mine. Anything else that you might recognize is not. I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just borrowed her characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_Previously on Raising my son …_

_When I looked down, I saw a beautiful child staring back at me. He had a hat on his head and there is a cake in front of him with a big number three on it. It must have been from his third birthday. I was trying to look everywhere but his face, studying every inch of the picture until there was nothing else for me to look at._

_"Oh my god," I said when I finally looked at his face. He looks a lot like Charlie. His brown hair, short, but curly. He has my shy smile on his face, as if he wasn't quite excited with being the center of attention. His eyes are also brown, like Anthony's, but the shade of brown is closer to my chocolate shade. He looks so happy with his shy smile and sparkling eyes. But I knew now, by looking only at this photo, and after meeting Edward, how right Carlisle and Esme were. I could see what they meant and it was obvious that the switch really did happen._

_"Aiden," I said, tracing his face in the picture. "My son is so beautiful."_

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Meeting My Birth Son**

I spent the rest of the night studying the pictures that Esme had left for me in the photo album. There weren't that many pictures, but each image was further proof to my heart and my head that I had another child out there. A biological child that looked so much like me. There was even a picture of Aiden biting his lip in concentration as he was coloring a picture. I knew that face well, as I also had a tendency to bite my lip.

I examined every inch of the photographs in great detail, until I was certain I could recall each one in my mind when I closed my eyes. I cried over every new detail that I could assume about Aiden. I guessed that he was shy because there were pictures of him hiding behind someone's legs. But he was still a happy little boy. In every photo I had, he was smiling with bright, shining eyes. When he appeared to be laughing you could practically count his teeth since his smile was that big.

All of the pictures were fairly recent, most likely taken within the past year. I still didn't know what he looked like as a baby or even as a small toddler. But I was thankful to Rosalie for encouraging me to look at these pictures. I needed to get all of my tears out of the way before I met him tomorrow. Or I guess today by this point now that it was well after midnight.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to the squeaky wheels on Rosalie's suitcase when she came into the hotel room. I was still on the couch clutching the photo album in my arms.

She looked over when I started to sit up. We just looked at each other for a while. Rosalie was probably trying to gauge whether or not I was going to burst out in tears, but I was just glad she was finally here.

"Thanks for coming," I said as she came over and sat next to me on the couch.

"Let me see those pictures! I've been dying to crack open that album for months now, but was stuck waiting for you," Rosalie said as I laughed.

I was happy to share this with her. Although I didn't know a single story about any of the pictures the album held, I shared them like a proud Momma and described each of them to her as she looked for herself. About halfway through the album Jasper joined us on the couch and the three of us looked at the pictures of my son-Edward's son, Aiden, while I pointed out our similarities and shared my assumptions about him. I had to try and separate my feelings now, even though I was pretty sure it would be impossible.

"Bells, do you think we could meet him?" Rosalie asked staring down at one of my favorite pictures. It was of Aiden in a little apron that had a picture of the cookie monster on it. In one hand he had a wooden spoon that he had obviously just been eating from. He had brownie batter all over his face and hands and flour all over his hair. He was obviously enjoying himself and I was very excited that he seemed to enjoy cooking as much as I did.

"I'll talk to Edward about it today, but I don't see why not. I'm sure his parents and siblings would also like to meet Anthony," I agreed. "Here, you can keep looking through these, I'm going to go check on Anthony."

I needed some time with Anthony, I had spent all night looking at pictures and thinking about Aiden. It was a struggle I was having, caught between two sons. Every time I start thinking about Aiden, I feel like I have wronged Anthony. That I am not one-hundred percent switched into his needs, that he doesn't have my complete attention. I am the only parent he has ever had. I needed to work twice as hard to make sure I was enough for him, to do the work of a mom and dad.

But my traitorous brain and heart wouldn't let me not think about Aiden, the little boy I spent months growing, talking to, singing to, loving, even before I saw his face or heard his voice.

I truly was caught between two sons.

I walked into the bedroom where Anthony was still asleep, curled up with his stuffed Nemo, as he was every night. I walked over to the other side of the bed and crawled into it. I was just going to watch him sleep for a while, but he must not have been as deeply asleep as I had thought. He turned as I pulled the covers up around me and came to my side to cuddle.

"Hi Mommy," he mumbled.

"Hi, Buddy. Did you sleep well?" I asked stroking his hair.

"Yeah," he said before lifting his head to look at me. "Mommy is Edward coming to play with me today?"

On one hand, I was overjoyed that they had gotten along so well and that Anthony wanted to spend more time with Edward. On the other, I was heartbroken because Anthony was getting attached and we were going back to Seattle in less than a week.

"No, Anthony. Not today," I said. "Today you're going to a Water Park with Uncle Jasper and Aunt Rosie. That sounds like fun, doesn't it?"

"Can't Edward come too?" he asked before he turned the puppy dog eyes on me.

"I'm sorry Anthony, he's busy. Maybe tomorrow, I'll talk to him while you're at the Water Park today and see if we can set something up for tomorrow."

"Ok," he finally said while leaning his head back onto my shoulder. "Wait! Did you say Aunt Rosie was here?"

"She's out in the other room," I said and he shot up and started climbing off the bed. "No running!"

I climbed out of bed to follow them and found the two of them on the floor tickling each other.

"Jazz, did you tell Rosalie about the plans for today?" I asked. Edward had really done a great job at coming up with suggestions for things the three of them could do today. As soon as he mentioned Coral Cove Water Park, Jasper stopped him knowing it would be the perfect thing to do with Anthony. I didn't know who was going to be more excited, Rosalie or Anthony.

"No!" Jasper said. "I was going to make it a surprise."

"We're going to a Water Park!" Anthony shouted full of excitement. "Hey Mommy, what is a Water Park?"

"Oh Anthony, you're going to love it. Water Parks usually have giant slides and wave pools. They also have a giant playground in the middle of the pool!" Rosalie answered before I could and, as of now, I could tell Rosalie might just be a little more enthusiastic than Anthony.

"Cool!" Anthony said with wide, excited eyes.

"You three are going to have so much fun today!" I said excited for them.

"Wait! You're not coming?" Anthony asked looking up at me.

"No, Buddy. I thought you would like to spend the day with Uncle Jazz and Aunt Rosie. I have Mommy things I need to do," I replied.

"Oh," he shrugged looking somewhat disappointed before Rosalie distracted him with more details about water parks.

The rest of the morning went quickly. We spent some time laughing and playing around before everyone needed to get ready for the day. Rosalie and Jasper helped Anthony get ready as I packed a bag for Rosalie to take with her. I wanted to make sure Anthony had a change of clothes and towels to dry off with. I also made sure he had sunscreen and a hat too. I had finished packing my mom bag for Rosalie to take with her when she found me.

"No! Absolutely not!" she exclaimed as soon as she found me. "I will not take your mom bag. It makes me look like a mom. Here," she said thrusting a bag at me, "It's a cool aunt bag!" I had to admit she had a point. Her bag was a Nike swim backpack. It had compartments for wet suits, which would be convenient for them.

"Ok," I relented without argument much to Rosalie's surprise. "I didn't realize you had brought something else that could work."

"I think you should take your mom bag, anyway," she replied. "It's not like you know what you're doing today and you should still be prepared."

That was true. Plus this way I could bring my camera and other things that wouldn't fit into my small purse. I only carry that bag when I don't need to be prepared for every possible contingency that goes with being the parent, or an exceptionally clumsy person, which is practically never. Yes I'm that person that always has the fully stocked first aid kit in her handbag because, truth is, I rarely leave any outing without a band aid.

After Anthony's and my day bags were packed, Jasper ordered a late breakfast, and I started to get ready. I had a moment of panic over not knowing what to wear when Rosalie swooped in and helped me pick out a casual outfit. We decided on a cute navy blue and red striped Henley for a top and jeans with a pair of strappy sandals that were perfect for chasing after a rambunctious boy and still looking cute.

Once I was ready to go we sat down to eat and Anthony spent the whole meal telling Jasper and Rosalie about his day with Edward yesterday. I could only hope that sometime tomorrow, Aiden would be telling his aunt and uncle or grandparents about his day with me with as much excitement and enthusiasm as Anthony did.

Anthony's ease in accepting Edward was conflicting for me as his Mom. I was thrilled that Anthony got along so well with Edward, but I was also scared what this would mean for all of us once we went back to Seattle. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt Anthony. Still, I was also hoping that today would go as well for me and Aiden as yesterday went for Anthony and Edward.

After breakfast was over, we started down to the car. Jasper and Rosalie would be taking the rental car to the water park while I was going to grab a cab to Edward's house. We got Anthony strapped into his car seat, after I loved on him for about five minutes straight. He didn't know how much the events of the day would change his life and mine, but he hugged me back without complaint and I was grateful.

I made sure Anthony knew he could call me if he needed me and that I expected him to listen to Rosalie and Jasper. I also made sure Rosalie and Jasper knew that if he didn't listen to them they were to leave the Water Park and come back to the hotel. The three of them rolled their eyes at me before shutting the doors and driving away.

I climbed into an awaiting taxi quickly, before I lost my nerve, and gave them Edward's address. The drive was only about 20 minutes long. Edward mentioned that it was only about 3 miles away from our hotel but because of traffic would take about 20 minutes to get there.

When I pulled up to the house I almost asked the driver to drive around the block because of my nerves, but that might have made me late. I didn't want to make a bad impression on Edward or Aiden, so I paid the cabby and got out. I looked up at the beautiful home in front of me in surprise.

It was an impressive three-story brick and limestone brownstone that my quaint little house in Seattle could have probably fit inside of once, but more than likely twice. I was just gathering my nerve to open the gate and walk up to the door when it swung open and Edward walked out to greet me.

"Hey," he said his eyes shining with excitement. "I'm glad you're here."

He looked so different than he did yesterday when he left the hotel room. Last night, after saying goodbye to a sleeping Anthony, Edward walked into the living room looking so sad, almost like he was about to breakdown. I considered hugging him and trying to console him, but he reminded me what time we would be meeting the next day before thanking me for the day and walking out the door all too quickly.

The tables were turned today. It was me walking up toward the door completely nervous while Edward felt all the trepidation of what this would mean for his son. It was surreal is what it was.

"Good morning," I replied as formally as he did yesterday.

"I just wanted to catch you before you came inside. My conversation with Aiden this morning was a lot like what you said you told Anthony before I met him yesterday."

"So friends?" I clarified.

"Yes. But I also wanted to let you know not to be discouraged, he's usually pretty shy around new people," Edward told me nervously, relaying the real reason he met me outside.

"I was a lot like that when I was his age. I'm just looking forward to meeting him," I said trying to put Edward at ease. Esme had already mentioned his shyness and I gathered it from the photographs I looked at last night.

"Ok, good," he said with a relieved breath. "Anthony opened up so quickly to me yesterday that -"

"Edward, I get it. It's going to be ok," I said interrupting him with a small smile. I could feel a long ramble that was about to happen from him and on the other side of that door was the boy I gave birth to. I didn't want to delay the moment I would meet him any longer.

He laughed a small laugh before turning around and opening his front door. I started to look around, curious about their home when I heard Scooby Doo on a television somewhere nearby.

We walked through a room, past a table of some sort, and into a kitchen. I wish I could have taken in more of the details of my surroundings, but I was laser focused on the sounds of Scooby Doo. When we walked into the open floor plan of the kitchen, it allowed me to see into a family room where Aiden was sitting on a couch completely focused on the television mounted above a fireplace.

With Aiden's attention elsewhere, I was allowed the opportunity to watch him for a minute before I approached. I had to take deep breaths to keep myself calm because he was just so beautiful. His curly hair was longer than it had been in the photos I'd seen. It almost looked to be covering his eyes. He was curled up in a ball with his knees tucked under him, but he had a small smile on his face. I could also almost make out a faint laugh that he was making.

"Are you ok, Bella?" Edward asked me quietly. I hadn't noticed that he was that close to me, but his voice broke me out of my staring. I blinked away a few tears and gave him a small nod. "Surreal, isn't it? I felt the same way all day yesterday."

"He looks like me," I said as I looked up at him.

"Yes, Bella, he looks so much like you," Edward said calmly.

He didn't know of my internal struggle, and he didn't know about my attacker, but he calmly indulged my moment of relief, which I was sure he just mistook for nerves. I know Esme told me the same thing weeks ago, and I saw it in pictures last night, but I was still afraid that I would walk in here today and see something of the man who attacked me.

I offered him a small, relieved smile before looking back toward Aiden.

"Let's go meet him," Edward said. "Aiden! Can you come here for a minute? There's someone here who wants to meet you."

Aiden looked straight at me as he came over towards us. As he was walking, I was able to take in his bare feet, his cute little nose, and the freckle he had near his ear. When he got close, he immediately went to hug Edward's legs and hide his face into them.

"Aiden, this is my friend Isabella," Edward said, as I knelt down to make it easier to speak with Aiden. "Isabella, this is Aiden."

Aiden didn't say anything but he was no longer hiding his beautiful eyes from me. I was overwhelmed. Usually when a mother is meeting her child for the first time they are a small squirmy newborn. But today, I was meeting my son. He had a personality that I didn't know. He had mannerisms and facial expressions that I couldn't yet decipher. His cries and laughs were sounds that I didn't know, and couldn't distinguish in a crowd. I didn't know how to help him stop crying. I didn't know how tightly he liked to be held. I couldn't name a single song that I could sing to him to get him to sleep.

If someone were to ask me what his bedtime routine was, or what his favorite toy was to play with at bath time, I wouldn't have an answer. I didn't know all of the things about him that a mother should know, but I knew in my heart that none of those things mattered, I was the mother of the shy little boy in front of me.

"Hello Aiden, you can call me Bella. I see you're watching Scooby Doo. It's one of my favorite shows. Can I watch with you?"

His eyes brightened at my comments and he wasn't able to hide his smile from me. I continued to smile at him as he looked to Edward, who nodded back at him in silent confirmation. Aiden then looked at me again, and nodded excitedly, before letting go of his dad's legs to walk back over to the couch.

I sat down on the other part of the L shaped couch so that I could face the television while still watching him some. I felt Edward sitting next to me also.

The episode of Scooby Doo was almost over. I laughed out loud at every funny moment and shrieked once or twice at the shocking ones. But with every noise I made I found Aiden looking over at me and smiling wider. I was hoping that my reactions to watching cartoons with him would help him open up to me. He didn't say anything else the whole episode but he did smile at me a couple times. It made my heart stammer.

When the episode was over, Edward got up from his spot on the couch and turned off the television without any complain from Aiden.

"Are you hungry, Aid?" Edward asked looking over at Aiden. But it was my stomach that broke the tension of the day. It growled so loud that both Aiden and Edward looked at me with wide eyes.

"I don't know about you two, but the monster in my belly could eat," I said with a laugh, then slightly ducked my head. I heard a large laugh to one side of me, before I heard the little laugh from the other. I looked over at Aiden and he was laughing out loud. The first sound I heard my son make was the most joyous laugh in the world, and I couldn't help but join in.

The three of us laughed for a while, it seemed like every time we got close to stopping my stomach would make another noise, which would start us off again.

"I guess I should get cooking so I can feed the beast in Bella's belly," Edward said trying to calm down some.

"Yeah, it's hungry," Aiden spoke. His voice while shy and timid was still one of the most beautiful sounds in the world to me.

"Is the beast in your belly hungry, Aiden?" I asked trying to keep him talking so I could commit more of his beautiful voice to memory.

"Yeah," he said.

"What do you like to eat?" I asked.

"Grandma's brownies," Aiden said his eyes shining like piping hot fudge on vanilla ice cream.

"What else do you like, Aiden?" Edward prompted from the kitchen where he was still in full view of us. "Please don't make Bella think the only thing I feed you are brownies."

"Cookies too," Aiden said cheekily. I laughed a hearty laugh because he was just too cute.

"What does your daddy make for you that you like to eat besides cookies and brownies?" I asked.

"Pan-a-cakes," he replied and pronounced the word like it was three different words.

"Oh, I love pancakes. Anything else?" I asked.

"No."

"No?" I questioned.

"Daddy can't cook," Aiden said with a laugh and a small shrug.

"Daddy can't cook?" I asked with wide eyes looking over at Edward.

"Guilty," he said a little embarrassed. "I am the master of the re-heat, though."

I raised an eyebrow at him a little curious.

"I'm not ashamed to admit that my mother still cooks for me. She never figured out how to only cook for my dad and herself and she always has leftovers. I think she does it on purpose, but every time I go over there, she sends me back with a dish or two. And she has a tendency to load up our freezer when I'm not looking," he said looking a little guilty.

"I do the same thing for my dad," I said trying to ease his mind a little. "He tried to learn to cook when I was little, but never mastered anything beyond eggs. I worry about his cholesterol eating out so much, so I load up his freezer every time I see him. So I guess you can say he's a master of the re-heat as well."

I looked back over toward Aiden worried that he would be upset that we were not talking to him, but he was sitting still just watching us and listening to our conversation.

"Can we help at all?" I asked Edward. I was more than willing to help just to have something to do with my hands, but I was also excited for the prospect of a home cooked meal that I did not have to prepare myself.

"Thanks for offering, Bella, but I'm almost ready. The table is all set so why don't you two go have a seat," Edward said while stirring something on the stove. If my sense of smell was correct, I would guess he is stirring tomato soup. "Aiden, can you please go wash your hands?"

Aiden nodded and ran off into a room, which I assumed was the bathroom. I walked over towards Edward in the kitchen and saw that my sense of smell was correct, he was stirring some tomato soup.

"I hope this is ok, my mom left us some soup, and grilled cheese and tomato soup is one of Aiden's favorite meals," Edward said while scooping out the soup into bowls.

"It's one of mine too," I said quietly. Grilled cheese and tomato soup was one of my favorites growing up. It was actually one of the first things I learned how to make. Sure back then the soup was from a can and the grilled cheese was usually burnt, but it's always been one of my favorite meals. Before I could comment further, Aiden ran out of the bathroom with his hands held high.

"Did you give them a good scrub doctor?" Edward asked looking down at Aiden.

"Good scrub, Daddy," Aiden said with a smile. I felt like I was witnessing a routine for them and my heart stuttered at the thought of all of the routines that I have missed and would continue to miss. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts, so I excused myself to the bathroom to wash my own hands and splash some cold water on my face.

Since I had met Aiden, I haven't missed a single sparkle of his eye or each shy smile. It might have taken him a while to open up to me, but since I had heard his voice and his laugh, I hung on his every word. How am I going to go on with my life without hearing those sounds, or seeing the sparkle in his eyes? He is a beautiful little boy and as he grows, I am going to miss seeing the beautiful boy develop into a handsome man.

This friend of the family plan may work on paper but in my heart I know that if we continue with this plan, I will never be more than a virtual stranger to the child I gave birth to. There is no way to go back and undo the switch, and it physically hurts me to imagine a world where I don't have Anthony. On the other hand, there is no way to make up for the time I have lost with Aiden, the memories, the special moments. That physically hurts too.

In a situation like this, someone was always going to be hurt. But if it is a choice between me or either of my boys hurting, well the decision is easy. I would do everything in my power to protect the boys from this mess and, in my heart, I know Edward will too.

I couldn't fall apart now, though. I was missing precious moments by hiding in the bathroom. So I wipe under my eyes, blow my nose quickly, and open the door.

When I get back into the kitchen, Edward is just filling the glasses with water. He looks up at me and when our eyes meet all I see is sympathy and understanding in his eyes. If anyone could relate to what I was feeling it would be him. I needed to look away; the intensity I felt in his stare was making my stomach go haywire.

"Are you sure I can't help with anything?" I asked one more time.

"Thanks, Bella, but everything's all ready. Why don't you go have a seat," Edward replied softly.

"Hey Aiden! Can I sit next to you?" I asked moving over toward the kitchen table. It was a unique table to see in a home. It has a u shaped booth with two chairs on the other side. I did glance over at Edward to make sure it was ok, but since his back was turned to me, I thought he might speak up if it's not. When I looked back at Aiden he was smiling and nodding so I slid into the end of the booth to sit.

Edward came over with the water cups and then he returned with the plates that had grilled cheese and a bowl of tomato soup. When he returned with the third plate he also placed a small plate with some croutons, cheddar cheese, and sour cream on it. I looked up at him surprised.

"I wasn't sure what you liked in your soup," he said with a shrug. I was honestly touched that he went to all of this trouble.

"It's perfect, thank you," I said as he pulled out the chair next to me and across from Aiden to join us.

The soup was really good. I would have to remember to compliment Esme if I saw her again. That actually reminded me of Rosalie's question about meeting Aiden this morning. I would have to find some time to talk to Edward.

We were all eating silently when I picked up the grilled cheese and took a bite. I could see Edward staring at me out of the corner of my eye as I chewed. I had to stop a moan from escaping my lips because it was really good as well.

"I think you were lying when you said you couldn't cook," I said looking over at him. "This is really good."

"That's a huge compliment coming from a chef," he said, obviously trying to take the attention off of him.

"No, I'm serious, Edward, it's really good." I continued eating the delicious sandwich.

"Thank you," he said looking a little embarrassed. "When we realized that was one of Aiden's favorite meals, I asked my mom to teach me. I had tried to make it, but my version was basically two pieces of toast with cheese in the middle."

Aiden and I laughed a little at that. I was laughing because it reminded me of my father in his first attempts at grilled cheese.

"That was bad," Aiden interjected with a chuckle explaining his own laugh.

"Yeah, it was really bad," Edward laughed. "But my mom taught me how to make it. I think we went through two loaves of bread and one small fire, but it is now one of the few things that I can make."

When I went to take the next bite, I dipped the sandwich into the soup before taking a bite. As I was chewing I noticed both Edward and Aiden were looking at me funny.

"What?" I asked looking between the two. "It's good!"

"I've just never tried it like that," Edward said but his eyes got wide so I turned to look at Aiden. He had dunked his whole sandwich and the hand that was holding it into his soup before putting it in his mouth.

"It is good!" Aiden said while chewing. But it was the look on his face with soup all over his face and hand that was so adorable. I was a little nervous though, I had seen some parents get upset at their kids for getting this messy while eating, and since Aiden emulated me, I thought maybe Edward was upset. But when I turned to look at him he burst out laughing so hard I thought he might fall out of his chair. His reaction caused the same laughter to come out of both Aiden and me. I tried to calm down so I could take in Aiden's laughter, but every time I started calming down I looked at either Aiden or Edward and it started back up.

Once we finally started calming down, Edward walked toward the sink to grab something and came back with a kitchen towel.

"Would you mind? You're closer to him," he said while still laughing a little but handing me the towel.

"Come here, Buster!" I exclaimed in response to Edward's question. He started toward me and I grabbed his hand as quickly as I could so he wouldn't drip soup everywhere. After his hand was clean, I cleaned his face. He looked up at me with wide eyes as I was carefully cleaning him off. I was trying not to think about the fact that this was the first time I was touching my son and the feeling it gave my heart. "Did I get it all?"

"Yes, thank you, Bella," he said as he scooted back over to his seat.

"Are you ok, Aiden?" I asked. I couldn't decipher the look on his face and I was honestly scared that I did something wrong.

"Buster?" he asked me quietly.

"I'm sorry, Aiden. I just called you that because you made your Daddy laugh so hard," I explained. "I won't say it anymore."

"No! I like it!" Aiden said quickly. I had to look over to Edward because I was so confused.

"Aiden's Uncle Emmett always says 'if someone gives you a nickname you like, you've got a friend for life'," Edward explained.

"I'd like it if we could be friends," I said looking back over to Aiden.

"Me too!" Aiden said picking up his sandwich and going to dunk it into the soup again.

"No!" Both Edward and I said trying to stop him, but it was too late.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

Lunch went quickly after Aiden's acceptance of us being friends. It was fairly quiet and I was worried that Aiden was still feeling shy, but I quickly found it to be the opposite, he'd just been hungry. I was able to ask a lot of questions, and Aiden was more than happy to share the answers. We talked about his Aunt Alice and his Uncle Emmett and how much fun he has with them. We also talked about Carlisle and Esme, his grandparents. He told me that she lets him help cook when she's making something that he likes. I was so enthralled in Aiden's every word that I didn't even realize that Edward had already cleaned up everything from lunch and was just sitting back down.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I would have helped," I told him honestly.

"Consider it my repayment for your sneaky lunch," Edward said with a smile.

"Oh well, in that case, keep your eye out for my rebuttal," I said challenging him with a smile.

"Daddy, can I go play?" Aiden asked.

"I thought maybe we could give Bella a tour of our house," Edward said looking at Aiden.

"Yea! I can show you my room and the play room," Aiden said jumping up excitedly.

We started in the family room, which was connected to the kitchen and also had doors to the patio outside. Edward led me back the same way I entered into the two rooms I didn't take much notice of before which were the dining room and the living room. The whole floor was immaculately decorated, while still looked comfortable and inviting.

I love every room. I finally took in the family room and it looked so welcoming and inviting. It was sunken down two steps from the kitchen and has exposed beams on the ceiling and dark hardwood floors. The walls are decorated in a neutral tan. One side of the room is covered in floor to ceiling dark wood bookcases with a fireplace and television in the center. The L shaped couch was a purple print that I never would have expected to be in the room, but it fit perfectly.

The kitchen was like a dream for me with dark woods, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. In fact I think the size of my kitchen at home was the size of Edward's island in the center of his gigantic kitchen.

The living and dining room, which are connected, seem very formal while still feeling homey. The walls are a bright yellow that contrast nicely against the dark hardwood of the floors and the dining room table. The living room portion has formal seating in chairs and a couch with another fireplace in the center of the area.

Aiden started heading upstairs and Edward and I followed diligently behind. I was trying to keep my mind from wandering a mile a minute, wondering what Aiden's bedroom would look like. Would it be covered in books and toys or would it look like a picture from a magazine with pristine decorations that only hinted at Aiden's age? Does he have a lot of stuffed animals or is he like Anthony and only has a select few? My mind was so preoccupied that I missed Edward pointing at the master bedroom, a room that we did not go inside, thankfully. He also showed me a guest room on the way to the final door on the floor. I knew it was Aiden's from the decorative nameplate hanging on the white door.

"Who's room is this? Aiden's room? I'm not quite sure, are you sure this is this your room, Aiden?" I joked looking down at Aiden.

"You're silly," he said opening the door.

The room took my breath away. It was everything I could wish for my son's bedroom. I saw a lot of toys and even more books all over the room. The walls were covered in a light tan with dark wood furniture. His bed had a deep forest green comforter on top with a couple of stuffed animals. But the wall behind the bed was my favorite feature to the room. Covering the wall was a mural of trees in the forest. It was a perfect blend of tans, browns, and greens but still had a child like wonder.

"This is amazing. I'm jealous that you get to sleep in a room this cool," I said excitedly to Aiden.

"Grandma did it just for me!" Aiden exclaimed.

"Wow! She must love you!" I said.

"She just finished it around his birthday. He saw a picture in one of his books where the bed was made out of trees and he wanted to put actual trees in his room. This was the happy medium that my mom came up with," Edward explained.

Aiden spent the next couple minutes pointing out all of his favorite toys, games, and books. I followed along attentively, soaking up every bit of information that he was willing to share. The only thing I wished I'd gotten a closer look at was the picture of him as a baby with a blonde woman that he had on his nightstand. It might have been his aunt, but it could have also been his mother. I didn't want to be rude and walk right up to the picture to take a closer look.

When he got bored he ran over to where Edward was standing and watching us and looked up at his dad as if to say 'what now'.

"Well, there's still the playroom to show her. Unless-" Edward started before Aiden bolted out the room and up another flight of stairs.

"Let's go, Bella," I heard him shout as he ran out the room.

"Aiden, no running!" Edward exclaimed as we went to follow.

When we reached the top of the steps I saw what had Aiden so excited about, it was a magnificent playroom in every sense of the word. On one side of the room there was a beautiful grand piano sitting on a platform. The other side of the room had shelves and bookcases containing any toy imaginable. There were also some child-sized tables and chairs.

"It's so we both can play," Edward said next to me as I was looking around in wonder.

"How perfect," I replied quietly. "Do you both play?"

"Aiden's tried but hasn't really shown much of an interest yet. He does love to have me play as he plays with his toys," Edward said. I was about to reply when I felt a little hand tug on mine next to me.

"This is a really cool room, Aiden," I said squatting down to talk to him.

"Can I show you something, Bella?" Aiden asked nervously.

"Of course you can," I said standing up. He kept a hold of my hand as he led me over to another wall. This wall had a corkboard with pictures covering it. Some were photographs that I was hoping I would have the chance to look over while others were pictures that I'm guessing Aiden drew. He led me over and pointed up to the lowest hanging picture.

"Wow, Aiden!" I exclaimed looking at the picture. I could tell just from the hair that it was a picture of Aiden and Edward. I think they had a bat and a baseball glove in their hands, so I asked, "Is that you and your dad playing baseball?"

He nodded and smiled up at me.

"That is really good!" I told him honestly. "Do you like playing baseball with your daddy?"

"I love it!" Aiden said excitedly.

"Actually," Edward said picking Aiden up and putting him up on his hip. "I was thinking, if it would be ok with you two that we could go to the park and show Bella some of your tee-ball skills. Then later today we'll head into the city for dinner and the Cubs game tonight."

"Really?" Aiden asked Edward excitedly.

"That sounds like lots of fun to me," I said trying to match his excitement. "Do you have an extra glove that I could borrow?"

"You'll play too?" Aiden asked me directly with wide shocked eyes.

"Of course," I said. I didn't understand who could turn down the opportunity to do anything he wanted with him. I just hope I didn't make a fool out of myself or worse, get hurt. "I'm not very good, but I used to play a little catch with my dad growing up."

"Wow, cool!" Aiden said still obviously shocked I was agreeable to the activity.

"Well that will be fun. Aunt Alice doesn't like to get dirty so she never plays with us and Grandma says she just sits out so that Alice doesn't feel left out," Edward said trying to explain some of Aiden's shock. "But I'm glad you're playing too. It will be more fun with three people."

Aiden was too excited after Edward mentioned the park to do anything else, so we got ready to go. Edward had already put the gloves, baseballs, a couple bats, and the tee-ball stand in the car, so they just needed to get Aiden's shoes on.

I went back into the kitchen to change my shoes out for a simple pair of sneakers that I kept in my bag for occasions such as these. Not wanting to intrude, I checked my phone and saw a couple missed texts from Rosalie. She was asking how things were and letting me know they made it to the park ok. I sent her a quick message to let her know that things were good so far.

Before I could put my phone away I heard Aiden and Edward enter the kitchen.

"Please go potty before we leave, Aid," Edward said as he walked over toward the refrigerator and took out some bottles of water. Aiden nodded and headed into the bathroom. Just as the door was closing my phone rang with another text.

It was a picture of Anthony playing in a playground that had a bunch of water fountains in the middle of it. It looks like they are having the time of their life.

"Well, I guess Anthony finally found a water fountain that he could play in all day long," I said mostly to myself.

"Is he enjoying the water park?" Edward asked.

"Oh yes, do you want to see?" I asked handing him my phone as he came closer.

"That's a great picture of him," Edward said.

"Thanks for the suggestion. I knew the three of them would have fun there today."

"I'm glad it worked out," Edward said taking a seat next to me at the kitchen table.

"Thanks for the warning about Aiden being shy, too. I might have gotten a little worried when it took him a while to say anything," I said.

"I think as soon as he heard the monster in your belly, any shyness that he might have had went away," Edward joked.

"The monster is great for a lot of things - breaking the ice, reminding me to eat, and I truly believe that it keeps the monsters out from under my bed while I'm sleeping," I joked back. Edward laughed at my joke and while I've never really considered myself a funny person, I did enjoy how easy it was to laugh with Edward.

When Aiden came out of the bathroom, we headed to the garage where Edward's car was located. Or should I say cars. We all climbed into a shiny, silver Volvo SUV, but I saw another car that was covered by a tarp. In fact, I think I also saw a motorcycle in the back corner, but I didn't want to be too nosy and look around too much.

The drive to the park was quick. Edward mentioned that we could have walked but with all of the tee ball gear that he was bringing, he decided to drive to make it easier on everyone. When we pulled up to the park, I could feel Aiden's excitement at our activity, which made me giddy as well.

"What do you want to do first, Aiden?" Edward asked.

"Tee-ball! Tee-ball!" he chanted while clapping and jumping up and down. He looked a little like a jumping bean with his curls bouncing as he jumped.

"You've been spending too much time with Aunt Ali, young man," Edward said teasingly, but that didn't stop Aiden from chanting.

"Tee-ball! Tee-ball!" I joined in with Aiden's chants.

"I see I don't stand a chance against the two of you," Edward said as he went to the back of the car to get the gear out of the trunk.

"Yeah!" Aiden cheered as he turned and gave me a high five.

"What position do you like to play, Aiden?" I asked.

"All of them! I like hitting and catching the ball in the field," he answered. "Daddy, do you think I could play both?"

"Sure thing, Aid," Edward replied. We started walking toward the field. I had tried to carry one of the bags that Edward taken out of the back, but he beat me to it before I could even bend down to pick it up. "I'm sure Bella or I could hit a few times."

"Well, you can hit, I'll probably swing and miss," I said warning them. I would never miss this opportunity to throw a few balls with my son, but I'm hoping they can overlook the fact that I am athletically challenged.

"If I can do it, you can do it, Bella," Aiden said.

"Well, thank you Aiden. I'm definitely going to try," I replied.

We had reached the field and Edward started to put the bases in place and set up the tee ball stand. It was truly a beautiful day, but then again it could be blizzard conditions with a tornado on the way and I would always remember today as a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the air was warm, a perfect day for spending time in the park with my son.

"I didn't realize that the sun would be this brutal," Edward said walking over toward Aiden and me. "I should have packed him a hat or something."

"I can take care of that," I said pulling out my mom bag. It truly was a massive bag to carry around everywhere we went but I am rarely caught off guard with it. I opened the side pocket where I kept the tissues, lotions, hand sanitizer, and sunscreen. I quickly handed the sunscreen over to Edward. If we were going to be out here for a while we could probably all use some.

"Thanks, Bella," Edward said relieved.

"No worries! I'm too pale to go anywhere without it. I have two colors albino-white and candy-apple-red, and the white is far less painful."

"When we were at the beach, Uncle Em forgot to put sunscreen on me and I got the nickname Aido-Tomato," Aiden said. I loved how he was opening up to me and sharing stories without prompt from Edward.

"Oh no! I bet that hurt a lot."

"Yeah. Daddy and Grandma wouldn't talk to Uncle Em until every last bit of red went away. It was there forever!" Aiden said as I laughed.

"I bet that showed your uncle."

"Nah, he wasn't too upset. I think he learned his lesson when he turned red himself and Aunt Ali hid the, um…"

"Aloe," Edward prompted as he continued to apply Aiden's sunscreen.

"Yeah! Aloe! Aunt Ali hid the aloe from him! He growled like a bear!" Aiden finished between laughs.

I laughed too. "Your aunt and uncle sound like a lot of fun as long as they remember the sunscreen."

"They're funny," Aiden said as he started to calm down some. Edward handed me back the sunscreen and I started applying some to my arms, neck, and face.

After the three of us were covered in lotion, we started passing the ball around in a triangle. Aiden would pass it to Edward who would pass it to me. I think Edward was taking it easy on me because I was actually catching the balls. I would then pass it to Aiden. He was pretty good at catching my passes as well.

Once we had spent about twenty minutes passing to each other, Edward declared us warmed up and Aiden ran to the tee ball stand that was set up where home plate usually is. It looks like they had a routine and I wasn't sure where I fit in, which is heartbreaking considering that he is my son too.

I looked over toward Edward for some direction and he suggested I stand between first and second base.

"When Aiden and I play with my brother one stands there while the other stands at shortstop and you get a point for every base you get on," Edward explained. "It makes it easier to play with three people. Plus we will all hit the ball using the tee ball stand and it's not easy to do as an adult."

I nodded a little, actually excited to be playing this game. I also thought it might be something Anthony would be interested in playing sometime.

"Ok, Aid, you know your stance, just take your time and swing," Edward said.

From my place near first base, I could see Aiden bite his lip in concentration as he stepped up to the tee ball stand. He took his time placing his feet, bending his knees, and holding the bat. I saw him swing but he only hit the stand, which made the ball fall.

"Nice try, Aiden!" I yelled needing to give him encouragement.

It took him a couple more tries until he finally hit the ball. I was so proud that I started jumping up and down and cheering which made it easy for him to get all the way to second base. When he stopped on the base, I started to go over to congratulate him when both Aiden and Edward started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You were so excited at his hit, you forgot to play your base!" Edward said as Aiden started laughing harder.

"Oh, woops!" I said with a laugh. "I said I would play, not that I'm any good."

Once we all calmed down again, Edward went up to bat. I noticed how hard it was for him to hit the tee ball. It was really low and Edward is probably 6' 2". I was worried that he would hit it way into the outfield, but after a couple swings, I saw that it would be nearly impossible for him to do so. Once he finally hit the ball, he hit it right to me. I was able to pick it up but I debated between running to first base or going to second for a moment too long.

"Get him, Bella!" Aiden cheered behind me.

"Get him, huh?" Edward said once he finally reached first base. "Where's the love, son?"

Edward and I were in a standoff. He was trying to run to the base while I was slowly backing up and making my way there. I was able to reach the base before he could get around me and he only ended up getting one point.

Since it was my turn to hit, I started toward home plate. It has been many years since I have hit a baseball, so I was trying not to make a fool out of myself. What actually happened couldn't have been any more perfect. When I finally hit the ball, it immediately went to the ground and started rolling right towards Aiden's feet. He was able to pick the ball up and run to first base before I could reach it. I might have been running extra slow, but the look of pure joy on his face when he was able to get me out was completely worth it.

We continued to play for a while, all taking turns hitting and between the bases. I can't speak for Edward, but it wasn't hard for me to throw the game to Aiden. He was really good and I paid more attention to him than where the ball was. Toward the end of the game, Edward whispered that he wanted to help Aiden get a home run. I was happy to help.

Aiden hit the ball in my direction but I was able to miss any catch and kicked it once when going to pick it up. Aiden was too busy running to notice. I went to throw the ball to Edward, but my throw went purposefully wild and he missed the catch. When Edward went to chase after the ball, Aiden started running toward third base. When Edward finally picked up the ball we both started running towards home plate. Edward and I were running slowly so it was no surprise when Aiden made it to home plate first. Edward and I started cheering while Aiden was jumping up and down on home plate.

"My first homerun! My first homerun!" I heard Aiden chanting as my eyes snapped to Edward. He was clapping and cheering for Aiden as well, but when his eyes met mine he shrugged and smiled at me. I was here to witness his first home run. I had to wipe tears from my eyes when everyone started to calm down. I have missed so many firsts and nothing would ever make up for them, but I would never forget the look of pure bliss on his face when he got his first home run.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

After Aiden's homerun he was declared the winner of our baseball game, so we cleaned up the baseball field and took the gear back to Edward's car. Aiden wanted to play for a little on the playground so we headed over to the playground. Apparently the park had rules that adults were not allowed on the apparatuses. It was ok, though, Aiden seemed perfectly content to play on his own. He kept looking over to us to make sure we were watching though.

"Thank you for letting me share this experience with you today, especially the homerun," I said to Edward never taking my eyes off of Aiden. The déjà vu of the moment was not lost on me though because, almost exactly twenty four hours ago, we were sitting on another park bench talking about the day.

"It was one of my thoughts yesterday, how much I have missed, the first time Anthony walked, what his first words were, and so on. My brother brought up how many more firsts a child can have and I wanted you to experience one of them with Aiden," Edward explained with a sad tone in his voice.

"Edward, he is an amazing little boy. He's so strong and full of life. Since I found out about him all I've ever wanted is for him to be happy, and I can see that he is very happy. So thank you. Thank you for loving him the way you do and for being the father that he deserves."

"As you said yesterday, he's made it pretty easy on me," Edward replied.

"I'm sure he has. How could anyone not love that beautiful little boy?" I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward look away. We sat in silence for a couple minutes watching Aiden. I would wave or smile at him every time he would look in our direction. I wanted him to know that he had my full attention.

"I was thinking about something all day yesterday, but I didn't know how to bring it up, and now, I think you might be thinking the same thing," Edward said cryptically.

"I think if there's one thing we need to have between us is open and honest communication. Our situation is precarious enough without it," I said to him honestly. We were in a delicate state and we needed to be able to talk to each other.

"I don't think either of us fully comprehended how complicated our situation is, and how difficult it will be to have our lives go back to normal after you return to Seattle," Edward said. "Knowing that there is another child out there, a beautiful little boy," he cut off shaking his head.

I knew exactly what he meant, and there have been so many times I've wanted to shout 'I don't know how I'll ever let Aiden go'. But I also didn't want Anthony to be taken away from me. I didn't know how to say one without saying the other and causing a big problem. Edward worded it perfectly.

"I agree completely," I said. "I didn't know how to say it, but I agree completely."

"I was hoping we could find some time to talk again. We can do it tonight, tomorrow, or whenever."

"Why don't we get through the day and then we can start talking about how we'll do this," I said. "I'm not going to lie, though, I don't even know where to start."

"I'll call my brother and tell him not to worry about the agreement we came up with the other night. We're going to need a revision no matter what," Edward said pulling out his phone.

"I'll call Kate later, right now, I'm going to go swing with Aiden," I told him getting up and heading over to the swing set. "Hey, Aiden! Do you want to swing with me?"

"Yes!" he cheered as he hopped off the slide that he had just ridden down. "Will you push me?"

"Of course. But first, let's get your shoe tied so you don't trip," I said.

"Oh," he replied and turned in the other direction.

"Hey, sweet boy, where are you going?" I called after him.

"My daddy will tie my shoe," he said confused.

"Well, I can tie it too, if you want."

"Oh," he giggled and made his way back to me.

I knelt down and tied his shoe and then got him situated on the swing. Once I knew he was safely on the swing I started pushing him. I used this as my opportunity to ask him questions.

We talked about his favorite thing to do at the park, which besides baseball, was the monkey bars. I asked him about stories he likes to read with his dad, games he likes to play, basically any question I could think of to get to know him better. When he complained of thirst, we went over to the bench where Edward had sat watching us. He was close enough to hear our conversation, but let me have my moment, for which I was grateful.

"Daddy, I'm thirsty," Aiden said crawling onto Edward's lap.

"I thought you might be, so I grabbed some waters out of the car while I was on the phone," he replied, "I also hope you don't mind, I brought you your bag from the car and I also took some pictures of you two on the swings." He turned the camera in his hands my direction and I was overcome with emotion again. He got some great action shots of us, but it was the look on both of our faces that made my heart stutter. Aiden was laughing but you could really tell we were related by the matching look in our eyes.

"Thank you," I said quietly looking away for a moment to gather my thoughts.

"I'll send them to you later," Edward said. "We should probably go in about a half an hour so we have time to clean up and get ready for tonight's game."

"Aww, Daddy," Aiden whined. "I don't want to go."

"That's why I gave you the warning. We can play one last game or do whatever you want for thirty more minutes so by then you'll be ready to go," Edward reasoned.

"So what do you want to do, Aid?" I asked hoping to change the subject from us leaving.

"Tag!" Aiden cheered getting up off of Edward's lap and poking my leg. "You're it!"

I smiled over at Edward, elated to be playing tag with my son and started to get up. I should have known better. The day was going along too perfectly and my clumsy nature had yet to show its ugly face when I tripped over my bag. I was just going to run after Aiden when I forgot it was in front of me and tripped over it. Luckily it was an easy fall, compared to some of the stumbles that I have taken in the past, and I only fell down on my hands and knees.

"Bella!" I heard Edward shout from behind me, but before I could get myself back up and laugh it off, I also heard the one sound that always makes a mother's heart break, Aiden let out a loud cry.

Edward and my stumble forgotten, I jumped up to race over to where Aiden was to see what was wrong.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," I think I heard Aiden saying when I got closer.

"Hey, hey! What's wrong, Aiden?" I asked. I was desperate to take him into my arms and comfort him, but I didn't know how he would react to that. Before I could debate any longer, Edward had made it over to us and scooped Aiden up. He sat down in the grass to comfort him and I did the same. I also saw he brought my bag with him.

"Aiden, what's wrong?" Edward asked. Aiden was clinging to Edward's neck tightly. I sat quietly next to them unsure of what to do, but not wanting to be far away.

"Bella fell. My fault," Aiden said between cries.

"No!" Edward and I both exclaimed.

"I tripped over my bag, Aiden. I wasn't watching where I was going. You weren't anywhere near me, why do you think it's your fault?" I reasoned.

"You were chasing me," Aiden said, crying still. "I wanted to play tag and you fell."

"It's not your fault and I'm not hurt. I promise, Aiden, It's not your fault. I trip daily, usually over air."

"She's ok, Aid. You didn't trip her. Bella's ok," Edward said still trying to soothe him.

Aiden was calming down a little when he leaned up and whispered something in Edward's ear. His eyes went wide and shot to mine but I couldn't hear what he said.

"Why don't you give her a hug and ask her yourself," Edward said and Aiden nodded letting go of Edward and scooting over to my lap. My heart was beating out of my chest at the possibility of hugging let alone soothing my son. After realizing how shy Aiden was, I had put away any hopes of a hug earlier in the day, but here we were a couple hours later hugging. Aiden put his head under my chin and wound his arms around my neck as I put my arms around him and squeezed.

"I'm ok, sweet boy. There's no need to cry," I said quietly to him as I patted his back hoping to dry the tears that I could feel on my neck.

"Don't go," Aiden said as my eyes shot to Edward. He was looking back at me and gave me a small nod. This must have been what Aiden whispered to Edward. Somehow Aiden must have felt responsible for me tripping and thought that I was going to leave because of it.

"Oh, my sweet boy. I'm having too much fun to be anywhere else right now. I'm sorry I made you cry. If I didn't trip you wouldn't be crying. But I still want to play with you. And I'd also like to go to the Cubs game tonight with you," I said.

"Really," Aiden asked with a hiccough.

"Really," I said holding on to him so tight. I knew eventually I would have to let go, but I never wanted this moment to end. Edward was right, there's no going back to normal after this weekend. "Now where's the little Buster that had all of us laughing at lunch?"

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**A/N Please review! But don't hate me too much for taking so long. **

**Now for the good news – while I make no promises, I will admit to truths. And the truth is this – the next chapter is halfway written. YAY!**


	9. Chapter 9: Cubs Game

**A/N: Ridiculously long Author's Note. Sorry for not updating sooner. Life got in the way, as always. I also had family that were severely affected by Hurricane Sandy, so my heart goes out to anyone else that is in the same situation. Plus had to get in the right headspace to write the ending to this chapter, you'll know what I'm talking about when you read it. **

**I want to tell everyone that I am fully committed to finishing this story, so you don't have to worry about me abandoning it. But thanks to those who sent me PM's and emails to make sure everything was ok. More at the bottom. **

**I promised myself that I wouldn't go see Breaking Dawn Part 2 until I posted this chapter, so I'd like to thank JFish88 and Deebelle1 for getting this chapter back to me so quickly so I can post it and finally go see the movie! YAY. Not to mention they did an awesome job deciphering my jumbled words so that you understand what I'm trying to say. **

**Also, a special thank you to Elliania for recommending me to the lemonade stand. It was a true honor to be nominated for fic of the week even if I felt like the new actress going up against a bunch of Meryl Streep's. **

**The usual disclaimer – the plot is mine. Anything else that you might recognize is not. I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just borrowed her characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

_Previously on Raising my Son _

_"I'm ok, sweet boy. There's no need to cry," I said quietly to him as I patted his back hoping to dry the tears that I could feel on my neck._

_"Don't go," Aiden said as my eyes shot to Edward. He was looking back at me and gave me a small nod. This must have been what Aiden whispered to Edward. Somehow Aiden must have felt responsible for me tripping and thought that I was going to leave because of it._

_"Oh, my sweet boy. I'm having too much fun to be anywhere else right now. I'm sorry I made you cry. If I didn't trip you wouldn't be crying. But I still want to play with you. And I'd also like to go to the Cubs game tonight with you," I said._

_"Really," Aiden asked with a hiccough._

_"Really," I said holding on to him so tight. I knew eventually I would have to let go, but I never wanted this moment to end. Edward was right, there's no going back to normal after this weekend. "Now where's the little Buster that had all of us laughing at lunch?"_

* * *

**Chapter 9 – A beautiful day for a baseball game**

We ended up only playing tag for a couple minutes before heading back to the car. All three of us were really quiet during the drive back to Edward's house. I think Aiden was tired from all of the excitement from the morning, but I was glad he no longer seemed to blame himself for my accident. Edward had a sad yet pensive look on his face. I was curious what was bothering him, but I didn't feel like it was my place to ask. After all, we couldn't be classified as friends yet.

When we got back to Edward's house, Aiden quickly ran inside to use the restroom. Edward started taking the bags out of the car, while I excused myself to the back deck to call to check on Anthony. I was missing him a lot.

Rosalie answered, and I could tell that she was dying to ask a million questions. But she sensed my need, to hear that Anthony was ok. I wanted to make sure he was having fun and enjoying himself, because I was feeling guilty for having fun at the park with Aiden when Anthony wasn't there to spend time with me as well.

These past few days have been emotionally exhausting, with continual ups and downs. I hated this feeling of being torn in two directions. How could I tell Anthony that I wished I was there with him and mean it, while also feeling that there was nowhere I would rather be right now than with Aiden?

Luckily for me, Anthony was more than happy to relay every detail of his day and tell me consistently how much fun he was having with his aunt and uncle. Other than an 'I love you' and 'I miss you' from him, he didn't seem bothered by the fact that I wasn't with him today.

While Aiden and Edward were still somewhere inside the house, I decided to make another phone call. I needed to call Kate to tell her to hold off on creating any formal agreements between Edward and myself, because what we had planned in terms of visitation the other night just wasn't going to work anymore. Before I could call Kate, though, my fingers had entered my dad's number.

"Bella? Are you ok Bells?" Charlie answered quickly.

"Oh Daddy," I said, trying unsuccessfully to hold back all of the emotions of the day. I still couldn't let them out, but hearing my dad's voice made it that much harder to keep them at bay.

"Bells, you're scaring me here."

"He's just so wonderful," I said quietly, as I wiped away the tears that had begun to spill over. "I see so much of you in Aiden. He loves baseball, and he's really good too. I got to see his first homerun, Dad. His first homerun, can you believe it? And he's got our curls – a full head of them."

"Oh Bella," Charlie sighed. "Of course he's wonderful, he's a part of you."

"I can't do it, Dad. I won't be able to walk away from him. I can't go back to my normal life after this week. I don't even know what normal is anymore. What can I do? What choice do I have? I won't be able to survive watching from afar as he has his first day of school, or when he loses his first tooth, or dates, or drives." I wasn't sure Charlie could understand me anymore. I could barely understand myself as the words flew from my mouth as fast as I thought them.

"I knew this would happen. Rosie called me the other night after finding out about your agreement and I knew you wouldn't have been able to go through with it after meeting Aiden."

"I'm pretty sure Edward feels the same way. He hasn't said it directly, but he's hinted at it. He wants to talk more tonight or tomorrow. But I don't know how to make this scenario work. I don't even know what I want to do anymore."

"I don't know what to tell you, Bells. There is a lot to work out. But one thing is for sure, one of you will likely have to move and you will both also have to commit yourself to being a parent to both Anthony and Aiden, which will mean sharing the role also. It's a lot to think about. Not to mention Aiden already has a mother, Bella. What about her?"

"I don't know much about her, Dad, other than she left two years ago."

"But she's still a factor, Bells. I tell you what, if you can put Edward off for another day, we can talk this through more when I get there tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Okay, good. Now get back to that little boy, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"I love you, kid," he replied before hanging up.

He was right, there was a lot to consider and I couldn't work it all out on my own. Any decision was bigger than just Anthony and me, too. I had a family who absolutely adored the baby I had raised into a phenomenal little boy, and, if given the chance, were going to love Aiden just as much. Whatever Edward and I decided to do, our decisions were going to affect the rest of our lives, the rest of our sons' lives and our families too. I couldn't make a hasty decision and I needed to do a lot of planning.

I needed to make the call to Kate before I want back inside. I would feel bad if she had been working on my case unnecessarily. The phone rang a couple of times before she picked up.

"Don't worry, I haven't even started," she said sounding amused.

"Hello to you, too, Kate. How is that possible?"

"Come on, Bella. I know you too well. I always knew that as long as Edward Cullen was amiable, you would want to be a large part of Aiden's life. Not to mention, I received an email from Emmett Cullen a couple of hours ago," Kate explained.

I was so shocked that I didn't even know how to reply.

"So you enjoy the rest of your day and we can talk later this weekend. I'm going to let Emmett take the lead on this, since you both are there, but don't worry, I have him by the balls. Plus, I could always stick Rosalie on him if I think he's not acting in both of your best interests. Okay? Hug the bambinos for me, please, and we'll talk later. Bye Bells," Kate said before hanging up. I was still stunned that it took me a while before I realized I had barely said a word.

When I turned to go back inside, I saw Edward and Aiden sitting on the floor of the living room coloring. I had to stand and watch for a moment because I felt like I was witnessing a true father son moment.

I couldn't hear what was being said, but I could see them talking with the sporadic chuckle intertwined. Aiden was biting his lip hard in concentration at whatever he was working on, while Edward was trying to sneak peeks over his shoulder.

They fit together so well already. Edward cared for Aiden so much, and it was apparent in his every move. He was often silent and quite stoic in his mannerisms, but anyone who had spent even the smallest amount of time with them, could tell that Aiden was always foremost on his mind; and Aiden looked up to Edward like he's a superhero. It was appropriate though, since his father was his hero, and the love and admiration that he felt for his dad was more than any mother could wish for, for her son.

Edward looked up and met my eyes, like he has so many other times these past days. I could see him start to get up, but I really didn't want to be on the outside looking in any longer. So, I wiped my tears and went inside to sit down at the coffee table and color with my―our son too.

Aiden looked up at me and smiled as I sat down before going back to his coloring. Edward passed me some colored pencils and a blank piece of paper.

"Are you ok?" he mouthed to me. I shrugged before nodding. No matter how I was feeling, now wasn't the time to deal with it. I was here to spend time with Aiden. I wanted to get to know him better. Edward reached over and grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. It felt like his way of telling me that he understood. "I'm going to go grab us some waters. Do either of you want anything else?"

"Animal crackers!" Aiden said excitedly and it brought a smile back to my face. Anthony loves animal crackers too, just as did I when I was their age.

We sat and colored until it was time to get ready to head into the city. The picture that Aiden was drawing was of him and me on the swings today. I was so touched by his gesture when he handed it to me that I immediately pulled him into another hug. I wasn't thinking and I immediately became afraid that I overstepped any boundaries that Edward was hoping to set, and that I might have scared Aiden with my hug. But Edward offered me a smile and Aiden just held on tight.

We rode into the city which took longer than I expected, even considering that it was rush hour, or at least close to it. Edward parked in a lot marked for VIPs and we started walking to a restaurant called Rockit Burger.

Aiden was obviously no stranger to Cubs games, because they discussed where to eat most of the trip there. I would have been fine with hot dogs at the game, but I enjoyed watching the two of them debate food options so much. Edward would suggest a place and Aiden would get really excited and start telling me about his favorite thing to eat at that restaurant. But before the decision could be officially made, Aiden thought of another place he liked to eat near the former. The back and forth went on for most of the car ride until they settled on Rockit Burgers, which was, ironically, the first place mentioned.

Dinner was great. Aiden spent most of the meal telling me stories about spending time with his aunt, uncle, and grandparents. It sounds to me like they spend a lot of time together and that he is at the center of a really great family.

There was an awkward moment when the waitress asked Aiden if he was going to the game with his parents.

"Yes!" he replied excitedly and not catching that she said parents instead of parent. "Daddy is taking me and my friend, Bella, and we have really good seats too."

She shot us a confused look because out of the two of us, I looked more like Aiden than Edward. I hadn't anticipated any questions we might get from strangers, or what could happen if we ran into someone that Edward knew. I didn't know how I would feel if Aiden started correcting people by saying 'she's not my mom'. I think it would break my heart. Before I could make myself overly upset by these thoughts, the bill arrived and Edward had snatched it up before I could even react.

"Don't even think about it Bella, this meal is on me," Edward said as he put a credit card in the billfold, without even looking at the total, and handing it back to the waitress.

"Yeah, Bella, a pretty lady shouldn't ever pay for a meal in the presence of a gentle man, and if you won't let Daddy pay, then I'd have to pay, and I'm too young to have a job," Aiden said as he stuck the full force of his puppy dog eyes on me. I started laughing at what he said, but inside I was melting. He was just too adorable for words.

"First, the word is gentleman not gentle man. Second, where in the world did you learn that, Aid?" Edward asked in stunned disbelief.

"Uncle Em," Aiden replied while smiling with a shrug. "I'm his wingman when we're together."

"Well me and your uncle are going to have a chat," Edward said as he signed the receipt and started to gather his things.

We walked back over toward the stadium. The number of people around us had grown exponentially since we'd gone to dinner. Aiden walked in between Edward and me, while holding onto his baseball glove in one hand, and Edward's hand with his other. When we got to the street we had to cross, I was a step behind the two of them but I wish I had a video camera out for what happened next.

They got to the curb and, even though the sign was signaling that we could cross the street, the two of them stopped then each of their heads turned to the right, then to the left, then to the right again. After they were satisfied that no cars were coming unexpectedly, they looked at each other nodded then started walking.

I chuckled a little to myself, but I couldn't help but think about all of the routines that the two of them have developed. The cute thing they did to make sure Aiden washed his hands while in the bathroom, and now the routine they had when crossing the street. Not that I had any doubts before, but Aiden was truly loved and cared for.

"Come on, slow poke," Aiden called to me. I realized that I was more than just a step behind the two of them now. So I caught up quickly, shaking my head to clear the negative thoughts from my mind for now, and just concentrating on being with them.

There was no line at the VIP entrance so we were able to make it into the stadium without any delay. Edward started walking toward the drink line to grab some bottles of water since we couldn't bring any inside with us, when I spotted a Cubs store only a couple feet away. I couldn't come to a game without getting Anthony a little gift.

"Would you mind if I stepped into the store for a second?" I asked Edward and Aiden.

"Oh, Daddy! Can I go too?" Aiden asked.

"Promise you'll stay right next to Bella?" Edward asked.

"Yes, Daddy," Aiden said with an eye roll before he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the store.

Aiden led me through the store pointing out all of the stuff he already had, even going as far to point out the jerseys that his dad or uncle had. He sure did love his baseball. It reminded me so much of Charlie.

I was in a small jam, though. I wanted to buy something for Anthony but I'm not sure how I could do that without buying something for Aiden at the same time. I also didn't know if Edward would be ok with me buying a little trinket for Aiden and didn't want to upset him or make him feel uncomfortable. Maybe I could just scope it out now, then sneak out later and get something while going to the bathroom.

"So, Aiden, it sounds like you come to a lot of games."

"Yeah, I usually go with my daddy, sometimes Uncle Emmett," he said with a shrug. "Once we went to a game and it was Daddy, me, Uncle Emmett, Aunt Alice, Grandma, and Grandpa. We watched from a booth," he started.

"You mean a box," Edward said walking up to us.

"Yeah, a box! It was really cool!"

"Well that does sound really cool. Thanks for letting me come along with you and your daddy today, I've had fun," I said to him.

"You're pretty good at tee-ball, Bella," he said.

"I've played a couple of times with my son," I replied. I hadn't realized that it was the first time I mentioned Anthony to Aiden and his expression worried me. He immediately looked down and bit his lip. I wished I could understand his expression, because he looked so sad, and that was breaking my heart.

"You're a mom?" Aiden asked quietly. I chanced a look at Edward but he was looking down at Aiden, rubbing his back and I couldn't interpret the look on his face either.

"Yes, Anthony is four, just like you," I told Aiden.

"Bella's told me a lot about him, Aiden. I think you'd get along great. Maybe tomorrow all four of us can do something together?" Edward said looking to me for confirmation.

"That sounds like fun to me," I said trying to bring back the excited little boy.

"Okay," he said quietly. I would have to ask Edward later if he knew what that was all about.

"Hey, Aiden. Will you help me pick out something small for him?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said with a small bit of excitement in his voice as he walked toward the kids section of the store. Edward and I followed a few steps behind.

"Did I upset him?" I asked quietly.

"I honestly don't know what upset him," Edward said sadly.

"I have a question and I want you to know it would be completely ok with me if you said no, but would you mind if I got Aiden something small?" I asked Edward. "I wouldn't feel right buying something for Anthony in front of him without getting him something as well. Plus, I would really like to buy him something to remember our day."

"I'm sure that would cheer him up, Bella. I'm ok with that, but thank you for asking," Edward said just as we reached Aiden. He was standing in front of a rack of small stuffed animals with two in his hands. One was a small red and blue bear cub whose torso was made of a stuffed baseball. The other was a long but thin sock monkey that had the cubs c stitched on his belly. I immediately knew which one I wanted to get for both of them, but I was letting Aiden decide.

"Which one do you think he would like, Bella?" Aiden asked showing both of them to me.

"Well, which one do you like?" I asked kneeling down to look at him.

"I like this one," he said holding the sock monkey up. "But if you don't like that one, you can get him this one."

"Did you see two of these?" I asked grabbing for the sock monkey.

"Yes!" he said turning around and grabbing the other stuffed animal.

"Then would you like it if I bought one for you and one for Anthony?" I asked making sure he was ok at getting the same thing as Anthony. The smile that lit up his face was priceless to me.

"Yes!" he said. "Thank you, Bella."

"Anytime, Aid," I said grabbing both of the sock monkeys and heading toward the register. Edward pointed toward his phone and the exit and I nodded. He was telling me that he was going to take the phone call so I would keep my eyes on Aiden.

The man behind the counter was leering at me in a way that made me uncomfortable. I had a nervous feeling in my stomach and the hairs on the back on my neck were standing up. I just kept one hand on Aiden as I fished my money out of my purse trying not to look him in the eye.

"Aren't you a lucky little boy to be going to a baseball game with such a pretty lady," the creepy cashier said speaking to Aiden. I could feel him tighten his hold on my hand and hide his face in my leg. "Aww, don't be like that."

I started to tap my hand impatiently on the counter hoping to move this along a little. I noticed that there were two other people in line by this point, but one was talking with a friend and the other was texting. Neither were paying me or Aiden any attention.

"I'm just trying to make a purchase here sir," I said quietly. I could feel my body stiffen a little as I tried to square my shoulders.

"And I'm just trying to pay you a compliment," he said.

"And you're holding up the line," I hissed, finding my backbone.

"Just give me one smile."

"Hey you two, what's taking so long?" Edward said coming up next to me and Aiden. He immediately scooped Aiden up and placed his hand on my back. I jumped a little at the unexpected touch, but it was comforting in a way I hadn't expected either.

"My change, sir," I asked even more forcefully this time. The cashier held out my change in a way that would have been awkward for me to grab without grazing his skin. When I hesitated, Edward grabbed it out of his hands and we started out of the door.

It had been a while since I was in an uncomfortable situation. I was usually better at noticing my surroundings and observing the people around me. If I had noticed the cashier looking at me earlier, I might not have made a purchase. Or I would have asked Edward to stay with us. But I had been concentrating on Aiden and I let my guard down. I just couldn't let Edward or Aiden see how affected I was about what just happened.

Edward led us to our seats with me carrying a bag with the bottles of water that Edward purchased and the sock monkeys. He was still carrying Aiden and kept a hand on the small of my back as well.

I was trying to keep my breathing in check as we walked, because I could feel my heart hammering inside of my chest. I was scared, that much was clear. It had been a while since I felt this scared, but there was an extra degree added to my anxiety level because Edward and Aiden were the only ones around me that I knew. And they were still practically strangers to me.

I glanced over at Aiden quickly as we were walking, needing to make sure he was ok, but he had his face buried in Edward's neck. I immediately felt horrible, as Aiden seemed upset by the encounter and the whole event could have been avoided if I had been more vigilant. The fact that I couldn't comfort Aiden at the moment did not help my guilt either.

I don't know how Edward did it, but he was able to keep me relatively calm while weaving through all of the other fans. The hand he placed on my back was enough to keep me close while navigating the hallway toward our seats. Somehow, we made it to our seats without bumping into anyone, which unbeknownst to him, might have sent me into a full blown panic attack.

Our seats were right behind the dugout on the third base line. I've never seen a professional baseball game in anything but nosebleed seats before, so I was a little in awe.

"Aiden, are you ok?" Edward asked him seriously as soon as we sat down. Aiden hadn't spoken since we were in the store, so I was worried too.

"Daddy, that man was creepy," Aiden said matter-of-factly. I burst out laughing at his reaction. He didn't seem frightened at all anymore, he just felt like sharing the fact that he was creeped out with us.

"Yes, he was, son," Edward said with a smile and a small laugh.

We got Aiden situated between Edward and myself, and Edward looked over at me and mouthed, "Are you okay".

I nodded back at him because now that we were seated, and I knew Aiden wasn't upset, I was feeling better. I just hoped that Edward hadn't noticed how stressed the whole event had made me and ask any awkward questions that I couldn't answer. I didn't want to explain my reaction to him. I also wasn't sure I could explain it to myself. It took Jasper, Rosalie, and Charlie months to figure out how to calm me down after a panic attack or near panic attack, but Edward was able to do it with just one touch. Before I could start overanalyzing what just happened, "Let's Get it Started" by the Black Eyed Peas started playing over the loud speaker and Aiden jumped up to start dancing and singing. Any questions or feelings that I was about to overanalyze would have to wait till later, because right now I had a baseball game to watch with my son.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

The game was so much fun. Aiden really got into it and was cheering the loudest of anyone around us. When I would cheer right alongside them, Aiden would look up at me with a giant smile. I think I cheered louder and more often than I ever had in the past in hopes of seeing that smile. But most of all, I sat there with a smile watching Aiden more than I watched the game. If it wasn't for his blinding smile and cheers at the end of the game, I might not have known who won.

Our walk back to the car seemed to take forever. I think I was walking slowly because I didn't want to say goodbye yet. Hell, I almost didn't ever want this day to end. The only thing that would have made it more perfect would have been having Anthony with us. Aiden was excitedly walking between Edward and me recounting some of the better plays of the day. I was trying to listen intently, wanting to see the game from his eyes, but I couldn't get rid of the sense of foreboding that I felt.

The traffic leaving the stadium was typical bumper-to-bumper game day traffic. I noticed as we were finally pulling out of the parking lot, that Aiden had fallen asleep.

"How about we have breakfast tomorrow at your hotel?" Edward asked quietly so Aiden wouldn't wake. "We can decide what to do then."

"We'd like that," I replied. "Thank you for today, Edward."

"Aiden had a lot of fun. I did too for that fact."

"He's an amazing kid."

"He warmed up to you quicker than I expected. He really likes you."

"Edward," I started not sure what to say next but we needed to talk about this. "How are we going to do this?"

"Let's find some time to talk tomorrow. Maybe the boys can entertain themselves. Or we could do it the day after. My parents were going to invite Anthony, you, and your friends over for a barbecue so everyone could meet on Saturday," Edward said. I was really grateful that everyone would have a chance to meet one another and the boys. But mostly, I was glad I still had some time to sort out my feeling about this situation. The truth was, I was so conflicted that I wasn't sure what I wanted yet, and I wanted some time to figure it out on my own before discussing it with my dad and everyone else.

"You're right, we have time. And that sounds like fun, the barbecue, I mean. I'll talk to Jasper and Rosalie but I'm pretty sure we'll be there. My dad will be in town by then and they were all really hoping to meet Aiden as well," I replied.

"Funny story," Edward said with a little chuckle, "my brother and sister are so impatient to meet Anthony, that I had to tell them we were going to the aquarium and then the zoo yesterday because I knew they would show up trying to catch a glimpse."

"No!" I said laughing quietly.

"Yes they did," Edward replied. "I know them well enough that they never would have been able to watch Anthony from afar, so I had to trick them. Good thing too, I guess since they went searching at both places. I just didn't want to overwhelm Anthony."

I just laughed again lightly. Edward's comment about watching from afar was hitting a little too close to home. That is what I would have to do for the rest of Aiden's life if we kept this arrangement the same. I really hoped we could find a better arrangement.

"We're here," Edward said quietly getting out of the car to come over and open my door.

"Are we home?" I heard a tired voice in the backseat ask.

"Not yet, Aid. Your daddy's just dropping me off at my hotel," I said stepping out of the car. I motioned to my head to Aiden and I think Edward understood that I wanted to say something to him quickly before he left.

I opened the backseat and knelt down so he could see me.

"Thanks for today, Aiden. I had a lot of fun," I said as I handed him the sock monkey that I had been holding onto. He hugged it to himself lightly before looking back up at me.

"Me too, Bella," he mumbled. "Will you come back tomorrow?"

"Is it ok if I bring Anthony to play with us too?" I asked making sure he was ok with meeting my son. He nodded at me with droopy eyes. I knew he would be asleep again in a matter of seconds so I moved his curls from his forehead and gave him a quick kiss to the forehead. "See you soon, Buster."

His eyes opened once again and he smiled up at me, "see you soon, Bella."

Edward understood the emotions that I was dealing with so he handed me my bags and gave my hand a small squeeze.

"I'll call you in the morning, Bella," he said opening his door to get back in the car. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams," I replied quietly before I rushed inside a little quicker than normal.

I couldn't stay to watch them drive away because it wouldn't take much for the tears to start flowing. I felt so torn. A part of me wanted to stay with Aiden. I wanted to see his bedtime routine. I wished for one more hug or to even just watch him sleep, as I had done with Anthony so many times. I also couldn't wait to get upstairs to see Anthony. I couldn't remember the last time I had gone this long without seeing him. I felt like no matter which choice I made I would be betraying a son.

When I got inside, there was an elevator waiting for me so I rushed into it. I held my breath the whole time the elevator was moving out of fear that I would truly start crying. Once the doors opened, I practically ran to the door of the hotel room.

After I got the hotel room door open, I went past the living room where I saw Jasper and Rosalie asleep on the couch and checked in on Anthony. He was fast asleep, as expected, so I put the matching sock monkey in his hands and saw him cuddle up to it a little. I knelt down and kissed him on the forehead and pulled the covers up to his chin. I missed this little boy so much today that I couldn't help but climb in next to him and love on him some.

As I watched Anthony dream, I silently vowed to always protect him and to make sure I always put his needs first. I promised that every day he would know how much I loved him and that he was my son no matter what genetics told us. I silently swore to him that meeting Aiden today did not change how I felt about him.

I needed Anthony to know that I loved him and that I would always do what is best for him, even if that now included sharing him with another family. I didn't know how that would work or what that would mean for him, but any transitions and adjustments that would have to take place; I needed to put Anthony above all else. At the same time I felt guilty because I wanted to be with Aiden as well. My heart was breaking because both of these little boys lives were about to be completely turned upside down because of a mistake that wasn't their faults.

I don't know long I sat there watching him, silently making promises. I could feel my face getting wet with my tears. He is such a happy, energetic child, and I'm scared that this was going to change that. I felt so angry that we were put in this situation, but I also couldn't imagine living in a world where I never met Anthony. If I were to wish that we were never put in this quandary, it would be like wishing that I never met Anthony. I just didn't know how to feel. I love Anthony so much but I also can't help but feel angry for all that I have missed with Aiden. How I will continue to miss out on so many special moments.

"Bella," Rosalie said softly behind me. My back was to the door and I never heard her come in the room. It took effort, but I took my eyes off Anthony and searched out hers. "Come on, I'll make you some tea."

I saw Jasper standing in the doorway looking at me with sympathetic eyes. I looked back at Anthony one more time before starting to get up. "I love you so much, little man. Dream only happy dreams."

Rosalie took my hand as soon as I stood up. She didn't pull me into the other room, because I think she knew how hard it is for me to walk away from Anthony right now. It was almost like I was afraid he was going to disappear.

I don't know how much more I can take of this constant pull in different directions. No matter what I do, I feel as though I am always walking away from a son. This was a lose-lose dilemma I found myself in.

"Bella, did today not go well? You're scaring me here," Jasper said as I came and sat down on the chaise lounge.

"It could not have possibly gone any better than it did," I replied with a watery smile.

"That's great, Bella. Do you want to talk about it?" Jasper asked.

I could tell Jasper was trying to be respectful by not pushing me, but I also knew he was dying to ask about my day. The problem was, even the questions that he did ask were hard to answer. I didn't know how to do anything but cry right now. So that's what I did, I started crying harder.

"Oh Bella," Rosalie said coming closer with two cups of tea. "Talk to us, girl. It might help."

I pulled my knees up under my chin so Rosalie could sit down on the chaise and hugged myself tightly trying to hold myself together.

"I don't know what to do anymore. How will I ever leave? But I can't be his mom, because he already has one. What can I do? I just love him so much already." I finally admitted it, not out loud to them, but to myself too. I was able to choke back my tears until I looked up at Rosalie, who was crying as well. At the sight of her, the flood gates opened and I bawled. I cried so many tears; some were tears of joy at how wonderful a child Aiden is. Others were tears of frustration at the situation that I found myself in. I was so confused and didn't know what to do anymore.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

It took a long time, but I was finally able to calm down. Once I stopped crying, I told them everything about my day. We stayed away from talks of the future and what this meant for Anthony and me, but I felt like such a proud momma when sharing every detail that I learned about Aiden.

Jasper and Rosalie mostly just sat there listening, which is exactly what I needed. Once in a while one of them would comment on Aiden's personality traits that seemed similar to Charlie or me. I also told them about my conversation with Charlie and his promise to sit down and talk everything out with me once he arrived.

We did talk a little about the next couple days and how excited I was for Anthony and Aiden to meet. I didn't know which I feared more, that they wouldn't get along or that they would become inseparable, but I kept my fears to myself for the time being. That seemed to be the way I dealt with things as of late.

Rosalie and Jasper became visibly excited when I told them about the cookout we were all invited to the day after the next. They were very much looking forward to meeting Aiden and the rest of the Cullens. I could also tell that they would be on guard for me, making sure that Anthony and I were treated respectfully. I couldn't ask for two better friends.

The only other part of the day that I kept to myself was the interaction with the creepy cashier and Edward's ability to keep me calm afterwards. I knew Jasper probably would have given me the third degree for not being better aware of my surroundings and Rosalie would have tried to dissect Edward's ability to calm me down. Neither were conversations that I was interested in having at such a late hour, so I kept the whole incident to myself. Though it could end up biting me in the ass later. I tried hard to push the entire incident out of my mind. I didn't need any additional drama right now.

After recapping my day twice to Jasper and Rosalie, we all decided to get some sleep. Since I would be busy with Anthony, Aiden and Edward, they were getting up early the next day to go on a food tour of Chicago. Conveniently they decided to leave before Anthony and I had breakfast with Aiden and Edward. I knew they were both dying to meet Aiden, but since it was planned for the day after next, they were going to respect my wishes to not overwhelm the boys any more than necessary.

Not wanting to disturb Anthony, I decided to crash on the couch. I figured I would have a hard time trying to fall asleep because of my mind being in overdrive, but I was pleasantly surprised when I succumbed to slumber rather quickly. I must have finally worn myself out with the emotions that I have experienced the last couple of days. But it was more than my mind that was overwhelmed, my body felt completely exhausted too.

**~~~~~~~~~~~ RMS ~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Just give me one smile," the voice called. "Don't be like that, I'm just trying to pay you a compliment."

The voice sounded eerily familiar but his face was hidden in shadows. He voice kept coaxing me to smile, but I could barely move let alone smile. It was as if I had no control over body.

The voice continued to taunt me and as my hazy vision began to clear, I realized I was no longer in a hotel room with my son, but in the room that I longed to forget. I knew deep in my subconscious that I was trapped in a dream, but my body was unable to move, my voice unable to scream. Every joint was locked together and I was still as a stone except for my eyes.

Despite knowing this was a dream, the room I was in terrified me beyond belief. It is the room that I was trapped in, for what felt like a lifetime, nearly five years ago. Only then, I couldn't move because I was tied to the bed, or I was drugged to a near catatonic state rendering me immobile.

As the room became clearer, the face to the voice that I had been hearing was finally visible. It belonged to the cashier from the Cubs game earlier today. He was looking right at me, and my mind wouldn't allow me to look away. As I stared into the face of the man that frightened me earlier today, it morphed into a man that has been terrifying me in my sleep for five years now. The man I hated. I watched as the cashier who had greasy skin and hair, was overweight, and only a few inches taller than me transform into a man who is much taller, more built, but was now also wearing a ski mask over his face.

I could see _his_ lips moving through the mask, but I couldn't make out what _he_ was saying. I could only hear my pounding heart in my ears, preventing me from hearing _his_ words and voice anymore. I could not only see him getting closer, but I could feel it too. My body started to sweat and my mind was working overtime as I tried to get my limbs to move, to fight back this time, as I hadn't been able to before. It was useless though. I couldn't even look away, as _he_ crept closer and closer to me. I never could look away in my dreams. I stared at the man, subconsciously trying to find something in _his_ features that I had not noticed before.

I remembered some features and distinguishing marks that I had described to the police before, but it was never enough. _He_ wore a mask, which only left _his_ cold, almost black eyes uncovered. I could see so much hate in his eyes that I could only hope were reflected in my own. _He_ usually wore a black hoodie, too. And my eyes were rarely uncovered for long enough to find any more marks. So when _he_ haunted my nights, I would stare. I had no other choice but to watch _him_, my body wouldn't move, and my eyes couldn't shut.

As _he_ got closer, I felt something on the small of my back. It was like a talisman that I had never felt before in this room, and never in my dreams before. It was a tiny anchor that unlocked my whole body and allowed me the ability to finally move after all this time.

I screamed and jerked up off the couch, grateful I hadn't been in bed with Anthony who, no doubt, would have be awoken by my noise. It was the first time since the nightmares had started five years ago that I woke up before I felt _his_ hands touching me again. I couldn't help but be grateful to whatever it was that saved me from completely reliving the worst moments of my life. I just wish for the life of me I knew what it was that had changed and allowed me to escape before I was forced to relive the torture the _he _had inflicted on me those horrific nights.

* * *

**A/N Please review! I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for each and every one of your reviews. **

**No promises on the next chapter, as this is my busiest month of the year at work, but I am hoping it will be before next year. **

**One more thing before you ask - no, the cashier didn't have anything to do with Bella's attack. It was just a trigger for her nightmare. **


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